" Rain drops flooding down my face, storm clouds flowing through empty space, wind blows whispers in my ear, the sun light starts to disappear, I don't want to let this go i just want to watch the storm flutter through my soul i just want to push it all cause you aren't here no more to help me through this storm. "


writing the lyrics in my journal I play some notes on the piano in the music room at school.Everyone has left to lunch and the teacher has let me use it for the hour to practice. I breathe in softly and hit the first note on the piano and my hands start moving knowing the notes before my brain does.


"I know I wear my heart on my sleeve thunder dances through me , lightning strikes over me storm clouds wont you cover me , I don't want to let this go i just want to watch the storm, flutter through my soul i just want to push it all , cause you aren't here no more ,to help me through the storm" I sing softly ."



I sing out loud playing putting my heart into the song like every other song I write, but this time I think of every person i loved that left me , used me or hurt me. I think of my mother , my foster father, kids at school and the foster homes, my foster mother, Maxon, Kaimarin, Juliet ...Andy .


Hitting the final note a tear runs down my face . I hear a hear someone trip and music stands fall to the floor.I jump in my seat and wipe my tears away turning around . Kaimarin stands there trying to pick up music stands he dropped .


"what are you doing here? The door was locked. " I tell him shutting my book .



"Im Mr. Callons T.A and he asked if I could come grab some paper work for him . He didnt tell me you'd be in here... but I am glad you are we need to talk . "



" we have nothing to talk about kaimarin. We have said all there is to say."



"come on kait dont be like that ... im sorry for what i said ... i cant help my feelings for you though.... even if you dont want to be with me i still want to be part of your life. I dont care if you are dating Andy and having his babies .... im just worried about you ..."



"im not yours to worry about kaimarin .... please just.... get what you need and leave because I have the room for the rest of the lunch period and want to finish this song . "



"fine..." he says grabbing a stack of paper work off of the desk and walks to the door " the song is beautiful by the way" he calls over his shoulder as he leaves.



I hit some keys on the piano and hang my head into my hands taking a deep breath.looking up i play a few more notes


"I will make it through this storm." I sing .


"you have a beautiful singing voice " a males voice says behind me scaring me shitless.


" sorry didnt mean to scare you Kait. " Mr.Callons says .


I turn around as he walks towards his desk and grabs some paper work off of it. I study his face something I havent done much since ive been so distracted with home stuff. He was tall about 6'4" and about 29 with short cropped blackish brown hair that he had styled. He had a little scruff on his face and his small green eyes hide something behind the immediate laughter that all the girls fell over. Every one in class loved him and he was nice enough to let me have the music room when i wanted to .

" I thought Kaimarin just got you paper work you needed " I asked playing a few keys from Mozart .


"He got the wrong ones . I saw him in the hall and decided to just get them myself. " he says sitting on the bench next to me .


"oh okay " I say scooting over away from him a little.



"here let me show you something . " he says and scoots closer he plays a beautiful melody on the piano in front of him.



" that is really pretty." I say and he looks at me .



"use it in your song ."



"how did you know about my song? Were you in the room the whole time I was singing?" I ask scooting farther away on the tiny bench till half my butt was off.


" I felt that it would be rude if I interrupted your conversation with your friend" he says as he gets closer.


He leans in and kisses me and immediately i push him away and fall off the bench seat to the floor. In a flash he was on top of me pinning my hands down.


"Get off! you know you are never going to work again after this! I yell and try to get my hands free. Memories of Maxon pop into my head and bile raises in my throat.

His hand runs down my body tracing my nipple and then caressing my crotch . My eyes tear up and I thrash against him and gather air to scream . His hand clamps over my mouth before I can .




" I dont think so Miss. Biersack. Who is Andy again? your father right ? and you are pregnant by him ? interesting . I honestly think you wouldnt want daddy thrown in jail so I think this will be just between us. Besides who are they gonna believe . Me a successful teacher ? Or a foster kid with a troubled vheckered past with a history of calling wolf?"



"Why ? why are you doing this ? How do you know all of this about me? I never lied about anything either by the way." I spit at him my tears falling freely. I couldnt have Andy go to jail for our love.


"You didnt know? Maxon , my brother who my parents adopted ,hence the different last name, told me to watch his play thing for him while he is in jail because of said play thing. Though seeing you and having this dirt on you I think Ill use you as my play thing till he is out . which wont be to much longer unfortunately ."


My body shakes in disgust at his touch as he touches me more and then the bell rings and saves me.


"I promise you . I will make your life hell and your "daddy's" life as well . I will use every red cent I have , and thats a lot, to make you wish you were dead if you breathe a word of this to anyone . That being said," He gets off of me and pulls me up off the floor. "I think we will have a lot of fun my little teachers pet." he smiles and I pull my hand out of his and grab my bag running out of class as fast as I can .



"be a good girl!" he yells after me.


My body shakes and I run past my schoolmates and out of the school itself.I shake as I get into my car and drive home trying not to hit anyone as I speed through every light.


I pull into the drive way and just breathe . Tears start falling down my face with out me realizing it and I try to compose myself . I cant tell Andy about this ... It will kill him .... I feel sick to my stomach .



I walk inside the house to find it empty. Good I dont need to worry about how I look or explain it to Andy. I go to my bed room pull off my dress and lay in bed feeling ..... blank .... like a robot . No emotions just a blank feeling inside of me.



My phone dings next to me and I look at the time . Ive been laying here for the last 5 hours felling nothing . I check my messages and see a text from Andy.



"Unplanned show tonight in Arizona be back in a few days love you so much!"



I text back okay and throw my phone across the bed. I feel a burning sensation in my wrist and scratch it. The feeling doesnt go away and I scratch harder . I look at my scarred wrist and get out of bed. I walk across the room and dig in my dresser drawer till I find what I am searching for .


I close my eyes like a violinist and run the blade in my hands over my wrist over and over again. Feeling finally travels through my body again as it blossoms in my wrist. I fall on the floor and tears all freely again just like the blood running down my arm . My eyes flutter closed and peace washes over me at least for a moment and I dont have to think about Kaimarin, Mr.Callons ,Maxon or anyone . Slowly blackness floods over me ...

Notes

Lyrics credit to Chris Bellows and they are copyrighted every one should check him out on facebook at Chris bellows or twitter @Chris_bellows or ig @therealchristopherb. I know i havent been on here writing and I know i apologies for it every update but i have been going through the worse time lately. my grandfathers 11th year death anniversary just happened and my cousins is coming up in a few days and just ive been in a dark place.Yesterday especially I was touched against my will after I told him no repeatedly and pushed him away, he kept harassing me and Now he has made me feel dirty. I am sorry i just need the support of my fans who read this to keep writing because i love this story and i love you guys ive just been so blocked every time i sit in front of my laptop . I love you guys so much! What do you think about Mr.Callons ? how is this going to affect Kait? she has the worst luck ! poor her :(

QOTD: what is your worse memory?