We know our wings are flawed.
In The End
today seemed like a better day, Jake, CC, Ash, Andy and i were sitting around Jinxx's bed as the doctor had just told us Jinxx was starting to recover, he said his tests showed improvement in response. After the doctor had told us, all of us had started to see the brighter side and were already feeling a little less depressed.
"Isn't it great news" Andy said happily
"Indeed" i replied grinning
"I think we should all stay with jinxx later tonight" jake chimed in
to be honest it was a good idea, wow i think this is the most we have talked in the past 4 days. i felt slightly better knowing that Jinxx's condition had improved. i sat down in the seat next to andy, leaning on his shoulder and closing my eyes.
Suddenly a loud beeping noise filled my ears, my eyes shot open and Jinxx's heart rate monitor was beeping louder and faster with each beep. Jinxx's heart rate was dropping and fast. Jake ran into the hall way and shouted for the doctors and nurses at the top of his voice. About 10 doctors and nurses ran into the room.
"You all need to step our side, we need some space to do our job" said one of the doctors loudly. my eyes filled with tears, Andy got up and tried to pull me out of the room but i wouldn't budge, they were strapping lots of wires to jinxx and i hated this. Andy grabbed my waist but i fell to the floor trying to get closer to jinxx
"JINXX, JINXX DONT LEAVE ME" i screamed louder and louder
"we need to go" Andy said
"GET OFF ME, IM NOT LEAVING HIM" i screamed.
i carried on screaming his name louder and louder as Andy tried to pull me away, tears were streaming down my cheeks, id never been so upset. I couldn't leave him, not now, not ever. CC and Ash ran in and grabbed my legs to try and carry me out of the room, i fought so hard, kicking and screaming for them to let me go. It was no use, the were stronger than me. Then finally got the better of me, they put me down in the hallway and i immediately fell to the ground crying me eyes out. Andy helped me up and we all stood at the large glass window watching all the doctors helping jinxx, we could hear everything that was going on, my heart was in my hands.
After a long time of them trying to help jinxx, the monitor gave a long continuous beep, there was no motion after that, all the doctors had stopped and there was a long line across the screen but even i wasnt stupid enough to not know what that meant, the doctor came out of the room along with all the others.
"Im sorry.... we did everything we could...i" the doctor said sadly. at that point i had heard enough and had fell the floor crying, andy knelt down next to me to cuddled me, he had nothing to say as he knew it was over. We were all crying hard and the guys knew that there was no point trying to hide it as it was over.
Andy picked me back up and grabbed my waist as we headed back into the room to say our goodbies, CC went first.
"Jinxx, we had so many great times and adventures together, you were an amazing guitar player and one of my best friends and you will never be forgotton" he said grabbing Jinxx's hand.
Ash went next
"Hey buddy, you were my party animal and my one of my best friend, we have awesome memories together that will never be forgotten, i love you man, have fun up there"
Jake followed
Jinxx you meant the world to me, you were there for me through thick and thin and i cant thank you enough, you will always be in my heart, thanks for the memories and i love you buddy"
Andy got up
Jinxx, you will always be one of the most amazing people i have ever met, you will always be in my heart and we had some amazing times and without you i wouldn't be the andy i am today, i love you bro, you are one of my best friends"
It was my turn, i took a deep breath and got up, tears streaming down cheeks.
"Jinxx, you have always been my inspiration, you saved my life and kept me from the darkness. you were the love of my life, i will never love anyone the way i loved you, you were my soulmate and you will never die in my heart. thank you for everything, i love you so much" i said kissing his hand.
-------------------
We stood there in there in the pouring rain,our black umbrellas above our head, dressed all in my black, tissues at hand and roses in our hands. we all stood together, holding onto one another. watching as the coffin was lowered deeper into the ground, we closed our eyes and pictured jinxx standing above us smiling. The coffin read, "Jinxx beloved guitar player of Black Veil Brides, gone but never forgotton".
Our tears dropped onto to our clothes, when the coffin had reached the bottom we took turns the throw in our red roses, i stepped forward
"i love you jinxx" i whispered and threw in my rose, we all sighed as me, jake, Andy, CC and Ash, linked eachother and walked away holding our heads high.
