I cut myself with knives and pens

Rhian's POV
"I HATE YOU!" I heard my mum screaming at my dad, right before he slapped her. That was just the start of it. My mother started screaming and through a kettle at my father, that just made it worse. He beat her, that was the first time I had ever seen my dad beat my mother. I was four and just sat there in the door way.
I didn't cry, I couldn't. I don't know why.

fast forward. I am 5 and sat on my own at school, drawing pictures in my notebook. I drew monsters and demons. I sketched a picture of Satan dragging my father to hell. I drew a picture of my mother crawled up crying and taking her anger out on me. I drew a monster holding my hand when under my bed. I drew a picture of demons coming out from under the bed and dragging me with them. Some girls then walked over to me and stole my notebook. The memories were blurred but I can remember being pushed and having my hair pulled. I remember being pushed to the floor so I run up to one of them and start biting her until she screamed. That's when the teacher ran up to us and yelled at me.
It was then that I started hating school.

My mind was then transported to...well my mind. I was looking inside my mind at all my memories and was being forced to relive them

fast forward, Im 6 years old and I haven't eaten in a week. I was starving, lying on my bedroom floor cold. This was my first panic attack! I remember trying to catch my breathe, breathing heavily. I remember my heart beating so fast I thought it was going to beat out of my chest, I thought I was dying! I felt the seat trickle down my face, my body was shaking uncontrollably. I felt sick and my chest felt really tight. That was one of the worst memories of my life.

Im seven years old, hiding under my bed, reading my book. Suddenly I hear a big bang. Daddys home from the pub. I turned my torch off and waited under my bed in total darkness. I saw my bedroom door open, my Dad was in here. He tore through my wardrobe and my bedding before he finally found me. He dragged me from under the bed and pinned me to the wall
"Don't you hide from Daddy" he whispered in my ear.
No make these memories stop!

Im 10 years old and have been moved to a childrens home. I hated it. I didn't get along with the other kids and I was always getting into trouble.

Im 12 years old and have just moved to America with my new foster parents. Theyre very strict. No hair dye, no piercings, no drinking EVER, long skirts, no crop tops, long shorts and no heels and most of all no makeup.
I slowly learnt ways to get around these rules. When I left the house to go to school, I would go into shop and buy makeup with my lunch money and put it on in the changing rooms. I would role my skirt up when at school and my friends always brought drinks in. I payed some money towards it so they would give me some. I also pierced my own ears and nose and covered them with the makeup I had brought.

13 years of age, I fell to the floor and felt the blood trickle down my cheek. I had boot marks on my stomach and blood spread over my body. I was being bullied again.

14 years old.
I had my first boyfriend. Surprise. Im usually the girl boys avoid, but this one boy had made an interest in me. We went to his house were we play fighted and he pinned me down by my shoulders till I yelled "you win, you win, get off me" But he didn't. He didn't get off. No! I cant! I cant do it! I can see it! Hes raping me!

15 years old
After that experience, I never payed any interst in boys. I stayed away from them. I only concentrated on school. And friends, the few I had. I was always doing well at school, but that didn't help me against the bullies.

17 years old
I became the school slut. I was literally sleeping with every person I could. Didn't help, I was still the girl no one liked. Boys only use me because I was easy.

19 years old
I met, James. My whole life changed. I as still selfharming and suicidal but this isn't actually a bad memory

21 years old
Im at the club, I start dancing when, no! Not this Again! Its James and that slut, whatever her name is. He looked right into my eyes and I couldn't see an ounce of love. No, he does love me! Does he? I was in the bathroom, bleeding all over my body. Why? I do love him! HE LOVES ME!
Wait something else is happening, other than what actually happened. Theres someone watching me, all the way through my memories, something.....scary! It was like a demon or something. I could only see it in the corner of my mind. But it was definitely there! I cant, I cant...

Notes

Sorry its been a while, I hope you like
So a few questions Id like to ask (some abot the story and some not)
1. Whats your favourite chapter so far?
2. Whos your favourite character?
3. Whats your favourite BVB song?
4. Whos your fave member?
5. apart form this, what other stories are you reading?
6. how do you think the band are going to come back into the story?
7. what do you think will or should happen next?
8. are you still enjoying the story (please be honest, I wont take offence to hate)