Unconventional Love

After returning from their excursion to the stream, getting dried off, and changed into dry clothes, Andy and Ash joined Chris and Amy in the smaller of the two dining rooms for a more informal supper. The bigger of the two rooms was only used when they had guests over or were throwing a party, something they hadn’t felt the need to do, as of yet. Despite their only child getting married, the Biersacks had held off on throwing a party to announce such a thing to the world because of how much settling in the young boy had to do.

Now the pair had retired to their suite, where Ash was practicing a simple song his husband had been teaching him on piano while the young man bathed. The door to their private water closet was closed, more so for his sake than Andy’s, and he couldn’t help the sigh of relief that’d left his lips a few short minutes ago.

He was still nervous about consummating their marriage, knowing that in the eyes of the law, the union wasn’t legal until they’d done so. Then again, if ever it was found out that he was male, it still wouldn’t be legal, no matter how many times they retreated to their marriage bed. That thought was a downer, if ever there was one, but the thought that he was neglecting his husband by denying the relief of a simple need was an even bigger downer.

All he could blame that on was simply being scared of being joined with him, no matter how intimate the setting. He knew without anyone having to tell him that since he was male, they wouldn’t fit together quite the same way that a traditional couple would. After all, he had only one penetrable orifice aside from his mouth, and he was far from stupid. He might be innocent and naïve, as all people were until they gained life experience, but stupid was one of the things he wasn’t. His biggest fear was that, even if he didn’t mean to, Andy would hurt him worse than their first time was bound to hurt.

“I am done now, my love,” his husband’s voice said softly, startling him since he was right behind him.

“Oh!” he gasped, stopping mid-song to clap a hand to his chest.

“I am sorry, Ashes,” Andy said softly, gently nuzzling his temple. “I did not mean to startle you.”

“It is fine, Andy,” the young boy answered, leaning into his touch. “I know you did not mean to.”

“Go bathe and get yourself completely clean,” he told him. “I will get your night gown out and leave it on the washstand.”

Ash blushed as he nodded, still not completely comfortable with the young man seeing him nude. Again, that was one of the things that he could only blame on being young and naïve, having never had a lover or been married before. He couldn’t help the way he reacted sometimes, and it wouldn’t change until after they became intimate.

Sighing softly as he watched him close the water closet door, Andy turned for their bedchamber to do as he’d said he would. Not being intimate with the boy he’d married was starting to get to him, but he’d sworn he wouldn’t touch him, nor force him into anything before he was ready. It was a vow, if only to himself, that he meant to keep, which was why he was planning on going down to the barn before his bride emerged from his bath. He couldn’t take another night of sharing a bed with him with no intimacy, but didn’t want to hurt him.

Once he’d left the night gown on the washstand, he headed downstairs in his nightshirt, a pair of pants pulled on under it, to let his parents know where he was going. They understood without him having to go into detail why he was sleeping in the barn and merely nodded their assent, saying they’d keep an ear out for Ash and make sure he was all right. Andy thanked them and grabbed a spare lantern before heading outside.

In the barn, he climbed up to the hayloft, knowing his bride would be too scared to climb the ladder if he decided to search him out. He could hear the horses nickering softly beneath him as he got as comfortable as possible in the hay before blowing the lantern out. The last thing he needed was to set the barn ablaze and not only lose his life, but kill the animals and burn down everything on the property. He sighed as he rolled onto his side, his manhood swollen and throbbing painfully, begging for release. It killed him to know that, while he desired his bride, the young boy was too afraid of intimacy for him to show his love.

“In a way, I wish he weren’t a virgin when we married,” Andy groaned, deciding that he needed to take care of his “problem”. “We’ll get to that point…eventually.”

* * *

After getting himself dried off and dressed, Ash exited the water closet and headed toward the bedchamber so he could cuddle with his husband. He’d gotten so used to cuddling with him as he slept that he found if he had to come to bed later than usual for any reason, he was unable to sleep until he did so.

