Uncovering the Past
The next afternoon, Jess had awoken to Pharaoh licking her face and whining. She greeted him with a smile and scratched behind his ear, which he seemed to enjoy. She got up tiredly and goes to the kitchen to fill his bowls with food and water. Placing a hand on her head and brushing her hair back, she sighs. She felt like utter shit. She wondered if this was how the undead felt after getting hit by a train. Groggily, she goes back to her room to find some clothes to set out for when she gets out of the shower. She spots a glass of water on her nightstand, along with two pills. And notices a blue piece of paper with some writing on it. She walks over to it and begins to read it.
“Hey Jess, I hope you’re feeling better. I left because I didn’t want to freak you out by staying uninvited, there’s something I want to ask you…call me when you want to tomorrow.
P.S. You ARE beautiful. Remember that please.
XOXO Ash” She mouthed the words quietly.
“How sweet of you Ash.” Smiling gently, she puts the note back down and gladly takes the pills and drinks the cup of water. She wondered how in the world someone like him could ever think she was beautiful. She didn’t think she was worth anything. She was used. That seemed to be a reoccurring theme in her life; being used. Suddenly she begins to think about what he wanted to ask her, she begins freaking out.
“Oh god! I must have done something stupid yesterday! Oh fuck, Jess. You always do something to fuck things up. It never fails.” She said franticly. Now she was stressed out.
Walking to the shower she turned the knob letting it run until it was burning, and stepped it. To her the burning sensation helped calm her nerves, and she also used it to punish herself. She needed to feel some kind of pain. She deserved it, she thought.
After about twenty minutes, she stepped out, walking to her room to dry off and get dressed.
“Man, what am I going to do?” She asked Pharaoh exasperated. He just looked at her and whined, his head tilting to the side. She walks out to her living room, Pharaoh following by her feet, she grabs his leash and asks if he wants to go out for a walk. Hoping he would understand.
“Hey, Pharaoh! Want to walk with me? Walk?” She says gently, and his ears perk up and his tail stub starts to wag. He runs toward her and starts jumping around. She smiles, he’s a quick learner. She snaps on the leash and heads out the door to the park. She needed some time to think.
Ashley had woken up quite early in the morning, and he was thinking about what happened the night before. He was really worried about her, and hoped that Jess was alright. She could drink, a lot. He sighed, he was thinking back to what she said to him. Everything made sense after he found out the gist of what happened to her. He wondered if she even remembered the events of last night. He wanted her to tell him what happened on her own accord when she was sober. That’s what he wanted to talk to her about. Sighing, he looked at his phone, it’s been quite some time since he woke up.
“5:00 and not a word from her yet. I hope she’s not avoiding me…”
He decides to shoot her a quick text, to make sure she’s alright. And hopefully she would reply to him.
‘Hey Jess, I hope you’re feeling alright today…call or text me if you want to meet up?’
He pressed send and sighed once again. She was all over his mind, he couldn’t stop thinking about her, and he couldn’t stop caring about her. Something about her just seemed so enticing. She was like a fallen angel to him. Broken, but still hanging on. He smiled at the thought of her being an angel, he liked that name for her.
“I wonder if I should introduce her to the guys yet.” He pondered. He didn’t want to scare her off, knowing why she was initially afraid of men. But maybe he could help her see that not everyone wants to hurt her. He remembered what she asked him while crying, she asked him not to hurt her. It wasn’t even asking, it was her begging, pleading. That made his heart ache for her, she had been treated so badly that she couldn’t even tell him, she had to plead him not to hurt her. This thought made him angry, not at Jess, but at the person who put his hands on her. The person who broke her. His hands curled into a fist slowly, thinking about how he wanted to beat the shit out of this John guy. He lets out an exhausted sigh, and runs out to go meet with the guys, contemplating if he wanted to tell them about her yet.
A few hours had passed by now, and Jess was still sitting in her special spot. It was dusk now, she noted. Watching Pharaoh play with himself kept her in good spirits for the most part, she loved this little guy. Despite being abused, he still trusted her. She was happy, and maybe she could learn to trust again, just like him.
“Pharaoh!” She called out to him. Stopping what he was doing instantly, he ran over to Jess happily, running into her lap and settling himself onto her. “He’s going to be a giant lap dog in a few years.” She chuckled to herself. Pulling out her phone with her free hand, she noticed that she had gotten a text. Opening it, she saw that it was from Ashley. She dreaded what it would say. Probably something around that he never wanted to see her again, and that she was a mess. But to her surprise, he was asking if she was alright, and he wanted to see her today. She quickly replied.
