CHAPTER 7 (Saviour – Black Veil Brides)
Arsenal POV
Sammi wheeled me from the room with Juliet, Ella and the guys behind her, making sure we had my IV with us. She slowed up outside the room and we went into the lift to go outside. I was just about in hysterics, even thinking his name made me break down.

I hate him for what he did to me.... and my daughter. I haven’t seen my baby girl Jinxx since I gave birth to her. The police searched for her but came to the conclusion she was dead... like mother, like daughter I guess, seeing as Ashley said the cops came to the conclusion that I was dead when I was kidnapped....

“Ars, what’s going on?” Ashley asked, getting very worried as to why I reacted the way I am. Hell I think they were all worried about me.

“Get me outside, let me calm down and I’ll explain. This is something you all need to know, especially you Ashley, you pair as well Sammi & Jinxx” I hiccupped, cuddling myself with tears still pouring from my eyes. A few minutes later we were in one of the gardens and I had stopped crying and was sniffling occasionally.

“You ready to tell us?” Jinxx asked softly. I nodded; this is something I have to tell them, as much as it hurts to.

“What that piece of shit did was unforgivable and was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Worse than Mariah abandoning & turning on me but somehow it turned out alright, I gained some of my closest buddies” I began. Juliet, Ella & Sammi shared alarmed glances, which turned into curiosity then back into worry.

“A few years ago, 2010 to be exact, I was in a very happy relationship with Jason, we’d been dating for a few years when we’d gotten engaged. I was pregnant too and looking at that test with the little pink plus sign was one of the happiest days of my life. I was excited to be a mother, sure a little young seeing as I was 22 at the time but I didn’t have it in me to abort it or give it up.

Jason however.... he was a different story. Although when I told my friends; Deltora, Matt & Jeremy were ecstatic and I was planning on making Jeremy & Deltora the godparents. Jason acted happy and excited when I told them, but his smile never reached his eyes” here I choked up.

This was when things really started going sour. I am Arsenal Neytiri Jaxx-Purdy, a broken mother. No woman should ever have to feel the pain of losing her child, no matter the age, whether her child be a newborn or years old. Ashley was in tears, obviously happy at the thought of having a little niece or nephew to love and spoil, but saddened at what I had said and what I am going to say.

I noticed Sammi looked around at everyone else while I took a moment to calm down. Everyone (including me) was either in tears or very close to it. Ashley, Andy, Jinxx & Sammi were crying; Ella, Juliet, Jake & CC nearly were. I sniffled and continued my story, with Ashley holding me, seeing as I’d gotten out of my chair and he pulled me onto his lap.

“That night when our friends had gone home, he yelled at me, all the bullshit you’d expect like ‘who’s kid is it?!’ and all that. Then he did what I thought and had hoped he’d never do. He hit me, knocking me out.

The next morning I woke up on the kitchen floor with a massive headache, a black eye and a dried nosebleed. I cleaned myself up, put on makeup to hide the bruising and took some painkillers that were safe for pregnant women. Then he came up to me and apologised for what he did. I didn’t believe him and I snapped.

According to anyone who’d seen me in a bad mood my temper was formidable and the hormone cocktail that I was in only fuelled it. We shouted at each other and I punched him, grabbed my things that I usually carry on me and went out for the day.

I went to the doctor and made sure everything was alright which it was, considering I was 4 months at the time and had a tiny bump which I somehow hadn’t noticed” I said, smiling at the memory of my baby girl who I love more than I can ever scream.

I held my hands on my tummy as though I was still carrying her.

“Then I went and started buying maternity clothes, seeing as I was already showing at 16 weeks. Then I went into work and told my boss who let me come in when I was able to and just work on shop stock and serve the customers – it wouldn’t have been healthy for me or my baby to be worrying over the orders which made sense.

Then I went home and put my new things away and posted a picture of my tiny bump on instagram and got some congratulations tweets. Jason came in and slapped me. After that I was scared to stand up for myself.

