Aftermath of the Last Kiss

After the second scare with his daughter’s life, Andy’d decided that it was best if he homeschool her, and thankfully, Legacy agreed. She’d been terrified out of her wits that she was going to die that day, that she was going to be reunited with her mama far too soon, and couldn’t handle the stress of being around other people anymore. Thankfully, she could tolerate being around the guys, their women, and their kids, but otherwise, she wanted nothing to do with the majority of humanity.

On more than one occasion after she’d finished her schoolwork for the day after he started homeschooling her, he caught her talking to her old imaginary friend when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. He still fought not to cry at hearing his beloved Outlaw’s old nickname, but managed to hide how much it hurt from her. He was still amazed that he was able to do that, but brushed the shock aside.

The conversations she held with this imaginary friend were wise and mature beyond her years, and he couldn’t help but wonder how old they were supposed to be. When he asked her at dinner one night, Legacy told him that Ash was forty-one, and he nearly choked on the milk he was drinking. That was the same age his sweetheart would’ve been this year, had he survived the stabbing that’d taken him from them. Immediately concerned about her daddy, she jumped up from her seat and ran around the table, clapping him on the back as he coughed, mimicking the motions he used when she was choking.

“Are you okay, Daddy?” she asked, concern in her eyes.

“I-I’m fine, Princess,” Andy choked out, taking a deep breath.

“I made you choke,” she said, her lower lip trembling.

“Hey, hey.” He gently wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. “You did not make me choke. Your imaginary friend’s age just surprised me, is all.”

“Why? Can’t I have an imaginary friend older than you?” Legacy asked.

“I never said that.” He took another deep breath to calm himself. “It surprised me because, if your mama were still here, he’d have been forty-one this year.”

“Really?” She looked shocked.

“Yeah. Your mama would’ve turned forty-one on January twenty-eighth.” He nodded at her. “You know how memories of him can be for me sometimes.”

“Sorry, Daddy. I wasn’t trying to upset you.” She snuggled against his chest.

“You didn’t upset Daddy, Princess,” Andy assured her. “Yeah, I still miss your mama—more than I can possibly say—but it’s gotten easier to live with.”

Legacy stayed in his lap until they finished eating, he having reached across the table to grab her plate, but he caught her gaze drifting to the chair next to where she’d been sitting. It was almost as if there really was someone sitting there, not just her imaginary friend, because he felt like someone was there watching him. He shook off the feeling and finished his food, gently patting her rear so she’d go take her bath while he cleaned up the kitchen and dining room.

“Ashes…if you’re there, I want you to show yourself.” He waited as he loaded the dishwasher, but nothing happened. “I guess you’re not really here…whatever. If you are, quit fucking with mine and Legacy’s heads. I know you used to love doing that to people, but it’s not funny now. I can’t take much more of her telling me stories of how she and ‘Ash’ have so much fun together.”

“Daddy, who are you talking to?”

Startled, he whirled around to face his daughter. “No one, Princess. Just talking to myself as I try to remember everything I’ve gotta do tomorrow.”

“Okay, Daddy.” Legacy gave him a skeptical look. “I’ll be in my room waiting for you to tuck me in.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Andy answered, nodding as he closed the dishwasher door. “Sonofabitch. I’m gonna get called crazy eventually for thinking my dead husband is still hanging around.”

He shook his head and started the machine, then turned off the lights in each room he passed through as he headed to his daughter’s room. Like a good girl, she was already laying in her bed, holding her favorite old Hello Kitty plushie close to her, waiting patiently for him to come tuck her in. He made sure the covers were pulled almost up to her chin, tucking them around her just so before brushing her hair back and kissing her temple. Legacy sighed softly as her eyes fluttered shut, and he turned off her lamp as he left her room, leaving the door cracked as he’d done all her life.

Once in the master bedroom, he stripped down so he could take a quick shower before he went to bed himself. He felt a presence lingering around him once again, and it almost felt loving, comforting, much like Ash’s presence had been before his death when he was in a foul mood. With a growl, he turned to glare at the doorway, staring at the closed mahogany panel as he waited for any sign that his beloved Outlaw’s spirit was really there. When he got no response of any kind, not even his lamp being turned off, he huffed and turned back for the bathroom, deciding that he must be paranoid and finally losing his sanity. Those thoughts unsettled him as he showered and went to bed, Ash’s pillow cuddled close to him and his hand wrapped around his favorite necklace, the same one that still held his sweetheart’s wedding set after all these years.



“Mmm. Mama? Is that you?”

