Arranged marriage to a Jerk (Andy Biersack love story.) (On Hold editing and whatnot)
32
"Would you drop me off at work please." I whisper softly gazing out of the window. I don't know why I accepted a ride from him.
"Okay. When are you coming home. How are we going to figure this shit out if we're not even living in the same house." I turn to him with a slight pout. "Answer me." He says softly. His eyes on the road and than back to me.
"Than what? Go back to ignoring each other. You being a control freak and I don't know try to control me?"
The car stopped sending me forward. He turned his body towards me with narrowed eyes. "Alyssa, Listen, I'm bossy. I can't help it. It's who I am and what I do. I'm pushy and I like to take over. But I'm going to work really hard not to do so much and your going to try and accept me the way I am. Flaws and all. Because I'm good in bed and I can carry heavy things and reach all the high shelves."
I just rolled my eyes clicking my tongue against my teeth. "I am going to Paris this weekend with my boss. I will move back in after I come home."
"You sly, sly little minx. Monday I am leaving for Warped tour."
Huh. I am. I did not even know. "Oh."
"Oh?" He snapped. "I will be gone for six weeks."
"I promised I will come visit you." I bit the inside of my cheek. "And I always keep my promises."
"Like the promise you kept to yourself that you will never love me?"
I gulp hard feeling a huge lump in my throat; not knowing what to say to that question. "Can- can we please just go." I whimper holding the tears back with all I have got.
"Answer me please." He commanded softly.
I deserved the shaking and the headaches and the fact that every single time I took a breath I felt a squeezing in my chest, my heart beating even though I wished it wasn't. "I can't i - you make me feel..." I had to stop. Not because i didn't have words. I did. But I was afraid to say them. He looked at me, and I knew then I could love him. "Please just- I need get back to work Andy."
"Right." He laugh. "Why am I asking you this. You don't know what love is."
My eyes grew wide and felt a urge of pain spreading across my body. "I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you, that's love for me, what is it for you cause Dr. Howell was right. You are emotional robot." I opened the car door and climbed out. "I can take a taxi." I slam the door shut walking the other direction. There tears begin to drop and this time I did not stop it.
--------------------
I slump on my chair ready to finalize my papers when I slowly looked up to see the picture frame of me and Andy. "You fucking idiot." I whisper to myself.
Looks like the universe wants me to love this man. But I just need one sign that this love I am feeling is stupid.
I flip open the page of the manuscript of a young writer named Neil Gein. I lick my lips starting to read trough.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and
leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the
imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets- inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love
I gulp hard as tears flow down my cheek. "Oh wow."
"Okay. When are you coming home. How are we going to figure this shit out if we're not even living in the same house." I turn to him with a slight pout. "Answer me." He says softly. His eyes on the road and than back to me.
"Than what? Go back to ignoring each other. You being a control freak and I don't know try to control me?"
The car stopped sending me forward. He turned his body towards me with narrowed eyes. "Alyssa, Listen, I'm bossy. I can't help it. It's who I am and what I do. I'm pushy and I like to take over. But I'm going to work really hard not to do so much and your going to try and accept me the way I am. Flaws and all. Because I'm good in bed and I can carry heavy things and reach all the high shelves."
I just rolled my eyes clicking my tongue against my teeth. "I am going to Paris this weekend with my boss. I will move back in after I come home."
"You sly, sly little minx. Monday I am leaving for Warped tour."
Huh. I am. I did not even know. "Oh."
"Oh?" He snapped. "I will be gone for six weeks."
"I promised I will come visit you." I bit the inside of my cheek. "And I always keep my promises."
"Like the promise you kept to yourself that you will never love me?"
I gulp hard feeling a huge lump in my throat; not knowing what to say to that question. "Can- can we please just go." I whimper holding the tears back with all I have got.
"Answer me please." He commanded softly.
I deserved the shaking and the headaches and the fact that every single time I took a breath I felt a squeezing in my chest, my heart beating even though I wished it wasn't. "I can't i - you make me feel..." I had to stop. Not because i didn't have words. I did. But I was afraid to say them. He looked at me, and I knew then I could love him. "Please just- I need get back to work Andy."
"Right." He laugh. "Why am I asking you this. You don't know what love is."
My eyes grew wide and felt a urge of pain spreading across my body. "I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you, that's love for me, what is it for you cause Dr. Howell was right. You are emotional robot." I opened the car door and climbed out. "I can take a taxi." I slam the door shut walking the other direction. There tears begin to drop and this time I did not stop it.
--------------------
I slump on my chair ready to finalize my papers when I slowly looked up to see the picture frame of me and Andy. "You fucking idiot." I whisper to myself.
Looks like the universe wants me to love this man. But I just need one sign that this love I am feeling is stupid.
I flip open the page of the manuscript of a young writer named Neil Gein. I lick my lips starting to read trough.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and
leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the
imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets- inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love
I gulp hard as tears flow down my cheek. "Oh wow."
Well im obsessed
3/27/16