I listened to songs like ‘Perfect Weapon’, ‘Knives & Pens’ etc to help get me through my day. Then when I was 5 months I had been listening to ‘The Mortician’s Daughter’ with headphones on my bump as well as on my ears when I felt the baby kick. The adorable thing was that it was kicking in time with the music, especially the line ‘I love you more than I can ever scream’.

There are a few reasons why that song means so much to me. One being that was the song that played when my baby started kicking. It always kicked the most at ‘I love you more than I could ever scream’, literally kicking the words with perfect timing. If you gently prod the timing of those words on your lower stomach, that’s what it felt like.

It’s also one of my tattoos as well but I’ll explain that later, there’s more to the story. Then the next day I went to my ultrasound with another friend of mine and I found out that I was having a little girl” I said, looking toward Jinxx.

“And because my friend knew how much of a fan I was of BVB we nicknamed my baby ‘My Little Black Veil Bride’. Over the next few months, Jason still hit me but not enough to kill my daughter, which always confused me as well.... And I say my daughter, not our daughter even though he conceived her – he was no father.

Anyway I got to my 7th month and I was always running to go to the loo, well more like waddle, seeing as my stomach was huge. And I was also tired as hell but had trouble sleeping at night.

Then on the 20th of February 2011 at 8 ½ months, I went into labour, about a fortnight early. Jason was out god knows where so I called Jeremy to get me to the hospital.

When we got there I knew something was wrong, even though my contractions were very close together and my water had broken. Then I found out I had to go and have my baby girl delivered via a C-section” I started choking up again, this was where the worse parts kick in.

Everyone was crying now, especially the guys hearing me explain why ‘The Mortician’s Daughter’ meant so much to me. I got tight hugs from all of them (they minded my broken ribs though which I was thankful for) then from Sammi, Ella & Juliet. I held my arms out to Sammi and she held me closely, as though she was a mother comforting her heartbroken daughter whom she now saw me as (she told me while dying my hair – she earnt a squeezy hug for that), I also look at Jinxx as though he was my father.

Ashley was still crying rivers, looking so sad and heartbroken for me and the shit I’ve had to go through. “What happened then sweetie?” asked Jinxx, Sammi’s throat was too sore from crying to say anything as she swallowed and gasped for air.

“They delivered my baby, she wasn’t crying at first so I panicked, holding Jeremy’s hand tightly then she cried. Well actually cried wouldn’t be anywhere near the right word to use there, from what it sounded like” I chuckled, smiling at Andy, who grinned when he realised what I meant. “She screamed the way I do?” he asked, attracting grins from us all.

I nodded, “Just more high pitched. Not even 5 minutes old and she can scream – a metalhead from birth, literally. Proudest moment of my life right then and there, aside from when I mastered that myself along with playing a song without accidentally hitting a sour note, missing a beat or having to slow down” I laughed, the everyone else joining me.

“Then I named her. Jason said I could call her whatever I wanted to so I did. But I saw his expression was one of a maniac, like he was gonna do something awful to her and/or me. Later on I was told that-” I managed to get out before choking on the tears that had started flowing again – this was one of my worst memories.

When I’d calmed down I continued “I was told that she’d died. But I wasn’t just sad, angry & broken. I was confused. I knew she was premature but only 2 weeks. But what made me suspicious was Jason’s expression. He was grinning like a villain in a movie when their plan succeeds.

Then and there I called off our engagement and literally threw ring away from me; I knew he was involved with my daughter’s disappearance.

They brought her into me and I could feel her breathing, just shallowly. I called out that she was still alive then they knocked me out with something and did something to my baby. When I woke up they insisted my daughter was dead. I refused to believe it but didn’t say anything. I just sat there..... Broken..... Emotionless..... Cold..... No ring on my finger.

Then they asked me to fill in her birth certificate so I did. I left the father section blank, they understood why I did that, so I just filled out my details and hers and was released soon after getting a clean bill of health, I just had to rest up and let the scar heal”

“What did you name her?” asked CC, wiping away tears and holding my hand, gently stroking the back of it with his thumb. Sammi had a curious expression as she looked at mine and CC’s intertwined hands, she glanced at Ashley he noticed too but he smiled softly.