"Hes gone but never forgotton, he will always be in our hearts.
We know our wings are flawed" i whispered
'Cause Its the end and im not affraid to die!
"Isn't it great news" Andy said happily
"Indeed" i replied grinning
"I think we should all stay with jinxx later tonight" jake chimed in
to be honest it was a good idea, wow i think this is the most we have talked in the past 4 days. i felt slightly better knowing that Jinxx's condition had improved. i sat down in the seat next to andy, leaning on his shoulder and closing my eyes.
Suddenly a loud beeping noise filled my ears, my eyes shot open and Jinxx's heart rate monitor was beeping louder and faster with each beep. Jinxx's heart rate was dropping and fast. Jake ran into the hall way and shouted for the doctors and nurses at the top of his voice. About 10 doctors and nurses ran into the room.
"You all need to step our side, we need some space to do our job" said one of the doctors loudly. my eyes filled with tears, Andy got up and tried to pull me out of the room but i wouldn't budge, they were strapping lots of wires to jinxx and i hated this. Andy grabbed my waist but i fell to the floor trying to get closer to jinxx
"JINXX, JINXX DONT LEAVE ME" i screamed louder and louder
"we need to go" Andy said
"GET OFF ME, IM NOT LEAVING HIM" i screamed.
i carried on screaming his name louder and louder as Andy tried to pull me away, tears were streaming down my cheeks, id never been so upset. I couldn't leave him, not now, not ever. CC and Ash ran in and grabbed my legs to try and carry me out of the room, i fought so hard, kicking and screaming for them to let me go. It was no use, the were stronger than me. Then finally got the better of me, they put me down in the hallway and i immediately fell to the ground crying me eyes out. Andy helped me up and we all stood at the large glass window watching all the doctors helping jinxx, we could hear everything that was going on, my heart was in my hands.
After a long time of them trying to help jinxx, the monitor gave a long continuous beep, there was no motion after that, all the doctors had stopped and there was a long line across the screen but even i wasnt stupid enough to not know what that meant, the doctor came out of the room along with all the others.
"Im sorry.... we did everything we could...i" the doctor said sadly. at that point i had heard enough and had fell the floor crying, andy knelt down next to me to cuddled me, he had nothing to say as he knew it was over. We were all crying hard and the guys knew that there was no point trying to hide it as it was over.
Andy picked me back up and grabbed my waist as we headed back into the room to say our goodbies, CC went first.
"Jinxx, we had so many great times and adventures together, you were an amazing guitar player and one of my best friends and you will never be forgotton" he said grabbing Jinxx's hand.
Ash went next
"Hey buddy, you were my party animal and my one of my best friend, we have awesome memories together that will never be forgotten, i love you man, have fun up there"
Jake followed
Jinxx you meant the world to me, you were there for me through thick and thin and i cant thank you enough, you will always be in my heart, thanks for the memories and i love you buddy"
Andy got up
Jinxx, you will always be one of the most amazing people i have ever met, you will always be in my heart and we had some amazing times and without you i wouldn't be the andy i am today, i love you bro, you are one of my best friends"
It was my turn, i took a deep breath and got up, tears streaming down cheeks.
"Jinxx, you have always been my inspiration, you saved my life and kept me from the darkness. you were the love of my life, i will never love anyone the way i loved you, you were my soulmate and you will never die in my heart. thank you for everything, i love you so much" i said kissing his hand.
-------------------
We stood there in there in the pouring rain,our black umbrellas above our head, dressed all in my black, tissues at hand and roses in our hands. we all stood together, holding onto one another. watching as the coffin was lowered deeper into the ground, we closed our eyes and pictured jinxx standing above us smiling. The coffin read, "Jinxx beloved guitar player of Black Veil Brides, gone but never forgotton".
Our tears dropped onto to our clothes, when the coffin had reached the bottom we took turns the throw in our red roses, i stepped forward
"i love you jinxx" i whispered and threw in my rose, we all sighed as me, jake, Andy, CC and Ash, linked eachother and walked away holding our heads high.
"Hes gone but never forgotton, he will always be in our hearts.
We know our wings are flawed" i whispered
'Cause Its the end and im not affraid to die!
I'm crying. :'(
10/21/14