Legacy’s eyes fluttered open and she sat up, rubbing her eyes sleepily as she looked across the room to where she thought she’d heard something rustling. Sitting in the chair before her desk was her mama’s slightly transparent, angelic form, his wings tucked against his back. They still appeared to be covered in silver glitter, which was highlighted by the full moon’s light, along with the silver halo glowing over his head.

“Yeah, sugar. It’s Mama,” he answered, smiling as he rose. “How’ve you been?”

“Better, ever since Daddy started homeschooling me,” she answered, returning his smile. “You look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.”

“Awww, you’re just as sweet as your daddy.” Ash blushed, his cheeks tinting themselves pink.

“He says I get it from you.” Legacy gently poked his belly right over his “OUTLAW” tattoo.

“Stop it, Legacy!” he giggled, squirming away. “That tickles!”

“Oh, you just made a mistake, Mama!” She lunged at him, tickling his ribs furiously.

“That’s it! Prepare for payback!”

With a soft squeal, she allowed herself to be tackled backward by her mama, to be tickled until she couldn’t breathe. Ash finally stopped and soothed her by rubbing her back, grinning down at her as his chocolate-brown eyes sparkled with laughter. He soon tucked her back in and brushed her hair out of her face, something her daddy always did, as he sang her to sleep. The song he sang was one her daddy’d said their band recorded years ago called Saviour, and its beautiful melody soon lulled her back to sleep.



Ash watched as his daughter’s eyes fluttered shut and sleep overcame her once again, smiling serenely down on her peaceful form. He knew that Andy was becoming more and more aware of his presence, that visiting their daughter was getting risky, but he couldn’t show himself. After making that vow, the one where he swore not to reveal his presence until after he’d told their daughter the story of how they met and what’d happened to him, he’d sealed his fate. He’d tried revealing himself to his beloved Batman several times, to no avail, ever since making that stupid vow.

He sighed heavily as he rose from the edge of her bed, imagining the room he’d once shared with his husband once again. The next time he opened his eyes, he found himself standing by their bed, watching Andy as he tried to fall asleep. His arms were wrapped around his old pillow, his hand wrapped around his old wedding set where it hung from his necklace.

“Ashes, if you’re there, show me some kind of sign,” he demanded sadly, sounding like he didn’t really believe he was there.

The bassist focused hard, trying to break whatever spell his old vow had woven. Moments later, his husband’s old Batman plushie rose from where it sat on the dresser across the room and floated over to the bed, settling itself in his arms as if he’d handed it to him to go to sleep. Andy’s icy-blue eyes widened in shock as he grabbed the old toy, one he hadn’t touched since the night he’d died almost a decade ago. It warmed his heart to know that he was beginning to realize that he really was there.

“Did you do that, Outlaw?” he breathed in shock.

“Yes, Andy!” Ash screamed at the top of his lungs, hoping he heard him. “It was me! I’m still here, and I have been all along!”

Andy apparently couldn’t see or hear him still, because he grumbled under his breath. “Great. My old Batman plushie just grew wings and flew. No, I’m not crazy at all,” he muttered sarcastically.

“I fucking give up!” The bassist threw his hands in the air in defeat, gasping when he heard something shatter across the room.

His husband’s gaze was drawn to whatever had shattered, apparently an old framed ultrasound picture from when he was pregnant with their daughter. “Sonofabitch. Now I’ve gotta get a new frame for that.”

Sensing that his husband wasn’t even aware of his presence, Ash huffed and imagined the corner of their old office that he recharged in. He didn’t dare try to blow off steam by attempting to play one of his old basses; even if he knew for sure that he could even pick it up, a floating bass would scare the daylights out of Andy and Legacy if they caught him. Well, their daughter wouldn’t be freaked out since she could see, hear, and communicate with him, but his husband surely would.

He decided that he was just going to hang out in his chosen corner and not attempt communicating with anyone who knew he was still there, not even his daughter. Yeah, he was sulking a bit, even though his spirit was technically forty-one and knew better, but he couldn’t help it. He’d spent so many years watching Andy try to keep himself together without knowing he was there that he couldn’t stand it anymore. Ash hoped he told Legacy the story he needed to soon, that way his old vow would be broken by the conditions he’d placed upon it, and he could show himself to him.

Eventually, the spiritual, angelic sleep that his spirit faded into when he was in serious need of recharging overcame him, and he drifted off. He felt his cloud of a bed cradling his weightless form, and his subconscious knew that he was in his knew home in the lair of the fallen angels. Ash didn’t care, though; it was the best thing for him right now since the one he wanted to know of his presence didn’t and never had.

Notes