“That’s the interesting part. While growing up, I often thought about my future as a lot of people do, and I knew I wanted to name any kids I had after people and things that meant a lot to me. And while heavily pregnant I played classical music to help us both get to sleep at night aside from a bunch of hot chocolate and BVB was my fave band at the time and I couldn’t wait for the next album either which I bought as soon as I could, same with Wretched & Divine last year.

My daughter’s name is, and I say is cos I still don’t believe she’s gone. Probably won’t until I see it for myself and I felt that she was missing, not dead. I can't really explain it, it’s like a mother’s intuition sort of thing. Anyway my daughter’s name and please don’t laugh at me for this, enough people have already done that, is Jinxx Ashley Melody Jaxx” I said, pride evident in my tone.

Jinxx and Ashley had the biggest grins on their faces, despite the tears that were still falling and had stained their cheeks. We were all smiling and crying a bit, it wasn’t hard to figure out why I chose those names. Jinxx and Ashley meant a LOT to me, especially now that I know I'm Ashley’s little sister and Jinxx is practically my dad.

“You named her after us?” Ashley choked out, I nodded. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I just want my baby girl back in my arms more than anything; I only got to hold her the once when she was born then she was taken from me” I choked before bursting into tears again.

“Oh my god I can never imagine how awful that would have been” said Juliet, hugging me closely, then everyone else hugged me again. “Yeah... that was when I started cutting again...” I added quietly, but I think they heard me. Ashley held me closely. “You know, Jake’s not the only one with a memorial tattoo” I said.

“What do you mean?” asked Jake, looking a little confused, Andy and Ashley looked thoughtful. “You guys remember the ‘I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream’ tattoo in the folder of photos that have the tattoos I’ve got on my laptop? And the ‘Jinxx 20th February 2011’ one?” “Yeah” “They were for my daughter, there are a few others as well,” “Aww” Ella cooed.

“Yeah that and my hairstyle was how I became friends with Ronnie & Dahvie” I said, smiling softly at the memory. “Wait, you’re friends with Ronnie Radke & Dahvie Vanity?” said Andy.

I nodded, “Jeffree, Kellin & Jayy as well, but a few months after that in Kellin’s case” I said, laughing at the memory. It was hilarious looking back on it even though a black eye & broken nose hurt like hell. “How’d that happen?”

“Well, it was a few weeks after JJ – that’s my nickname for her – was kidnapped, I was miserable as hell. Cutting, hardly eating, sleeping or speaking. Sometimes I’d fake being happy... anyway I went to the mall to get out of the house and I had a Hello Kitty cap & a Mötley Crüe hoodie on, with the hood up.

I was listening to ‘The Morticians Daughter’ as it made me feel I still had JJ with me and I was looking around. I saw couples all happy, parents with their kids and it made my heart ache. I decided to go to the food court to get something to eat and head home, I couldn’t take the sight of those people all happy. Then I walked towards the food court, not watching where I was going and I walked straight into someone and knocked up both down.

It reminded me of when Jason would hit me so I started crying so the person helped me up and led me to some seats nearby and we sat down. Then I lowered my hood, took off my hat and recognised the guy as Ronnie which surprised me so much I stopped crying and sat there with my mouth open and eyes slightly wide, tear tracks on my cheeks, blinking slowly. He laughed and said ‘So I’m guessing you recognise me’ I nodded and said ‘R-Ronnie Radke’ well more like croaked seeing as I hadn’t spoken in days.

We laughed at how funny my voice sounded and he asked what had me all upset and listening to ‘The Morticians Daughter’ on repeat. I asked how he knew I was listening to that and he handed me my iPod that had fallen out of my pocket.

Then I told him everything but felt like I couldn’t find the words to tell him about my self-harming so instead I rubbed my forearms. He caught on and led me to a more secluded area and pushed up my hoodie sleeves and unwrapped my arms to see the new cuts on both my forearms.
He kissed my arms and begged me not to do it again, and then he re-wrapped my arms and pulled my sleeves back down, tears in his eyes. Then he put his number into my phone and we chatted about various things and we decided to hang out for the rest of the afternoon, neither of us had anything on anyway.

