Fifty Shades Of Andrew Biersack

Andrew caressed my sweaty forehead with his thumb and looked me deep into my eyes. Those blue, glittering eyes.
- “What are you doing to me, Nikki?” He whispered and a smile grew on his lips. My whole body was numb and I wanted to scream in happiness that this man actually was here with me, a girl that was nobody.
- “Alright, time to go back to the folks.” He kissed the tip of my nose and as I got dressed I realized that I was missing underwear and once again I hated the bad idea that I earlier thought was so genius. To my surprise Andrew fished up a pair of underwear from his pocket.
- “You want these?” He smiled humored at me.
- “Wait,.. how’d you know?” I said shocked and disappointed.
- “I didn’t, not until you showed me on the plane. I didn’t want my girl to walk around naked, even though I like it to myself. I asked Nathan to run an errand for me. I hope Victoria Secret is good for the lady” He shrugged like it was nothing. I pouted a little at him for figuring out my masterplan and we went inside.

- “Sorry mom, I was just showing Nikki the view.” He mumbled as he sat back down at the table.

I was feeling ashamed, I had actually come here bottom naked only thinking of how to get back on Andy and not considered what his parents would think of me. I actually thought I was going to be the ten thousandth girl he’d brought home to his parents though. I stared down at my hands most of the time and for the rest of the visit I just smiled. Amy seemed like a really nice lady and Chris was funny and sweet. They’re almost nothing like Andrew. What happened to my fifty? I thought of what this future life would mean to me if I decided to sign the contract. Although they actually said I was the first girl he has introduced to his parents, that’s gotta mean something right?

We got back to Andrews house and I sat down, silent at the couch.
- “What’s wrong?” He asked demanding for an answer.
- “I don’t think this is going to work.” I stuttered with crying in my throat.
- “What do you mean?”
- “I want Love. I want flowers, dinner and romance. I don’t know how much more I can take of the beating, spanking, teasing and handcuffs… It’s not what I want.” I kept staring down on the floor as my eyes teared up. My inner voice kept screaming at me. You love this man more than life!!
- “Nikki, what’s wrong?” His eyes were pleading and that was it for me.
- “I’m sorry Andrew. I gotta go.” I stood up and I felt tears running down my cheeks as I ran pass him and out through the doors.
I ran for a few minutes and then called a cab.
- “Tara?!” I cried in the backseat of the driving cab.
- “Nikki? What’s wrong honey?” she asked with worry in her voice.
- “It’s…” damn it, I can’t tell. I promised. “… can you come over?” I sobbed.
- “Of course! Honey, tell me what’s going on? Is it Andy? Has he hurt you?! I’m telling you, ever since I met him at the club, I’ve got a bad vibe about that man.” Oh please, I knew I was about to hear the famous speech of Tara Hoover.
- “No, well yeah but it’s not what you think. Just please can you stay the night?” I sobbed.
- “I’ll be right there.”
The rest of the way home I hugged myself crying in the backseat. I was glad the taxi driver minded his own business. He looked back in the review mirror a couple of times to make sure I was okay but other than that, he seemed to understand that I needed the privacy. Everything that was going on in my head was a mess. Should I just be a nice little good girl and live on his conditions? I know my mother raised me better than that. But for the love of god this man makes my knees and body tremble. I had a hard time thinking of a life without him. These past weeks with this man had been the best of my life.

“Nikki!?” Tara yelled as she flew through the door. She found me crying on the bedroom floor.
- “My god, what has he done to you?” Tara helped me up on the bed. I sat beside her, sobbing even worse now that she was here, seeing me like this.
- “I don’t think he loves me, Tara”
- “Hush, what makes you think that?” she rubbed my back and I leaned my head against her shoulder as I calmed down.
- “To be honest, I don’t think he’s able to love at all.” I mumbled and I felt how my whole body lost hope as I spoke the words.
- “Oh, it’ll be alright, sweetie”

With that said we just sat there. I knew I had to think about this. The flashbacks of the handcuffs and the burn from his hand on my behind. Why would he even feel the urge to punish me like that? I’ve never been threated like that in my entire life. Never ever had I been hit, and it hurts me so much that it’s by the only man I cannot live without. I have completely fallen for someone who’s emotionally shut down. I should’ve known I was gonna get hurt. But I’m stuck somewhere in all his fuckedupness. Why is he so fucked up? The thought of a young Andrew made my tears roll down my cheeks again. Perhaps if he was more normal he wouldn’t want you. My inner voice contributed. I hated the fact that I knew it was the truth.

