I'm Not Afraid

Seraphine's Point of View

I woke up to Andy leaving me in the bunk to sleep. We were on the last day of Warped Tour and we were both pretty excited to get back home so that we could sleep in my own bed again and we both hated having sex within the small bunk with his band mates all around us. Sure they also had their wives/girlfriend come visit but it was still weird.

"Babe it's time to get up. Don't want to miss our flight." Andy said gently as he stood at the bunk. I look at him before checking the time. Our flight wasn't until noon and it was barely 7 a.m.

"Andrew Dennis, what the hell?" I said looking at him. He smiled at me as CC appeared.

"We are all going to breakfast. It's tradition that we go to breakfast and then do some sight seeing." CC explained to me. I groaned as I shut my eyes.

"Serah." Andy said. I looked over at him. "Will you please get up and get ready for breakfast?" I groaned and shut my eyes again.

"I want to leave in 30." Ashley said from the front of the bus.

"Seraphine." Andy was getting closer to me each time he spoke. "If you get up now, I will give you the greatest night of your life, food and sex."

"Really?" I looked at him. "Andy, that is just another Tuesday night for us. What would be so special about it?"

"I'll take you to a very fancy dinner and then give you the best sex you will ever experience." He smirked at me. We've been together for three months now but I've known him for the last fours years and never before have I seen his act this way. It was kind of like he was nervous about asking me to dinner.

"Fine. On one condition." I said getting out of the bunk. Andy followed me to the bunk where my clothes were at.

"What is that condition?" He asked me with a smile.

"I need to get a new dress." I told him as I pulled my jeans on. He watched me carefully while I get dressed. He liked watching me and I honestly had no idea why. He has had better looking girlfriends in the past but he had never been so attached to them like he was with me.

"Deal."

***


Breakfast was spent with the guys talking about the next album which left me to sit in silence and eat. I loved listening to them talk but it was tough when you couldn't really say anything about it since yu had no idea.

"Seraphine, do you have anymore modeling gigs coming up?" CC asked me. He was seated on my left while Andy was on my right. I turned my attention to him because the others were engaged in a conversation.

"I do. Nothing too major. I have two shoots for Sports Illustrated, one for a calendar and another one is a video shoot." I said. He gave me a look that meant go on. "The video shoot is for Of Mice and Men. I was asked by Austin if I wanted to be in a music video and of course I couldn't turn it down."

"That is pretty cool. What will you be doing for them?" CC asked me. I shrugged and his smile disappeared as he looked past me.

"You'll do a shoot for them but not for us?" Andy said. Before I looked at him I could tell that he was angry. I turned to face him as he removed his hand from my leg.

"They asked me. You suggested it. There is a difference." I said. He looked at me with narrowed eyes. I shook my head and wiped my mouth with my napkin. "Excuse me, CC." CC moved and let me get out of the booth. I put my cell phone in my pocket and walked out the door of the little restaurant. I lit a cigarette and started the walk across the parking lot to the bus. I pulled out my phone and called the one person who I could complain to. Vic.

"Hello white girl." Vic said as he answered his phone. I knew he was awake because he had been texting me.

"I need to vent." I said. He told someone that he would be back and the sound of a door closing could be heard.

"What's going on?" Vic asked me as he probably sat down on his couch. I told him what had happened and he just listened until I was done speaking. That was the nice thing about Vic. He liked to listen first and then give advice.

"Vic, what should I do?" I asked him.

"I think you should have declined Austin. I see where Andy is coming from. I would be pretty upset if my girlfriend was going to be in someone else's music video but not mine or on the cover of my album. Just put yourself in his shoes and think of how he would feel." Vic said. I nodded before putting out my cigarette and climbing onto the bus.

"You're right. Thank you Vic." I said happily. He said said goodbye and I sat down on the couch to make that call to Austin.

"Hey Seraphine." Austin said sleepily answering his phone.

"Did I wake you?" I asked him.

"Yes but its fine. What can I do for you?" Austin said. I immediately felt bad for what I was about to do.

"I can't do that shoot for you guys." I said. "Andy wasn't too happy because I won't do a shoot with them."

"I understand. I had a feeling this would happen since you jumped at the idea." Austin chuckled. "I get it completely. Thank you for telling me now and not waiting."

"Yeah. Well I'm going to go finishing packing." I told Austin goodbye and hung up the phone. I went to the bunk where my stuff was. Andy and I had a bunk just for our clothes because we had no intention of folding it. I folded the clothes and put them in the suitcases that we had brought with us.

Once I was done packing I could hear the guys approaching the bus laughing and having fun. I moved the suitcases out of the aisle and started to pack my carry on bag so that I would be nice. As I turned off my laptop Andy came and stood next to me. I ignored him as I unplugged my cellphone charger and shoved it in my bag.

"I brought the rest of your breakfast." Andy finally spoke. I grabbed the box from him and set it on the bed.

"Thanks." I went back to packing my stuff up so that I could get Andy's stuff done too. He stood next to me and did not move. "Can I help you?"

"Seraphine talk to me." Andy said. I looked up at him and narrowed my eyes at him.

"What?"

"You can do that shoot." Andy said. "I don't mind."

"I already canceled." I said. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to pack."

***


The flight was quite silent because he was feeling bad about being rude and I was still mad at him. Luckily the flight wasn't very long and it was easy to ignore him when he was pouting. I walked through the airport in front of him and grabbed my suitcase and let him grab his own.

The car ride was tough because we sat in the back of the town car looking out the windows not even speaking to each other. I had nothing to say to him because he had freaked out over nothing. Austin had asked me and Andy and the guys merely made the suggestion.

That night I slept in the guest room but not because Andy told me to but because I was still upset at him. Even that little quarrel was enough to make me not sleep in his arms on the first night back home because I really just wanted to be left alone.

Notes