Then he asked if I wanted to get a tattoo done with him and I said yes, knowing what I wanted to get done. Then after we got them done we went to get hair dye and some cosmetics cos I wanted to change my hair and makeup style.

Then while chatting and not paying attention to our surroundings I walked into someone again and I said something like ‘Goddamn it twice in one day! Who’ll be my next target, Dahvie Vanity?’ at the time I was being sarcastic and didn’t see him standing right in front of me as I said that, I was too busy rubbing my head with my eyes shut as I stood up, leaning against the wall.

Then Ronnie laughed and I immediately opened my eyes and looked up to see Dahvie was standing right there! My face dramatically reddened, jaw dropped and eyes widened. Dahvie just stood there, laughing his ass off and Ronnie oh-so-helpfully shut my mouth for me like Scuttle did in The Little Mermaid”” I giggled, the rest of us all laughed so hard we were crying again, especially Ashley & CC.

Again Sammi had that curious look on her face as she looked between me and CC. Though he did look the saddest when I told them about my daughter, aside from Ash, Andy & Jinxx. Though I’ll admit I kept looking at him while explaining things, though I’m pretty sure fear showed up on my face too. I want to be in love again, preferably with CC, but I'm scared that history will repeat itself. She sent me a ‘we’re gonna talk later look’ and I nodded subtly at her.

“Then I apologised and he said it was fine and he asked Ronnie how he scored a gorgeous gal like me – I flushed red again – and Ronnie shot me a questioning look silently asking whether he could fill Dahvie in and I nodded. Then Ronnie told Dahvie everything I told him and added in the fact I got a few tattoos in honour of JJ.

Then I showed Dahvie the pics of them that Ronnie took on my phone. Dahvie added his number too and they helped me pick out hair dyes and other cosmetics.

Then we all went back to my place and they dyed my hair to how it is now with the chrome & pink bits – before that I had a turquoise bit kind of like Avril Lavigne and her pink streak. And that was all Jason ever let me do, he hated it when I styled my hair like yours as well come to think of it… Then while Ronnie put the dye in my hair, Dahvie taught me a few makeup tricks which I use nowadays.

Then we rinsed my hair out and it looked awesome and we’ve been close friends ever since. They also check up on me and spend time with me on JJ’s birthday week. She’s three years old now” I finished my small tale on how I became friends with Dahvie & Ronnie. “How about Kellin, Jayy and Jeffree?” asked Ashley, still holding me.

“Ah, after Ronnie & Dahvie sorted out my hair & makeup we went and got me some new clothes we went to a BOTDF concert which is where I met Jayy and Jeffree.

Ronnie & Dahvie explained what had happened, I couldn’t get through the tale without breaking down every few sentences. They added their numbers onto my phone then Dahvie & Jayy went onstage; me, Ronnie & Jeffree were side stage, which was great fun. As for how I met Kellin, that was the year that douche got kicked in the head when SWS was playing their set while Warped was in Ohio” I smirked, this was one of my favourite concert memories aside from singing with Dahvie & Jayy, Kellin & Ronnie occasionally.

“Wait, was that you? We heard about it a lot, Kellin talked about it a lot too” asked Andy. I nodded, “Yep. I was watching SWS set and having a great time and videoing it too. I was still struggling but I was getting better, anyway this idiot was flipping them off the whole time. Then we exchanged words, he punched me in the eye and broke my nose which I didn’t realise at the time” I explained, miming it on Ashley, but not recreating the damage.

“Then I slowly turned back to face him, a ‘joker’ expression on my face and told him he really didn’t want to attempt that again. Kellin noticed it by then but the idiot hadn’t stopped yet. He tried to punch me again, I caught his fist and pulled a few moves and broke his arm. Then I jumped up and spun in midair and kicked him in the head, knocking him out cold. Then the pain in my face kicked in. I was cursing and holding my hand there by the time security got to us”

“How’d you kick him like that?” asked Jinxx.

