I huffed again as Ashley rolled his eyes at me. I was not in the mood. Why did he expect me to put any effort in to my appearance tonight when he knew I wasn't up to this?

“Please just put your boots on already?” Ashley said, his voice strained as he tried to stay calm. I groaned and bent down to retrieve my puts. I sat down and began to lace them up, glancing up at him as I spoke.

“This is stupid. I don't feel good about this,” I whined again. My attention was stolen from my boots when I heard a loud thump. I snapped my head up at Ashley. He still had his hand resting on the wall from where he just slapped it. It was silent for a moment as I let him regain some composure, and then he slowly turned and looked down on me in my seat.

“You know what, Andy? I don't care. You haven't felt good about anything in the last two months. Not since Juliet left. And yeah! I'm saying her name. Her name hasn't become a forbidden word, I'm sick of walking on glass around you! It just hurts to hear, but you need to move on,” he told me. I didn't reply, so he continued. “Do you think it's fun to see you like this? Your friends? We care about you and you've been so down for so long now. So, I've decided I don't care about your emotions tonight. I'm going to be selfish. I'm going to get you out and get you drunk just so I don't have to see you so sad tonight. Tomorrow you can go back to moping, but eventually you're going to have to move on.”

He kept his eyes on me for a moment. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked ahead, straight through him, in thought. And finally he moved away. I watched him grab his coat and walk out of the living room, mumbling 'I'll call the cab'.

I stared at the empty space where he'd just walked out. Truth is, I couldn't bring myself to do a lot of anything since Juliet left, and to be fair I guess I haven't thought of much else either. Including my friends. I sighed, disappointed in myself. I'll do this for them, tonight. I'll go out. But I'll be damned if the ache in my heart will just evaporate because of a few drinks. Maybe I can numb it for a while. But really, when everything else is already numb, the pain in my chest just reminds me I'm alive. I'm real. Ashley's right, I do need to sort myself out. But after two months I just feel I need more time. This wasn't enough.


Damn it! I stomped my foot as I stood up. This is ridiculous. I feel so conflicted all the time. It's all her fault. Fuck. How could she do this? Did she not think of the destruction she'd leave in her wake by just leaving like that? The hurt she'd cause? The worse thing is not knowing the real reason. Was it something I did? Something else? Was it sudden, or had it been building to this for a while? I balled my hands into tight fists, and then remembered to breathe, relaxing again.

“Ashley, let's go!”

The cab ride was short. Ashley was in charge tonight and I had no idea where we were going. Some place Ashley has deemed worthy of his nightly escapades at some point in his life. I looked out of the window as we headed into down town. It was just starting to drizzle. I watched two droplets of water cascade down the window, before the rain got heavier and they were lost. It wasn't usual to rain like this, but it didn't bother me so much.

We paid for the cab and then made a quick run to the door of the club Ashley had brought us to. We stood under the shelter at the main entrance as Ashley gave the bouncer our names. The man flicked through the pages on his clipboard as if he didn't know who Ashley was and I rolled my eyes. Ashley knew almost all the bouncers in the local proximity. He finally nodded us in.

I felt the bass in my chest and the drums vibrating through the floor and my feet. There was a live band tonight. I glanced at them repeatedly as I followed Ashley to wherever he was headed. I was trying to work out if they were good or not. The sound in here was awful. The music was just super loud, for all the drunk club-goers to dance around to. It wasn't exactly set up for a good performance.

Distracted, I didn't notice Ashley buy a drink for me until he thrust the pint glass of lager into my hand.

“Drink” he ordered. I obeyed and took a few sips. It was bitter, but it was still good. We moved along the bar to the more crowded area, on the edge of the dance floor. I saw a group of girls making eyes at us so I nudged Ashley and he smirked at me, then sent the same flirtatious look they were giving us back to them. The corner of my lip twitched as I watched him. Then I smiled down at the floor. He was just having fun, who was I to deny him of this for so long. A bad best friend, for one thing.

I took a few more gulps of my drink, trying to loosen up. Ashley tried to nudge me towards the floor with him, but I trailed behind, not quite ready to follow him towards the group of girls. So I let him know I was going to go to the bathroom, downed the rest of my drink and slipped away for a moment.

The music was considerably muted when the door of the bathroom shut behind me. I didn't need to go so I just stood in front of the mirror. I rubbed my chin, inspecting the small amount of stubble I had let grow. I didn't usually let that happen. Maybe I'll shave tomorrow. I wasn't in the mood to splash any water on my face, so I just rubbed my face with my hands instead. I stretched my skin then blinked my eyes back in to focus. Damn it, Andy, just try to have some fun?

I left the bathroom and tried to get back to the bar, having to pause behind a large group passing in front of me.

“Andy!” I faintly heard my name being called over the music. A song finished and the crowd drunkenly cheered. I tried to look for the owner of the voice that called my name, expecting to see Ashley striding up to me, but there was no one I recognised. Then suddenly she was a few paces in front of me. And she called my name again. She was searching the crowd.

“Andy?!”

“Yeah?” I answered. She was close enough to hear me now. Her eyes found me and she looked a little confused. Her eyes were big, her blue iris's almost hidden by her big pupils, due to the darkness and the drink she had consumed. I could tell by the way she swayed. She raised an eyebrow, and took a step closer to me. I looked down on her, even in her heels, with probably the same confused expression she was giving me. But she was the one calling my name.

She turned her head and scanned the crowd again, and looked back to me, grinning. And she giggled.

“You're not the Andy I was calling, but you'll do” she poked my chest with her finger.

I looked down at her perfectly painted red nail as it pressed against my black shirt, and then back up to her face. She was biting her red lip, which matched her nails. She grabbed a fistful of my shirt as she almost stumbled and I instinctively put my arm out to catch her, grabbing her arm.

“I apologise” she slurred, giggling again as she straightened my shirt. Then she looked up at me with her big eyes again. “I'm looking for my no good friend.”

“I suppose I am too” I replied, wondering where Ashley was then. I continued watching her though. Intrigued by her voice. She had an accent, but she was slurring so much. What was that? British?

“Andy? Andy is it” she asked. I nodded. “That's soo funny.” It wasn't, really. “My friend is Andy!” her voice went high pitch, as if finding out we had the same name was the craziest thing she'd heard all year.

So at least it was confirmed that she wasn't calling me. I carefully let go of her, making sure she was steady on her feet before I left her to her own accord.

“Don't leave. Come find Andy!” she laughed. I looked above her head for any sign of Ashley in the crowd behind her, and rolled my eyes when I realised he'd obviously made his own way into the sea of girls tonight. So I hesitated, but then smiled down to this girl as an okay, not really sure what I was getting myself in for. She showed me her pearly whites again and slid her hand away from my chest to my own hand, and slowly dragged me along.

Notes

Ay Ay Ay Ay

I don't have much to say about this chapter but I'm excited to write the story I guess woo
Just lemme know what y'all are thinking eh?