Arranged marriage to a Jerk (Andy Biersack love story.) (On Hold editing and whatnot)
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Day two of warped tour. You could say i was not eager too go back, but thank god it is the last for me. Yes Andrew was mad and i left him alone in a stall bathroom with his heads in his head. I really love him, i mean i do. But he is not the guy i want to be with. I am so confused its not even funny. Who am i to be such prude and get to have three guys fighting for me. I am not that perfect, and i am not that special. So why me? Why in gods name would three guys love me. I just can't figure it out.
Rick: My first love. My first everything. My first kiss. He was the one who my broke my virginity and he was the one i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. needless to say Rick Nathans was perfect. he was too perfect for me.
Andrew: My last... or so i thought. Even though it was an arrange marriage, i still deveolped feelings for the man, i can't hide nor do i want to but its just hard to love a man who was already loved by so, so many people. People saying he saved their lives, how can i compare to a man who saves people, and no not with his hands but sure enough with his mouth and lyrics. Yes i have to admit he was- well he is amazing in bed, he is freaking fantastic i can't deny that, nor would i deny that was feeling guilty that i went behind his back and kissed some other dude....
Alex: One day, just one freaking day and someone bound me, not the object of my affection. Alex was indeed the perfect guy he was Rick but also he was Andy. Sweet loving and not to mention a lot of fun. There is Rick. Kissing, touching and maybe even pressing, there was Andy.
I am confused and i am depressed. I went on my promise and i loved a man who would never love me, yet again i went down and cheated on the man who was my husband. I feel horrible but at the same time i feel hurt. Hurt can define a lot of things but i can't define mine. I can't define what the hell i am feeling and i can't even describe what i am craving for.
I thought i was over it, Over the crazy idea that i would be in love with a rock star. Indeed that was my dream, i wanted to be the girlfriend of a hot rock star with fans screaming his name even though i would be screaming in bed his name as well. Kinda ironic. Easy how God can take something else away and give you what you actually want... but with a price of course.
I don't know who i am anymore, i don't reconize myself in the mirror, all i see is a white canvas with strokes of multiple colors on it. Some black, some blue, some red some green, All of the signs plastered on my body. Black for Andy, blue for Alex, red for lust and green for jealousy. A person that i ignored, the person i never wanted to become. A slut.
So what do i do, what do little Ally Cooper do in a time of hard, tiring and a misguided situation. She run. But this i can't because i have something to fight for. Even if i know that fight was a losing battle. Even if i know the tears on my cheek is just points for empathy.
What do i do? Or more importantly how do i do it? How do i find myself again without getting lost again?
Rick: My first love. My first everything. My first kiss. He was the one who my broke my virginity and he was the one i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. needless to say Rick Nathans was perfect. he was too perfect for me.
Andrew: My last... or so i thought. Even though it was an arrange marriage, i still deveolped feelings for the man, i can't hide nor do i want to but its just hard to love a man who was already loved by so, so many people. People saying he saved their lives, how can i compare to a man who saves people, and no not with his hands but sure enough with his mouth and lyrics. Yes i have to admit he was- well he is amazing in bed, he is freaking fantastic i can't deny that, nor would i deny that was feeling guilty that i went behind his back and kissed some other dude....
Alex: One day, just one freaking day and someone bound me, not the object of my affection. Alex was indeed the perfect guy he was Rick but also he was Andy. Sweet loving and not to mention a lot of fun. There is Rick. Kissing, touching and maybe even pressing, there was Andy.
I am confused and i am depressed. I went on my promise and i loved a man who would never love me, yet again i went down and cheated on the man who was my husband. I feel horrible but at the same time i feel hurt. Hurt can define a lot of things but i can't define mine. I can't define what the hell i am feeling and i can't even describe what i am craving for.
I thought i was over it, Over the crazy idea that i would be in love with a rock star. Indeed that was my dream, i wanted to be the girlfriend of a hot rock star with fans screaming his name even though i would be screaming in bed his name as well. Kinda ironic. Easy how God can take something else away and give you what you actually want... but with a price of course.
I don't know who i am anymore, i don't reconize myself in the mirror, all i see is a white canvas with strokes of multiple colors on it. Some black, some blue, some red some green, All of the signs plastered on my body. Black for Andy, blue for Alex, red for lust and green for jealousy. A person that i ignored, the person i never wanted to become. A slut.
So what do i do, what do little Ally Cooper do in a time of hard, tiring and a misguided situation. She run. But this i can't because i have something to fight for. Even if i know that fight was a losing battle. Even if i know the tears on my cheek is just points for empathy.
What do i do? Or more importantly how do i do it? How do i find myself again without getting lost again?
Notes
Hey guys boring chapter i know but you had to know what she was thinking and what she will be doing.
Well im obsessed
3/27/16