“I’m a black belt. I started learning karate in high school and had gotten my black belt shortly before JJ happened. Then the security dude took me backstage, apparently Kellin wanted to see if I was ok. What a lot of people don’t realise until it’s too late for them is that I’m very defensive of people and things that mean a lot to me as CC found out about stinky the other day unless I tell them before they do something stupid.

Anyway SWS is one of the bands alongside BVB that means a lot to me so I wasn’t gonna take it when people hate on them for no reason and why would you go see a band play if you’re just gonna flip them off the whole time? You guys had already played your set by then and you signed my copies of We Stitch These Wounds & Set The World On Fire, I don’t know what you guys got up to after that” I explained.

“Wow, remind us not to piss you off that much!” said Jake, I laughed “To get me to do that you gotta do something pretty damn bad and I have to be reallllllllllllllly spewing” I said. “Huh?” said CC, who was mega confused, complete with an expression to match.

I face palmed, “Of course, you guys probably don’t know Australian slang terms, or very few. How could I have forgotten that” I said.

“Spewing is a term for very angry. For vomiting we say chunder or liquid laugh. We Aussies have some funny terms for things. I still consider myself an Aussie even though I'm an American citizen legally, I just call myself Ausmerican seeing as I was raised in Australia so I call that giant hunk of red dirt home and still carry an Aussie accent according to a lot of people” I explained, smiling when I said that Australia was like home to me.

“Anyway before I get too much more off-topic, the security bloke led me backstage, me still holding my eye with one hand and my nose with my other as I realised it had broken and I tasted a bit of blood on my mouth, besides I couldn’t see where I was going – one eye was ouchied and I kept the other shut as I usually did when a part of my head was sore for whatever reason.

Kellin patched me up as best he could before asking what had happened. I explained and also told him a bit of why I was so angry, I was still pissed about losing Jinxx several months before.

Then he took me to a hospital and got me fixed up, he also had to get his hand wrapped up cos I was holding it really tight while the docs sorted my eye and nose out. Then I remembered my 23rd birthday was a few days previous and going to Warped was one of my presents along with some of my guitars which I mentioned.

Jeffree got me some awesome makeup stuff, Jayy & Dahvie got me Hammet and Ronnie got ‘Destroying Gryffindor’ & ‘Mystic Slytherbich’ made for me, complete with all the details I’d specified on the designs themselves which explained all the interrogating they’d done since CC’s birthday which was hilarious. It also explained why my designs went missing for those 2 guitars.

I went ballistic when I couldn’t find my designs – Ronnie, Jayy, Dahvie and Jeffree just laughed their asses off until they were rolling on the floor and crying while laughing, Dahvie even wet himself! Then Kellin treated me to dinner which was my usual giant meal at McDonalds and a jamming session with SWS which was really fun. And that was how I became friends with Ronnie, Dahvie, Jayy, Jeffree & Kellin and how my bike, awesome hair & makeup style and two of my guitars came to be” I finished my tale.

“Sounds like you have some awesome friends Ars” said Ash. I grinned, “I know I do, 8 new ones now” I said.

“Hey Ars, why dont you show the girls your cover videos?” Jinxx suggested, stretching out after sitting in one spot for a while. “Sure” I said, digging in my bag and eventually bringing out my laptop. I sat on the ground and started it up, then opened my video library.

“Anything you girls wanna watch?” “‘The Mortician’s Daughter’?” Ella suggested. I smiled softly, “Hey you 5 get over here” they all shuffled over as Arsenal opened the video. In one part of the screen I had the clip of myself playing the song and on the rest of the screen was various photo’s & clips of my pregnancy.

“Wow Ars, you looked beautiful pregnant” said Juliet when a photo of me heavily pregnant came onscreen. She wasn’t kidding, I was glowing and my smile was infectious according to Sherrie who was the photographer who did the photos, my baby bump was displayed at the right angle in the maternity toga I wore – which by the way was dead comfy.

My hair was in an elaborate style with a laurel wreath in it. I had golden armbands on my upper arms and armour on my forearms. My toga was a silvery-white colour that blended into a very pretty shade of purple.

