I Guess Dreams Can Come True

We got back to the van and I laid down with my face into the pillow on the first open bunk I saw.

“So… what happened back there?” I heard Andy ask hesitantly.

“Nothing…” I said.

“Damn it, why won’t you just tell me?! I can help you, princess! I hate seeing you like this and not being able to help!” He said, frustrated.

“Will you go back to the party… please?” I asked him, trying to change the subject.

“You’re not going back to the party, that’ll make it worse on you.” He stated.

“I know. Not me, you. Go back, I just need to be alone right now…” I said lightly.

“No, I’m not leaving you alone like this.” He said.

“PLEASE, Andy! Just, please… that’ll make me feel better.” I said with tears in my eyes.

“I’ll be calling to make sure you’re okay… alright? And I’m coming home early from the party.” He huffed. I nodded, and watched him slowly leave the bus, turning around to say he loves me, and waving good bye. I counted to ten once I saw the door shut, and I got up and walked into our bedroom and pulled out my bag. I reached in and found what I was looking for. Tightly holding this pain killer in my hand I went into the bathroom and ran the bath until it was at the appropriate height of water. I walked over and looked into the mirror, and took off my shirt first.

“Unworthy.” I whispered to my reflection. I pulled off my pants now.

“Never good enough.” I said lightly. I took the rest off and looked in the mirror again and saw tears running down my face.

“Ugly.” I said with my jaw clenched and watched the tears roll down my face slowly. Instead I pulled on my bra and underpants I had on the night of my latest suicide attempt, and I sat down with a pen and paper. I started writing:

“This is it. I know, it’ll sting for the small amount of people who actually gave the smallest shit for me, but trust me, those tears with soon fade into happiness. You’ll soon realize that I was just another thing taking up precious air in this cruel, cruel world. I’m sorry you had to find out like this. And please don’t let this affect you in any way, shape, or form. I love you all.

Ashley- You could always make me laugh, keep that up for everyone else too please. And one day please settle down with a girl, it would be hard, but you’ll enjoy it once you make it there.

Jinxx- I hope you live a long life with Alex, and sorry I never got to ask more, I was just a little bit more focused on other things.

Jake- You’re the glue. You always kept everyone in order, keep that up, they all need you. Never leave them like I am, I know it’s selfish of me to do this, but I think it’s the only other option.

Cc- You made my day a lot more times than you can even imagine, keep doing that for someone else too.

Landon- I’m blaming you for this. I hope you burn in hell. You’re the biggest man whore I’ve ever met, you drove me to this sad fate of mine. And we both know how. Die.

Jade- I thought I could trust you. Let these words haunt you for the rest of your life.

James- You were like my second father, and I can never repay you for the kind way you’ve always treated me. I’ll miss you.

And lastly…

Andy- I love you so damn much, you’ll never be able to even count that high. Don’t blame yourself for this, you didn’t do this to me. Landon did. I hope you find another girl that you’ll love even more, you’ve always deserved someone even better than me. I love you. Goodbye, my Vic.”

I set down the note on the counter sink and grabbed this savior of mine.

“Hello, old friend.” I whispered as I stepped into the bathtub with the small razor in my hand. I sat down and help my wrist up. 1 cut. 2 cuts. 3 cuts, 4. Soon both of my wrists were a bloody mess and I started to nod my head because I was slowly dying from loss of blood.

“I love you, Andy.” I said lightly, then everything went black.

ANDY’S POV

I came in with the guys, all of us quite drunk.

“Kate?” I yelled, because I didn’t see her in the front area. Silence.

“Kate, babe?” I yelled again, still no response.

“I gotta take a piss.” Ashley said, walking towards the bathroom.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” I heard him yell.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“GET YOUR FUCKING ASS IN HERE, NOW!!!” He screamed.

“What the fuck do you want, I’m trying to find K-“ I said, jogging to the bathroom, then I saw it. My beautiful red head laying silently in the bathtub with blood surrounding every inch of water around her.

Notes