Cassara please pick up!

I know i made a mistake but please just speak to me C.

Come on Cass you know how sorry i am please just call back.

Call me back babe please.

I miss you right now honey, i know i fucked up bad but please call me back.

I'm so sorry my wild flower please call me.

Cassy please, i'm sorry please just call me.

Deleting yet another voice mail i sign left my chapped lips. Why is he making this so difficult i mean i shouldn't forgive him right? what he done was wrong but i can't just throw away the 10 years of friendship for his mistake. Or can i. He cheated on me. Broke the one rule that meant most to me and that was trust. As much as i want to i can't trust that boy any more, for years i have liked him, loved him but not until a few weeks ago did i realise. I had a gut feeling that our relationship would go downhill but my heart said to be with him. It's exactly like the lyrics, my love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me. I loved him dearly i mean i still do yet the disappointment and hurt i felt was like a bullet to the heart. I should phone him, we should speak no wait we shouldn't oh i don't know. Gazing down at the black ring which still sat on my finger another sign left my lips. Picking up my phone i gazed at the number half my heart telling me to call it but the other telling me other wise. Pushing call i held the phone up to my ear letting it ring. Oh i can't do this, pressing decline i took a shaky breathe come on Cassara just phone the god damn number. Pressing call i held it to my ear biting my lips as it rang.

"Hello Cass? you actually called back,"
"Yes Austin i did now why where you calling me?" i spoke sternly although at the sound of his voice my heart broke.
"Cass i'm so sorry i won't go on and lie i know i made a mistake, one minute i was tutoring her in maths the next we where kissing. I know i should of stopped but i didn't i promise it will never happen again you have to believe me babe?"
"Austin i don't believe you you've lost my trust."
"But Cassy baby you know me.."
"No i thought i did Austin, i thought i did. The Austin i knew would never ever think of cheating. The Austin i know cared for my feelings not crush them like a bug. The cute dates to the lake, the cute cave on holiday where you asked to date me everything was that just so you hoped to kiss me."
"No Cass of course not, I am that Austin i haven't changed please just give me another chance i won't let you down."
"That's what you said last time, how many times do you have to say that before i fall completely. Austin My love for you was bullet proof but you're the one who shot me. You know me inside out, put you're self in my shoes imagine you walked in on me sucking faces with another boy how would you react?" silence " Exactly, my point proven. Look i'm not throwing away this friendship, but i just need you to prove to me that you are who you were. The guy who i love not this cheating scum bag you're turning into. When you are back to him then come and see me but until then i'm done, i need time. Bye Austin." With that i hung up the call laying back in my bed with a thump. Not one minute is my life easy i mean first Luke, then Andy then Storm then Jaidee then Austin then Veronicka and now Austin again. I'm done, placing my hands on my bed i pulled myself up looking outside to find it wasn't too dark. Grabbing my bag i threw in my phone and a few pencils along with my eraser and my song book i jogged down the stairs. Finding Ashley to be the only one inside i crept over putting a quick sneak attack in place. Screaming into his ear he shot up clutching his heart making me giggle.
"I'm away to the park Ash do ya know where Cc is so i can tell him."
"In the kitchen and don't do that again Cass or i will get ya back big time." Rolling my eyes i patted Ashley's shoulder as i made my way to the kitchen, "Hey Dad i'm..oh!" Finding him on the phone i done a various amount of hand motions suggesting that i was leaving and i'm guessing he got the message as he nodded his head. Leaving the kitchen i walked towards the door. Closing the door behind me with a bang i began my way towards the park thoughts banging around my head making me hate the silence for i being one of the people who hate dealing with there problems until necessary. Plugging in my earphones i began listening to Panic! at the disco the lyrics casting away all my negative thoughts.

---

Settling my bag down on the bench i pulled out my song book quickly tucking the the few stray pages into my bag for safe keeping, not wanting to loose what i had. No one knows that i write songs hell Austin doesn't even know, and with living in a home with musicians i'm surprised no one has found out i mean with my guitar lesson with Jake and sometimes Jinxx if he's free i'm shocked they haven't picked up. Finding a blank page i began writing my thoughts and emotions flooding out of me. Explaining everything i have bottled up about the past few days. Everything around me disappearing as i wrote, scribbling onto the paper, by the time i was done tears where making there way down my face and darkness had taken over the sky the street lamps illuminating my work. Wiping my tears away i began packing everything in my bag however a gust of wind later everything was spilled onto the ground below. Cursing under my breathe i began picking up all my stuff quickly walking to the park gates when a voice sounded behind me, "Hey you forgot this," followed by the sound of hurried footsteps. Turning around i was met with the familiar chocolate eyes, "You dropped this, beautiful lyrics by the way." He spoke handing me back my new song i had just written. "Thanks," i whispered placing the folded paper back in the safety of my bag when he spoke up again, "I can tell they mean a lot, the lyrics that is, you've obviously been through a lot. I'm guessing either friend problems or a relationship, i don't mean to sound creepy but i know how it feels and if i can tell ya one think it's to stay strong don't let anyone put you down" Nodding my head as a tear glided down my face, i don't know if it was his encouraging words or the thought of my problems but a salty tear made it's way down my face striking concern on the boys face. "Oh crap i didn't mean to make you cry i'm so sorry here." Beginning to fumble with his jacket he mopped up my tears making a slight giggle grace my lips in return making him chuckle his brunette hair falling into a slight fringe.
"Well i better get going my dad will probably think i've been kidnapped if i'm not home soon," i smiled. "Yeah me to i guess i'll see you around...?"
"Cassara."
"Cool name i like it, i'm Alex."
"Well see ya around Alex." With that i turned away a smile gracing my face, that's what i needed. Knowing someone cares, a stranger cares someone who doesn't pity me a stranger who has been through the same trauma and survived. Not physically but emotionally. In the end i will be fine, polished up better you could say but until then i'm gonna be strong.

Notes

THANKS FOR 22K READS! Oh my god 22,000 people have read this! That's amazing, hell i never even thought we would hit 1,000 yet here we are at 22k and 60 chapters :) Also we have 50 subscriber that's feckin amazing (comment if you are one so i can say hi!) All in all i am just really thrilled at how well this book is getting on and how all of you are so lovely in the comments and all it really makes my day getting feedback from you all!

Have a great day/night - Em xx