six feet under the stars

By the time I had calmed down enough to go back home it was late. The memories from earlier that day trailing at the edges of my wiped out memory. Andy held me like a child held its favorite stuffed animal.
When the door opened a flash of red grabbed me. It was Delilah. She seemed smaller than usual. And her hair was no longer the Technicolor that anyone would have loved. But this red, it made her look younger, maybe even her real age. Maybe we were all changing for the better.

She let go and looked me in the eye. She wasn't the girl to pass for eighteen anymore. Her lack of makeup made her look tenish and I suppose I never noticed she wore heels. because suddenly she was just and inch over me. And her eyes. They still looked like midnight. But instead of the silent innocence in them, it was an age old wisdom. This could be Delilah, but it also may have been someone else.

Andy said hello to Alex and Wendy , complemented delilahs new hair color and then left to go to the studio. They had started a new album, or where starting one.

I went to lay down. It had been a long day and I just wanted it over.i opened the door. I wish I hadn't.
All I could do was drink in the scene and read the words scraped into delilah's skin.
forgotten.
a flash of silver shone and dropped to the floor.
undesired
A soft clatter on the hard wooden floor of her half of the room.
unwanted
wide eyes of an innocent girl as she scrambled for her shirt
Hated
streams of red liquid falling in beautiful patterns around her waist.
Die - lillah

Her arms wrapped around me much like they did at the front door. Only this time less for a hello or love but more of a keep me from running off way.

Die -lillah
she pulled me into the room and slammed the door.

Die - lillah
"what are you doing here. Aren't you supposed to be talking with Andy"
Die-lillah

The word was written only once but it echoed in my head like the last words mia said. "Andy." It came out in such a tiny whisper from my mouth but I heard it and so did she. All the sorrow and pity and hate and tears and protection.
Die-lillah
"no. No. NO. You can't tell him it will only destroy him shh. No don't cry. Give me your phone." Concern laced her voice but I couldn't tell if it was for herself or me. I gripped my phone tighter.
Die-lillah
she ripped it out of my hand and threw it across the room. She held on to me as I finally whispered the word that seemed to not stop being heard.
“Die-lillah."
she hiccuped a little before she said the only thing that could ever make sense in this place. "Delilah means desirable. But I'm not. He wasn't in the hospital. He doesn't love me." And tears ran down her face as she sunk to the floor. "Die lillah is the only thing that makes sense." Her hands slowly slid to her face "my name can't mean desirable. I know there are tons of people who want or need me but the one that matters doesn't. He thinks I killed her. Unloved. UNWANTED. DIE-LILLAH!!!!" She sobbed
"he does love you maybe he didn't know." My voice left me at her next words
"he knew he had his secretary call to make sure I was out of the hospital now. Not to see if I was ok just making sure he wasn't wasting money. I spent my life looking for something I couldn't have and you did and you threw it out because maybe they didn't want to stay. You have a family that loves you. I have people making sure I'm not dead in an ally. Here's a lesson for people like you and your sister and brother 'love till its gone because sooner or later nobody will know that you did'" her sobbing got worse. She was no longer sitting but laying down and shaking.
"he cried today. Andy I mean, he has been beating himself up that he wasn't there when you needed him most. He says he failed at keeping the thing he loved most from getting hurt. And I know its true. He sat up all night watching you while you where at the hospital. He cried when he saw that you where broken. He held on to you so tight when you finally passed out that night." I got down to her level kneeling and helped her sit up. " he was afraid that you would hate him. He can't believe you told him to come with me after that night. He wrote you song. I know because he whispered lyrics as we walked." I wiped away her tears. "So here's my lesson for people like you. Not everyone will be there for you. But remember stars shine brightest just before they explode." I hugged her untill her tears stopped.
I looked out the window. It was almost night fall. I had an idea. I picked up my phone and called justin who was getting better at speech. I told him what I had planned then grabbed my jacket. Delilahs jacket. And an extra hoodie for caution. "Come on doll, I want to show you something." I reached out my hand and she took it. I pulled her outside just as the cab came to a stop by the front of the house.
Sometimes showing the world who you are means making someone else see who you are first.

Notes

Longest chapter yet I believe but idk I don't read this you guys to :-) so tell me what you think.