In fact, despite his virginal fear of intimacy with him, cuddling with Andy was one of the things he looked forward to after rising for the day. His presence made him feel safe, like nothing in the world would ever hurt him again. He enjoyed feeling those strong arms wrap around him while holding him close, that strong torso under his head as he listened to the lullaby his heartbeat sang to him every night. The warmth he also shared with him, especially on the nights that it got chilly, was also a major plus.

When he got to the bedchamber, he was expecting to find the young man already in bed, possibly reading by the light of the lantern if he wasn’t already asleep. However, their bed was still perfectly made, looking as if it’d never been slept in. Knowing he had a habit of growing his own tobacco to smoke, Ash thought he might’ve gone outside for one of the cigarettes he rolled and decided to check.

“Andy?” he asked softly, peeking out the back door. He usually stepped out on the back deck, which faced the barn, when having a cigarette.

“He is not out here, Ashley.”

Startled, he whirled to face his father-in-law. “You startled me, Chris!”

“I am sorry.” The older man motioned him over to embrace him. “But Andy is not out here.”

“Where is he?” the young boy whimpered.

“He chose to go sleep in the barn tonight,” Chris answered.

Knowing what that meant, a tear slipped down his cheek when he realized how he’d neglected his needs.

“What is amiss, young one?” his father-in-law asked.

“I have been neglecting him,” Ash whimpered, trying not to start sobbing. “He chose not to share a bed with me tonight because of that.”

“No, he chose not to share your bed tonight so he would not hurt you,” the older man corrected him. “Remember you not what he said on your wedding night?”

“I remember, Chris. But were I not so scared of intimacy, he would not be sleeping in a barn right now.” He couldn’t help the sob that escaped his lips.

“There, there,” he gently shushed him. “It is okay. It took Amy six months after our own wedding to finally learn the joys that such intimacy can bring.”

Ash didn’t need or want to know anything about his in-laws’ intimate lives, but said nothing.

“Andy does not know the details of our intimate lives, nor will you. But he knows that his own mother was reluctant at first, and that I pushed her no more than he will you,” Chris told him. “Be thankful that you have such a considerate husband. Most men would just as soon force themselves upon their spouse than wait until they were ready.”

“But I cannot sleep without him,” he whimpered. “I do not feel safe.”

“Would you feel better if you slept with Amy and I tonight?” he asked. “You do not have to sleep in our bed if you do not wish to.”

Nodding, he allowed the older man to steer him back into the mansion and up to the suite he’d never had a reason to enter before. Amy sat up in their bed, the covers pulled over her legs, as she read a book while waiting for her husband to come to bed. When she saw that he had their young son-in-law with him, she was immediately concerned and laid the book aside on her nightstand.

Chris explained to her how he’d found him searching for his husband on the back deck, and she immediately embraced him. Ash broke down sobbing into her chest, his arms wrapped just as tightly around her. He missed his husband with a ferocity words couldn’t describe, and still believed that it was his fault he’d chosen to sleep in the barn because he’d neglected him. In a way, that was true, but not because Andy didn’t care about in; in fact, it was rather the opposite, as his father-in-law’d said. However, nothing would change his mind at the moment, and he didn’t feel safe without his husband.

His in-laws quickly got him settled in bed between them, knowing that he needed the security of sleeping and cuddling with them tonight. He’d been locked away and forced to sleep by himself all his life, then grown used to cuddling with Andy once they were wed. It was no wonder he was acting so broken right now, and they couldn’t really blame him for his actions. Chris blew out the lantern on his nightstand, Amy doing the same, before the trio settled down for what was bound to be a long night.



Andy awoke to the sun shining through the windows of the barn and straight into his face around dawn. He’d managed to sate himself enough to be around his bride again several times over the course of the night, somehow not spooking the horses below him as he did so. The pile of hay he’d slept in hadn’t been too comfortable, and now his back ached as a result, but that was better than hurting his bride from his frustration.

