Picking up the broken pieces

The moment I stepped on the bus, I felt exhausted, but for whatever reason, I felt more at home than I ever had in the house I grew up in. "So I'll show you to your bunk, okay?" Ashley offered. "okay." I quietly replied, toting my bags along with me as he led me to a small room. "I sleep in here. There's two nightstands, and I don't need the second one so you can take it. There's shelves in your bunk for you to put things up, as well as outlets you can use." He informed. I simply nodded. "Um, I guess someone already went and bought you some stuff just in case...so there's razors, shaving cream, a brush, new makeup, some new clothes, shampoo and conditioner, and accessories. I recommend the Rhine stone star, or the hello kitty necklace." Ashley winked. I stared down at my feet. "Can...can I shower?" I asked nervously. "Of course! Towels are right in the closet. We all have separate towels." Ashley smiled, but I hardly glanced up. "Hey, uh...I'm not the best at comforting, but if I can do something to help, let me know. Or any of the guys for that matter." Ashley said before walking out. I got out all of my supplies in my bags and unpacked. The two bottom drawers on the dresser were mine, so I packed all my clothes into them, then grabbed my chargers and gently hoisted myself up onto the bed. It was actually very roomy. I couldn't wait to sleep in such a comfortable bed, as mine had consisted of a foam pad on a box spring back at home. I'd given Ally my mattress. The thought of her broke my heart all over again. I wouldn't let myself cry just yet though.

I grabbed my razor from my bag and made my way to the bathroom. I locked the door then immediately after turning on the hot water, I began to slash into my wrist and stomach and thighs, not caring anymore that it would just leave disgusting scars. I quickly got into the shower to avoid getting blood on the floor, then began where I left off. When I was finally done, I realized I'd blacked out. I had made worse cuts than I thought. They bled profusely, but I knew I hadn't hit a vein, as I knew how it looked when you hit a vein. I did it once when I was thirteen. I smiled emotionlessly down at the countless deep cuts on my thighs, as those were the worst. Then I slowly got up and washed myself off and washed my hair, then I sat down on the shower floor, too weak to move from the minor blood loss, but mostly because my depression was crippling. I'd never been this bad. Not even during high school. After I finally found a scrap of motivation to get my ass up, I slowly and painfully stood up, surprised to find that my cuts had stopped bleeding. I turned off the water and grabbed my razor and towel then shaved. After that I went back into Ashley's (and mine I guess) room. I discovered Ashley wasn't in the room, so I dropped my towel after locking the door. I quickly got dressed in plain black pajama pants and a batman tank top. I put on my Batman slippers then pulled Spooky out of what remained in my bag. I cuddled him tightly to my chest, and was surprised to smell Allison's sweet strawberry scent. Tears welled up in my eyes, and before I could stop them, they spilled over onto my cheeks. I couldn't stop, and so I sobbed hysterically, doing my best to keep silent. I just wanted everything to end, but with the guys being so nice, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I painfully climbed up onto my bed, only to start crying harder than I ever had. I just wanted to scream, but I couldn't even breath. It felt like a weight had settled on my chest, like a crushing force was not only making it so I literally couldn't get up or breath, but also sapped what tiny, and my tiny I mean microscopic, amount of energy I had, and I immediately passed out, clutching onto Spooky for dear life.

Notes

So I hope I can get more subscribers as well as votes. I would very much appreciate it! I'm not saying I'm not happy with what I have, in fact, I'm amazed at how much feedback I get! Thanks you guys, for supporting me! I love you guys! <3