I'm in love with an Outlaw

~Ashley’s POV~


Jinxx had been questioning me about the night before and I had a panic attack. He calmed me down and kept asking what was wrong but I couldn’t tell him, it was too embarrassing. I could still feel his hands on me, it was horrible, I want to throw up.

I made up a lie, trying to make it sound believable, I don’t think he believed me though, but he left me anyways. He told me to rest and listen to music, saying that it would help me to calm down. I had taken his advice and was currently listening to Sleeping with Sirens; the volume was turned up loud as I lay there with my eyes closed.

It did calm me down, a lot. I was glad that music could help me; it can help you through a lot of things, just by distracting you or comforting you. I’m pretty sure my curtain was opened at one point but I think it was closed again.

I continued to lie there peacefully, sort of. Trying but failing to fall asleep, although the music was helping, a lot. I just couldn’t, I was afraid that someone would do something to me while I was asleep...I mean Andy was in my bunk when I woke up, and his arms were around me. He could have done something.

I might be being paranoid, but you know what? I don’t give a fuck.

I must have drifted off after a while because I was later awoke to Jinxx tapping my shoulder, he was being gentle, but I still recoiled, away to the wall of my bunk, yanking the headphones out in the process.

“D-don’t touch me...” I whispered, staying pressed up against the wall.

“I’m sorry Ash....it’s just...we have pizza, and we were wondering if you would come out for dinner?”

I shook my head, “N-no...I’m not hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten all day...are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes!” I spat at him, trying to make him go away. However he just stood there, his eyes boring into mine.

“Ashley...you’re not okay. I don’t believe any of the excuses you made up, something happened which is why you were late back to the bus. I understand if you don’t want to tell us, but we want to help, we’re worried. And, we are not going to hurt you, I promise. Andy is really worried...and sad; he doesn’t know what to do...please just let us help you. And if you want to tell anyone, tell me. I won’t tell the guys, I swear. Also, I won’t freak out on you.”

“J-jinxx....” I mumbled.

He looked at me expectantly. I just nodded to the edge of my bed; he seemed to get the message because he got into the bunk, but kept his distance from me, knowing that I didn’t want him that close.

“I-I was late back...because...someone uh...pulled me into an alley way, and they...” I could feel the tears building up, making it harder to breath. “Th-they r-raped me, Jinxx...” I whispered before I broke down.

The tears were streaming down my face as I watched Jinxx, looking for an expression or anything, which was hard because my vision was blurred by my tears.

“Ashley...oh god...” I heard him whisper. “Can I...?”

I nodded, letting him slip his arms around me and held me close. I knew that Jinxx wouldn’t hurt me, he’s Jinxx, and he’s too nice to hurt anyone. I cried into his chest, he didn’t seem to mind the fact that my tears were soaking his shirt.

“Ashley, we need to take you to the hospital...” Jinxx mumbled.

I immediately shook my head; I had a phobia of hospitals. “No...Anything but that...please!” I begged.

“Ashley, this is not your choice, we’re taking you to the hospital. You need to be seen, I’m guessing that you were bleeding because of that...and I know because you left your pants in the bathroom.”

“Fuck...but anyways...I don’t think I can walk...”

“I’ll carry you, the guys don’t need to know anything yet, we’ll just say that you’re ill, and dizzy. So you can’t stand or walk. But, you have to come and eat something to keep your strength up.”

I sighed, giving into him and nodding, “Fine...mama Jinxx~” I teased.

He smiled a little and shook his head, “Come on then child.” He dried my tears and slipped out of the bunk, pulling me out with him and carrying me bridal style.

He took me to the bathroom first and let me wash my face, while holding me because I couldn’t sit up, it hurt too much. The guys were gonna have to let me lie across the sofa.

When he carried me into the living area, the guys all looked round, immediately stopping what they were doing.

“Why are you carrying Ashy? What’s wrong with him?” Andy asked, getting up and walking over.

“He’s sick, and can’t stand or walk so I told him I’d carry him to get dinner and that we will go to the hospital.” I heard Jinxx explain.

“Oh...everyone off the sofa!” Andy shouted, Jake and CC got up, giving me sympathetic looks as I was laid down on the sofa.

The guys all sat on the ground and passed me a slice of pizza, which I slowly nibbled on. I wasn’t really that hungry, but Jinxx told me to eat so, I need to listen to my own ‘mother’
Once I had finished the pizza, the guys were already long done with theirs; they were all chatting so I closed my eyes, allowing sleep to take over me once again.

I was rudely awoken by the sound of CC telling me to wake up; we were at the hospital and wanted me to wake up before they took me in. I shook my head at him, not wanting to go in.
Jinxx tried to pick me up so I shuffled away to the edge of the couch, shaking my head. He frowned gently but walked over and picked me up anyway. I started to flail trying to get away.

“PUT ME DOWN!” I screeched, hitting his chest and arms.

“No, Ashley.” Jinxx said, his voice calm, despite me screaming at him.

“I DON’T WANT TO GO INTO THERE! IT’S HELL!” I screamed, still flailing despite the pain it was causing me.

We were walking towards the doors; I started to freak out even more.

“Please, I’m begging you...don’t take me in there...” I whispered, clutching his shirt, tears threatening to fall now.

“I’m Sorry, but no.” He walked through the doors along with Andy, Jake and CC.

I started screaming again, causing everyone in the place to look at me, weirdly. I flailed again, more violently trying to escape. They were going to prod at me and touch me.

Jinxx dropped me, causing me to land on my ass. I gasped and curled up, “F-F-fuck you...” I mumbled quietly, I couldn’t stand up.

I was picked up again, by someone else. I looked up through my tears and saw a blurry Jake. He looked sort of sad and tired, I’m not sure.

He carried me over to the seats and sat down with me in his lap, crying into his chest. I hated hospitals, they freaked me out.

After a while a doctor came and took me away to be looked at. I was shaking and hyperventilating. More people were going to find out about what happened to me. I realized that Jake had come as well. I don’t think Andy wanted to talk to me...

I was placed down on a bed in the doctors room and Jake sat beside me, my tears had stopped flowing and I was only shaking now, my breathing had returned to normal as well.

The doctor came back in, I think Jinxx had told him what had happened to me because he asked me if I could take off my pants, and of course I blatantly refused. Jake, must’ve known as well because he hesitantly took my hand in his, in a comforting and friendly way.
“It’s okay Ashley...” he said quietly.

I nodded my head slowly, gripping his hand tightly.

I tensed up completely as the doctor pulled my pants off and started the examination.

Notes

I'm sorry! I've been neglecting my account on here >< I've been suffering from migraines though, so I wasn't able to go on the computer very much.. sorry!