Groaning as he sat up, he grabbed the pants he’d pulled off the night before and started pulling them up his long legs. He stretched his muscles thoroughly before rising from his makeshift bed, groaning again as he held a hand against his lower back because of the pain. Hopefully this would be his last night sleeping in the barn…ever.

He somehow managed to get down the ladder leading to the hayloft, the lantern hanging over his arm by its handle, without breaking his neck. He knew that if they weren’t already, his parents would be up soon, and hoped they’d kept an ear out for Ash, just as they’d promised to do. That thought made him sigh as he thought about how rough the night past must’ve been for him, as used to cuddling in his sleep as he was. He felt bad for leaving him to sleep alone, but knew it had to be done unless he wanted to hurt him, or force him into the intimacy he still wasn’t ready for.

Upon getting into the house, he left the lantern in the mudroom on its shelf before heading up to his suite. He intended to check on his beloved bride before even so much as getting dressed, knowing that he was, for lack of a better term, clingy and needed him. It was a shock to his system when he got to their bedchamber and saw their bed completely untouched, still perfectly made after the maid had come in the previous morning. This set his heart to racing as he wondered where Ash was and he began to panic.

Knowing that his parents were the most likely to know at first, he raced down the hall to the door leading to their suite. Andy knew they didn’t care if he entered their private sitting area without knocking; it was their bedchamber that was a different story. As he was accustomed to this early in the morning, he found his father sitting on the sofa before the hearth, a cup of coffee in his hand as he read the daily newspaper the stable boy had brought back for him. He was still in his nightshirt, his hair a mess since he hadn’t even started getting ready for the day, and he looked up at him with sleepy eyes. Chris chuckled and motioned to his head, and he blushed as he plucked a piece of hay from his own hair.

“Where is Ash?” he asked frantically, his mind brought back to why he was here.

“In bed with your mother,” his father answered. “They still have yet to rise this morn.”

Andy sighed heavily and collapsed onto the sofa beside him, almost sliding out in the floor.

“Coffee?” he asked, gesturing to the carafe sitting on the coffee table in front of them.

“Thanks,” the young man answered, nodding. “I was so worried when I did not find him abed in our suite this morn.”

“He said he did not feel safe without your presence,” the older man told him. “I found him on the back deck, looking for you, when I checked to make sure the doors were locked since I knew you would not be coming back in before dawn.”

“Yes, Ash is pretty clingy,” Andy admitted sheepishly. “I think it is because I have shown him such care and consideration since we were wed.” He glanced down at the golden band encircling his left ring finger.

“Probably so, son,” Chris agreed. “Care and consideration that was much needed on his part.”

“I just hope that he is not cross with me for leaving him alone,” he said worriedly.

“He blames himself for your choice, yes, but I do not think he will be cross with you.”

“He blames himself? What for?” He frowned as he took a sip of his coffee. “He has naught to blame himself for.”

“You and I both know this, son, but he thinks otherwise.” He paused for a sip of his own coffee before continuing. “He thinks he has neglected your needs in not consummating your marriage yet. He is somewhat right, but even though intimacy is important in one’s marriage, and something you long for deeply, it is not something that can be rushed.

“I remember all too well the early months of my own marriage. Your mother was just as innocent as Ashley, and she was not very receptive to even the most chaste of advances at first.” Chris sighed at the memories. “I merely bided my time, either bringing myself pleasure in the only way I knew how, or working myself to exhaustion in the fields since we did not have the wealth we do now. I had no desire to hurt your mother, and made it just as clear to her as you have to your bride that I would not hurt or force her.”

“And I meant what I said when I told him that I would just as soon sleep in the barn as hurt him,” Andy responded sternly. “He is too precious to me to risk harming him.”

A soft “Awww” was heard, followed by Ash’s joyous cry of his husband’s name as he ran over to him. He plopped himself down in his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist as he cuddled into him. The young man returned the gesture, gently kissing the top of his head as he begged him not to leave him like that again. Even if it killed him, it was a wish he was all to happy to grant because the previous night had been Hell for him, as well.

Notes