Tara lay me down and went for two cups of tea. I closed my eyes as I tried to fight the images on my retina of black hair, blue eyes, angry frown and whips. I wanted to scream every time the whip landed on my skin.
I got distracted from my darkest thoughts as I heard Taras loud voice in the kitchen.
“What the hell are you doing here?!”
“No! You leave her alone you asshole!”
“What the fuck have you done this time?”
- “Nikki, where are you!?” Andy roared as he walked through the apartment. His steps got louder and I could hear Tara’s footsteps behind him.
- “Don’t you fucking dare!”
Andrew burst into the bedroom and froze for a second as he saw me laying on the bed.
- “Jesus, Nikki what are you doing?” he moaned and sat down by my side in a moment.
- “Do you want me to throw this asshole out?” Tara hissed. I shook my head.
Andrew looked over his shoulder at Tara and raised an eyebrow. No doubt surprised by her flattering vocabulary. She left the room with a complaining sigh and rolled her eyes at us. Oh I wouldn’t do that near Mr. Biersack
- “Call if you need me and your cards are counted Biersack!”
For the first time I watched as Andy rolled his eyes at the much-irritated Tara Hoover.
- “Babe, talk to me.” he turned to me
- “Nothing, I’m fine.” I sniffled.
- “Nicole, you can’t just run away crying and then tell me everything is fine.” It was the first time he’d use my whole first name. Somehow that felt safe.
- “It’s just…” I took a deep breath. “I thought I was fine. But I guess I’m not okay with everything that you stand for.”
- “Hm, what do you mean?” He grunted.
- “All the hitting. The weird sex.” I mumbled.
- “How did you feel while I was hitting you and after?” I can’t believe he’s actually gonna discuss this.
- “I didn’t like it. I’d rather not have you doing that to me again. Which is maybe why this won’t work.” I sobbed and I felt the tears coming back.
- “You’re not supposed to like it.”
- “Well, do you?” I glared up at him with red eyes. I was angry and disgusted by this man.
- “Do you really want to know the answer to that question?”
- “Oh trust me, I’m dying to know!” I snorted and I couldn’t quite hide the sarcasm in my voice.
He narrowed his eyes at me and an angry frown grew between his brows.
- “Watch it, miss Cox.”
- “Or what? You’re gonna punish me again?” I pushed it further and I realized maybe this wasn’t the way to go.
- “No,..”
- “So?” I demanded.
- “I like the feeling I get when I’m in control. I want you to behave a certain way and when you’re not, I will punish you. I enjoy… spanking you.”
- “So I’m not good enough the way I am?” I narrowed my eyes at him and could not believe what I was hearing.
- “I think you are a lovely and a fascinating woman, miss Cox.”
- “Then why are you doing all this?”
- “I just want you to be mine. I just need you to follow the set of rules you’ve been given and not defy me. Simple.”
- “Why are you like this? What made you into the control freak that you are?! It’s not healthy!” I effervesce.
He runs his hands through his black hair in frustration.
- “I feel the need to control you. I need you to behave in a certain way and if you don’t,. well then I love the red marks my hands leave on your precious little behind. It turns me on.”
- “So it’s not the fact that you’re hurting me?” His eyes leave mine as he swallows.
- “Well, a little. But it’s not just that… It’s the feeling to know that you’re mine to do with as I please. It turns me on, big time. “
I look confused and frustrated at him. Once again, I don’t know weather to run or stay in this mans absence.
“Look, I’m not explaining myself very well I can tell. I’ve never thought of this as deep as I’ve done with you. I’ve never had to explain myself. No one has ever questioned me about this; they’ve mostly just been in on it, following the rules or whatever. But I’m not a bad man. So tell me, how did you feel afterwards?”
- “Confused. Hurt.”
Suddenly he pulled me in for a hug and I breathed the smell of Andrew. I loved his smell, made me feel so safe. Ironically. My tears started to fall once again. This man…

Notes

So latley I'm all for loooong chapters.
But I guess that doesn't bother you people AT ALL! ;) haha
the conversation is To Be Continued in the next chapter...
... that hopefully won't be too far away.

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