I was barefoot and leaning against a wall cradling my bump in my arms. My makeup was an ethereal style with the colours matching my dress. “Wow Ars, you looked beautiful” said Andy, everyone else agreeing. “Thanks guys, that was a professionally done photo shoot too, Jinxx was dancing around that day, I couldn’t stop giggling, it was kind of ticklish, even though my feet were huge and my back was killing me” I said, smiling.

Then we watched my cover of ‘Perfect Weapon’, Sammi, Ella & Juliet’s jaws all dropped to the amusement of the guys. When they asked why they said that was their reaction when they saw it. Jinxx wasn’t kidding; I guess I am a prodigy at Screamo.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the guys asked me to perform onstage with them at some point – that would be the best thing ever! And they already want me to jam with them so... One of Sammi’s favourites was ‘Holding Out For A Hero’ so naturally she asked if I could sing it for them, I agreed to then did a few vocal warm-ups – attracting amused looks from Andy and Ashley as I apparently warmed up the way they do.

Then I found the karaoke track for it in my HUGE music library in an album called ‘Vocal Backing Tracks’, I’d spent a while organising my iTunes library seeing as I had a LOT of songs, a good chunk of them being my covers and my top 3 fave bands which were BVB, Bon Jovi and Metallica. Then I started singing.

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Everyone’s jaws dropped open as I sang the first few lines, especially the guys.

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need
Hit it!

Juliet, Ella & Sammi decided to fill in for backing vocals so they pitched in with the vocalising, again surprising the guys.

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero
'til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

During the chorus, everyone noticed CC was staring at me in amazement. I noticed and blushed slightly but my voice didn’t falter once. Jake prodded CC who came out of his little trance, Ashley snorted in laughter.

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero
'til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
(Larger than life)

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I could swear that there's someone somewhere
Watching me

Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like the fire in my blood (like a fire in my blood x4)

It was really hilarious the expressions on the guys faces when we all sang, we had to stop ourselves from laughing.

Hero

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light
And he's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Hero

And He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero

Then the song finished and I sat there with a smug grin on my face. The guys all sat there, jaws on the floor, eyes blinking owlishly before Sammi cleared her throat loudly.

That effectively snapped them out of their slightly comatose state, Ella giggling softly, earning a smile from Jake – seriously those two are an adorable pair! So are Andiet, maybe me and CC too if Ashley doesn’t slice CC into pieces first and if I wasn’t so scared of being in a relationship again.

“Any other requests?” I said, smiling. The guys swiped my laptop earning a loud curse from me and the guys all exclaiming “What fuck did you just say?” complete with WTF looks from them – I quietly told Sammi, Ella & Juliet that that was Greek/Na’vi/French for ‘Fuck you moron! Motherfucking idiots, who are too cute for their own good, especially CC’ and practically admitting I liked him, then I swore them to secrecy on it.

Then the guys looked over at me, grinning evilly. I saw that and warily eyed them, wondering what they’d picked. Andy’s grin was evil, so were Ashley & Jake. Jinxx and CC not so much, their faces were more on the lines of amusement.

They were clearly hoping to embarrass me with whatever they picked but were surprised at my ‘seriously guys?’ expression when Eminem’s ‘The Real Slim Shady’ started playing. I sighed and shook my head in amusement – one thing I kept secret was that I was able to rap as well, I just preferred screaming way more.

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her ass worse than before
They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture (Ah!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing, you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem

[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]

"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who" "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms

Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss

And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?

"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
(repeat)

[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records;
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy? [*blows raspberry*]
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me

"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Yo Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]

I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
(repeat)

I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugar-coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it

And whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums
It's funny; 'cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
And I'm jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking

He could be working at Burger King, spitting on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parking lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up

So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?
(repeat x4)

Ha-ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up.

“And thank you!” I finished with a bow, hissing and clutching my chest before toppling onto CC who caught me. Our eyes met and both our faces flushed – I was sorely tempted to close the gap between us then I snapped out of my trance noticing Ashley's expression and I scrambled to my feet only to overbalance again and yell “MOTHERFUCKER!” as Jinxx caught me.

