Destiny's Kiss

I sped past Ashley’s house as he was pulling up to the end of driveway. He spotted me, and pulled out right behind. I was too busy trying to drive, and feeling utterly numb to care. My vision was getting hazy; like there was a fog surrounding me. My whole body had gone completely numb, and I couldn’t feel a thing.
I turned off the country road and made my way towards town; towards the old bridge. The bridge I had loved was gone, but there its twin bridge further down the road was still there.

I had a few miles to go before I got there. I knew I had to lose Ashley before I arrived, or he would try and stop me. I just couldn’t risk having that happen. I’d made my decision; it was mine to make. I had come to peace with it, and that’s all my mind was focused on.
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I had left a long, detailed note to all everyone in my life that I cared about. I also left individual letters for certain people—more heartfelt ones describing the memories I cherished most.

Going down the main stretch through town I made a quick turn and pulled into a driveway. Ashley didn’t notice and kept going down the road. I backed out of the driveway and continued my journey, taking a different route so I didn’t run into him again. I sped down the road, going about 20 over the speed limit. The song Paradise- Coldplay, was playing through my speakers. For the duration of the song I was lost in memories. I had left reality long ago, and now I was too far gone.

This song had meant so much to me; the first verses of the song are tattooed on my left wrist.

“She was just a girl who expected the world--but it flew away from her reach, so she ran away in her sleep, and dreamed of paradise.”

It described me; it had described how I felt since the first time I heard it. The world had flown away from my reach--so now, I was running away. It all made perfect sense at that moment, when that song randomly came on, that this is what I’m destined for. I could never have paradise, so what's left for me to have?

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I drove down the old, secluded highway towards the bridge. Ten feet away from it, I parked my car and stumbled out. I took a deep breath of the fall air in, and made the rest of the journey on foot.

The song Paradise was still playing on my phone speakers. I had it on repeat because it had spoke to me now, and I needed it more at this moment than I ever had before.

My weary feet finally stepped onto the bridge. I leaned up against the side of it, running my fingers over the old, red metal. It was so beautiful; I loved it so very much. I stood there for a moment, staring off of it.

The drop was about 150 feet into shallow water bellow. I knew the consequences, [or what most would call the consequences], of jumping. But I fully embraced them.

I shakily climbed up the rusty metal railings like a ladder. I climbed up onto the top beam, almost falling off, but finding my balance at the last second. The loose pieces at the bottom of my dress were blowing in all directions; flying every which way. It was such a beautiful sight. It looked like I was in a movie; such a sight.

I held my arms straight out--It felt like I was floating; merely suspended in the air. I felt so at peace, so very calm. The wind was blowing against me, luckily not hard enough to knock me off. There was nothing to hold on to here; nothing to surround me now. There was barely anything to stand on, and it was then; at that moment, that I felt so free. For once in my life I was the only thing deciding my fate. I was the only thing existing in that space. My only friend and my only foe, was the wind.

I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes. It was time now…

Notes

This is a pretty dark chapter, and I'm sorry for that. I've actually dreamed this exact thing before; that's where I got the idea from. Suicide is such a freeing thought, but it's never the answer. I love you guys <3 hope you like this little insight into my life. To fully understand, and be able to picture it, here's an actually picture of the bridge:



If you want to look at more pictures, here's a bunch: http://bridgehunter.com/mo/johnson/blackwater-13/