Forgive me.

The boys sat around the couch, all looking at me, I had Rosie on my knee and I was fiddling with the bandages on my wrist. Andy was nearly falling asleep on top of Ashley. Jake wouldn't even look in my general direction, and I was glad of it. "And mommy the popcorn was so salty and buttery and.." She kept rambling on and I zoned out, resting my chin on her head softly. After Rosie finished I explained to the boys how I walked back, and how the hospital lights gave me a headache. "do you think the nurses still think I'm in the bathroom?" Jinxx laughed quietly and put his feet up on the coffee table. "Sorry I've been all this trouble, thank again cc for taking care of my little cupcake." Rosie turned around so she was facing inwards to me and wrapped her legs around my waist, well, as much as she could with her little legs. She looked so tired. It was getting dark outside and I held her, picked her up and gave her to cc. After a few hours of awkwardly walking past jake, and glances over the room, it was time to go to bed. Everyone shuffled off one by one and Rosie toddled into our room, absolutely exhausted. She tucked herself in and I kissed her goodnight. I walked to the lounge room to see Ashley, and instantly I felt conscious that I was wearing hugging pants, and a half top that exposed my tummy, which had bandages and stitches all over it. I remembered that I had the slightly yellow green bruises on my neck from jumping Andy still. I sat beside him and noticed he was watching a tv show I've never seen before. He looked over at me and takes a gulp from a whiskey bottle. "Jesus Christ Ashley, so classy" I laugh and he smiles at me. "How do you do your hair like that?" I look back, confused. "Like what?"
"In that braid thing?" I suddenly remember that I have my hair in a French braid, he looked so mystified. "Want me to do your hair pretty boy?" His face lit up and he nodded . He turned his back is to me and I took my hair tie out of my hair. He offered me the whiskey and I hesitated at first. But then I take a big swig of it, letting it burn my throat. "Agh."
"Not the smoothest drink, but it gets the job done" I started to braid his hair, and we continued to take two gulps and pass it back. Soon my vision was hazy and everything seemed warm. We suddenly had the whole world to talk about, mostly sex though. "One time.." Ashley laughs, slurring his words a little. "This girl handcuffed me to my bed and left me there, I had to get the boys to get me out, but I was totally naked, and for weeks afterwards they wouldn't let me forget it." I laughed, probably too hard, but it was just so fucking funny. Somehow we ended up playing music, and Melanie Martinez came on, and I had heard this song somewhere before.
Mum, please wake up, dads with a slut, and your son is smoking cannibas..
And I began dancing, moving my hips and moving my fingers through my hair. Ashley grabbed my waist and swayed his hips with mine. His face barely and inch away from mine, in my drunken daze it felt right.
Everyone thinks that we're perfect.. please don't let them look through the curtains..
I sing and let the warmth run through into my voice. Ashley kissed my cheek and slowly runs his lips over my skin to my lips. I couldn't comprehend what was happening, and I smelt the whiskey off his breath.

Notes

Chapters are going to get better I swear to God