I stayed still and pouted, crossing my arms until Jinxx helped me sit up. “Now what, any other songs you boys want to see me own?” I said in my sassy bitch tone making us all laugh, especially Ashley, I’m guessing he was like that a lot. “What about ‘Frantic’ by Metallica?” Jake suggested.

I thought about that for a moment. “Ah ‘St Anger’ album 2003 when Robert Trujillo joined the band. Man that song was a bitch to learn; now I love it. I can do that one, but it’s more fun with Janxx or Purfield” I said. Jake nodded and found the song and played it.

If I could have my wasted days back
Would I use them to get back on track?
Stop to warm at Karma's burning
Or look ahead, but keep on turning?

Do I have the strength
To know how I'll go?
Can I find it inside
To deal with what I shouldn't know?

Could I have my wasted days back
Would I use them to get back on track?

You live it or lie it!

Once again, the guy’s jaws were all hanging on the floor; Ella, Juliet and Sammi were in stitches from laughing so much.

My lifestyle determines my death style

Keep searching, Keep on searching
This search goes on, This search goes on

Frantic tick tick tick tick tick tick tock
Frantic tick tick tick tick tick tick tock

I've worn out always being afraid
An endless stream of fear that I've made
Treading water full of worry
This frantic tick tick talk of hurry

Do I have the strength
To know how I'll go?
Can I find inside
To deal with what I shouldn't know?

Worn out always being afraid
An endless stream of fear that I've made

To our surprise Andy joined in and screamed just as loudly as I did. Maybe we should do a few recordings together, I think our voices sound pretty good together.

You live it or lie it!

My lifestyle determines my death style

Keep searching, Keep on searching
This search goes on, This search goes on
Frantic tick tick tick tick tick tick tock
Frantic tick tick tick tick tick tick tock

My lifestyle (Birth Is Pain)
Determines my death style (Life Is Pain)
A rising tide (Death Is Pain)
That pushes to the other side (It's All The Same)

By the time the song was over, I was still breathing relatively normally despite my broken ribs, Andy was panting. I giggled, “What Metallica a little too rough for ya Andy? I didn’t tell you I do Metallica songs a lot and I’m usually playing lead guitar, rhythm guitar, bass or serving customers at the same time, so my lungs are kinda used to it” I giggled, taunting him – Andy just flipped me off, I blew a raspberry at him, being the mature 25 year old lady I am (NOT!).

Jake hi-fived me, then we started ‘Seek & Destroy’, the live one from their Halloween show in Quebec City 2009 and I was mimicking what James Hetfield, the singer in Metallica was saying. I love this song a lot from the how I felt my expression brighten and my eyes light up as I said the words, Jake joining in with the lyrics.

We are scanning the scene
in Quebec tonight
We are looking for you
to start up a fight

There is an evil feeling
in our brains
But it is nothing new
you know it drives us insane

Running,
On our way
Hiding,
You will pay
Dying,
One thousand deaths

Running,
On our way
Hiding,
You will pay
Dying,
One thousand deaths

Searching,
Seek and Destroy
Searching,
Seek and Destroy
Searching,
Seek and Destroy
Searching,
Seek and Destroy

Not only were Jake and I, we were air guitaring away. Ashley, Andy and CC were laughing their asses off, rolling around laughing. Jinxx was snickering but also tapping the riffs on his knee and lip-syncing along. We didn’t pay much attention, we were having too much fun playing on invisible guitars!

There is no escape
and that is for sure
This is the end we won't take any more

Say goodbye
to the world you live in
You have always been taking
but now you're giving

Running,
On our way
Hiding,
You will pay
Dying,
One thousand deaths

Running,
On our way
Hiding,
You will pay
Dying,
One thousand deaths

Searching,
Seek and Destroy
Searching,
Seek and Destroy
Searching,
Seek and Destroy
Searching,
Seek and Destroy

Now we were air guitaring the solo’s and that was definitely a funny sight, seeing as we heard everyone laugh their asses off, even Jinxx was rolling around laughing with Andy, Ashley & CC. Jake and I were having too much fun pretending to play the song, we were WAY in the zone, we hardly noticed the rest of them laughing.

