Sorrow

I needed a cigarette in the worst way. Heaven why did I quit smoking? I climbed in my car sighing heavily when Suicide Silence startled me.

"Maxine dear are you coming?" Was my mom's greeting, not even a 'how are you?', or' how was work?' "Yeah, sorry got tied up at work." She laughed nervously knowing my mom she is baking again. "Okay don't be late." With that she hanged up.

I strap myself down throwing the phone on the front seat beside me. I can not get Andy out of my head, he looks so... Is he? I swear I saw...no!


Ten minutes later I arrived at my old home climbing out checking myself in the mirror to see if any tattoos showed. No. Nothing. Maren cracked the front door open with a weak beam. "Hey Maxine." He mummers walking up to me giving me a huge hug. Maren the youngest sibling twenty one to be exact.

"Hey Maren how is Columbia treating you?" "Oh you know," giving me a wink and walked in, me following him. "Banging bitches, but don't let mom hear that." I scoffed and followed him into the kitchen.
"Smells divine."I grumble to myself missing my mother's cooking. "Don't worry I missed mom's cooking as well, minus the attitude." Maren grabbed a Rock Star out of the fridge and slide toward me.

"Look who decided to finally come!" Luka's echoing voice pierced through my ears as he came around the counter shoving Maren to my side. The middle child the bad ass, and here I thought I was the bad ass in the family. "Spare me the 'how have you been Luka." I muttered drinking my Rock star. "Oh, we are not even together for ten minutes and we have a brawl." My father muter giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.


"Than you haven't went to a Metallica concert yet." Maren groan eyeing me. When he was fifteen I got him a ticket to go with me to a Metallica concert , best mistake I have ever made. Mosh pits and Maren, not a good combo. Sometimes I feel I can throw Luka in one.

"Maxine, you look great you can almost past for normal." I gave a soft giggle seeing my big brother Alex approaching the kitchen. "Don't get used it to it." I grumble giving him a quick hug.

My three brothers always were different from another but all three decided to follow in daddy and mommy's footsteps. Maren twenty one and he is in his 3rd year at Columbia university getting his PHD in physics and becoming a doctor. His short hair complementing his face structure. Comparison my little brother almost looks like Kellin Quinn but with deep grey eyes and no tattoos.


Luka twenty six works at Seattle mercy hospital in Washington; green sparkling eyes hulk hogan structure and a attitude than can make him get slapped by a real woman, fake girls fell for that. Comparison to Matt Good minus the attitude and the hulk hogan structure.

Alex, wow. What can I say about my thirty five year older brother amazing in every way. Andy biersack all the way; tall, long sleek with black big eyes and long hair that hangs down his shoulders can make any girl bloom, when he is in a suit no doubt, his hair always gelled back when he have something going on like in court. Best lawyer in the Tri-state area of LA.

"A freak is more the word for you." There it begins. "Oh sweetie hush." My mother mumbles slapping Luka with her hand softly on his broad chest. "Fuck off Luka, Alex I need to go." I snap gulping my last bit of energy drink. I slid off the bar stool and walked out the kitchen but Alex stopped me in his tracks.


"Maxine darling stay for dinner." "You deserve a hard lesson in life Minx." Luka says emphasizing my 'Nickname' "Why don't you learn me a thing or two Motherfu-" "Enough!" My father yells shaking his head side to side. "Let's enjoy the evening shall we?" My father turns to me than to my brothers. We all nod in agreement.

I managed to get though the dinner without any fights or arguments, so I considered this to a well brought up 'no cussing' evening. Unlike other nights where we fight when we have a huge dinner.


Now I just want to get home, jump into the shower watch some movies and go to sleep. As I open my car door of my mustang Andy's face sprung in my mind. God how I wanted to touch him again.

"You alright?" I twirled around to see Alex standing behind me. "Ya, you?" "I am okay." Alex shrugged and move closer towards me. "Listen,don't Listen to Luka okay, you are not a freak."

"Don't flatter yourself Alex, I already know who and what I am, not that ass is gonna say any differ." "But I don't like it when he calls you that," he sighed heavily shaking his head. "Maxine do you ever thought of leaving LA, start a new life somewhere else?"

"Why on earth would I do that? This is my home my friends are here. You are here." I shoved my hands deep into my pockets giving him a confused look. "Your friends? They are bad for you."


"What's wrong with my friends?" "Come on, Maxine I have been on the other side of the courtroom from half the guys that walked in and out your tattoo parlor, its a matter of time you are gonna end in court as well, and I won't be there to pull you out of the fire and back in the frying pan." I scoffed giving my brother a 'no' look. "I don't do drugs, or sleep around and get into trouble Alex, I work and go home that's about it, you don't have to pull me out of the fire, haven't you notice we're already in hell."

"Fine, just don't-" I held out my hand grabbing his. "I am an adult now, I won't try and kill myself again when the going gets tough I promise." He pulled me in for a hug and let go quickly.

"Bye." Alex walked back into the house as I climbed in my car. What they did not realize was the very things they looked at saved my life, all these tattoos on my body represent where I was and where I am going.


The Sorrow of seeing my family eyeing me in horror it hurts. If it was not for tattoos and music I would be In jail right now, or worse dead. Sighing heavily I shifted through my CD collection across the seat and popped in Motionless in white, something brutal to fit my depressing mood. I turn up the volume as the growling guitars filled my ear drums. As a habit I plunged my hand into my pocket and grab a piece gum.


"Fuck it." I groan deciding I need something stronger , a cigarette and a bottle of Johnny Walker.

Notes