Our brains are on fire
with the feeling to kill
And it won't go away
until our dreams are fulfilled
There is only one thing
on our minds
Don't try running away
`cause you're the one we will find

Running,
On our way
Hiding,
You will pay
Dying,
One thousand deaths
Running,
On our way
Hiding,
You will pay
Dying,
One thousand deaths
Searching,
Seek and Destroy
Searching,
Seek and Destroy
Searching,
Seek and Destroy
Searching,
Seek and Destroy!

We both yelled out the last word then got straight into the next song but even CC got involved air drumming away.

Sleep, and dream of this
Death angel's kiss
Brings final bliss
Come believe me!

Empty they say
Death, won't you let me stay?
Empty they say
Death, won't you call your name?
Oh, call your name!

Suicide, I've already died
You're just the funeral I've been waiting for
Cyanide, living dead inside
Break this empty shell forevermore

“Er Ashley, do you know what this song is?” I heard Sammi ask Ash who’d calmed down by now. “Cyanide” he replied, watching me air guitar as though the world was about to end.... which is usually how I play anyway!! LOL.

Wait, wait patiently
Your death-black wings
Unfolding sleep
Spreading on me

Empty they say
Death, won't you let me stay?
Empty they say
Death, hear me call your name
Oh, call your name!

Suicide, I've already died
You're just the funeral I've been waiting for
Cyanide, living dead inside
Break this empty shell forevermore

Say, is that rain or are they tears?
That stained your concrete face for years
Crying, weeping, shedding strife
Year after year, life after life

A narrow freshly broken ground
A concrete angel laid right down
Upon the grave which swallows fast
It's peace at last
Oh, peace at last

Oh boy here comes another epic air solo! Jake and I are reaaaaallllllyyyyyyy having a lot of fun with this, hey it looks like Jinxx is filming the entire thing I observed from the corner of my eye.

Empty they say
Death, won't you let me stay?
Empty they say
Death, hear me call your name
Oh, call your name

Suicide, I've already died
You're just the funeral I've been waiting for
Cyanide, living dead inside
Break this empty shell forevermore

Forevermore!
Forevermore!
It's the funeral I've been waiting for!

Then when ‘Cyanide’ was finished I plopped down on Ashley, causing him to grunt in surprise, not expecting me to do that, Jake just sat back down and laid back in a starfish shape, Ella smirked evilly, who knew what was going through her head... Then my phone played J5’s text tone (Lightsaber power up).

I grabbed it and read the message. “It’s safe to go back up and about time too I wanna get this bag out of me, bloods all gone from it and into me” “Alright let’s go back in then” said Ashley, helping me into my chair. Juliet and Sammi packed my things back into my bag and we all went back up to the orthopaedic ward – Yay... I wrinkled my nose when we went back inside, towards the lift.

“Ugh I hate the smell of this place... the sooner I’m out of here the better” I growled, CC gulped – I’d laugh if that turned him on. Oooh drama, Ashley’s glaring at him! I wonder if CC has a crush on me... I sure as hell have one on him.

Ashley’s brotherly instincts are kicking in by the looks of it.... We got out at level 4 and went back to the room me & J5 were sharing then I got back into bed and got a nurse to get the bag out of me. I cringed, looked away and gripped CC’s hand when the nurse removed the drip that was in my arm for the blood, I felt a little nauseated too.

“Hey you ok?” CC asked softly. I nodded. “Yeah I just hate getting needles put in me then pulled out then there’s my heavy periods and anaemia so that makes me squeamish around blood... tattoo needles I can handle pretty well, seeing as I’m practically half covered in ink, but with IV fluids and blood transfusions, no thank you” I explained, smiling at him, rubbing my thumb on his hand, a light blush on my cheeks.

Everyone else had curious expressions on their faces, looks like Ash & Sammi weren’t the only ones to notice there was something between us.

Word Count: 7843

Notes