“Hey…sorry for the late reply, I’m at the park with Pharaoh. I’m alright, thanks for checking up on me, and if you’d like to meet me by the park, I’d like that :)”
Not more than a few minutes later she got a reply saying that he would be there soon. She smiled, but it soon faltered thinking about what he might say to her. She resumed petting Pharaoh, who had once again fallen asleep. Looking up at the sky, it was now a pink hue with orange illuminated clouds, she sighed and let the wind blow her hair around. She put up her hoodie and waited for a reply from Ashley to find out where she is. Closing her eyes for a bit, enjoying the breeze, she heard footsteps getting closer, she raised an eyebrow and opened her eyes, turning her head in the direction of the sound. She let out a small gasp.
“How’d you find me?” She questioned the rock clothed man.
“Wild guess.” He smirked and sat down next to her. Ashley decided not to let her know this is where he first laid his eyes on her. That would be his secret, for now.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a train, but I’m hanging in there.” She smiled slightly. Wrapping her arms around herself and crossing them, like she always does around people. It’s not that she didn’t trust him, she did a little bit at least, but she was still nervous. Ashley seemed to notice this and finally spoke what was on his mind.
“You know, I’m not going to hurt you, right?” He looked at her sadly. Sad that she was so afraid of him. He knew it wasn’t just him that she acted like that toward, but he really wanted her to see that there’s nothing to fear from him. He wanted her to trust him and be able to confide in him, he knew that he’d protect her from anything.
She shifted nervously, and brought down her arms a little, relaxing herself a tiny bit.
“Yeah…I’m sorry I don’t mean to be closed off…it’s just that I’m not used to it…” She trailed off.
Ashley tilted his head in question.
“Not used to what?” He pressed on, wanting to hear it for himself, even though he already had an idea.
Looking at him with her eyebrows furrowed into a sad expression she let out a quiet sigh.
“Guys being so nice to me…”
He looked at her sadly and scooted a bit closer to her, taking her hand and placing it between his own. He looked at her crystal eyes, silently willing her to trust him. She seemed to notice this and looked down out of nervousness once again. He took one of his hands, and slowly placed it on the side of her head, stroking her hair and massaging it a bit. She looked back up at him, solemnly. He took this as an opportunity to question her about what happened.
“Who’s John…What did he do to you?” He asked softly, squeezing her hand gently.
Her eyes widened, and she quickly looked away from him.
“How much did I say yesterday?” Tears formed in her eyes. He noticed that she looked ashamed. She should be anything but ashamed he thought.
“Enough for me to worry. Please tell me? What happened to you?” He pleaded with her.
Taking a short breath in, Jess hesitated. She wasn’t sure if he’d run away from her after finding out the truth. She was used, and she was worthless. In her mind she was at least.
“You really want to know what happened to me?” Ashley nodded.
“I…Um, well, I was raped…by two guys. I got too drunk and passed out, I was too trusting back then, and I had just met these guys and decided to hang out with them. So it was my fault from the beginning. Being a big drinker with my usual group of friends, who I trusted with my life, I wasn’t expecting those two to take advantage of me….I passed out, and woke up naked to a guy by the name of john…uh going at it…and I tried to tell him to stop, I kept saying no! But he wouldn’t hear it he kept going, and I was too weak to push him off, I was still very drunk, I remember crying and then blacking out. The next time I woke up, I woke up choking on someone’s dick that was the other guy. By that time I was able to get away, I pushed him off and ran to get my clothes and got out as quick as I could. If you want to leave me you can though, I understand. I’m used up, and weak. I shouldn’t have let it happen. It’s all my fault. Do you know how it feels to be raped, and by not one, but two guys?” Silent tears began to fall from her face, looking straight out to the sky almost emotionless.
Ashley noticed how she tried to be strong in front of him, but he moved closer and embraced her in a loving hug. Placing his lips on her temple before he pulled away.
“It’s not your fault, Jess. It’s not. You’re not used up! You are the sweetest, most gentle person I have ever met. And you know what?”
“I think you are one of the strongest people that I have ever met. No one should have to deal with that, you didn’t deserve it, and you certainly are not used up.” He said as he wiped her tears with the knuckle of his forefinger.
Jess looked up at him like she couldn’t believe what he said to her. She wanted to believe him, she really did.
“I know you might not believe me, but I’m going to help you get through this, ok? You need someone right now, you can lean on me, and I’ll support you through it all.” He said smiling, trying to give her hope. She looked at him, trying to process what he said. She couldn’t believe it, she really wanted to. Maybe he would be able to help her.
Ashley stared at her, looking into her eyes, trying to figure out if she believed him. And then, in that moment he was captivated by her beauty, he didn’t know how else to make her smile, so he took a shot, and leaned in closer to her slowly, bringing his lips to hers. Giving her a tender, innocent kiss. As he pulled away, he was glad to see a small shy smile forming on her lips. She looked at him, and then back down at his lips, going in for a kiss this time, allowing him to deepen it, as he leaned forward on top of her, causing her to lay down and him to be completely on top. His hands tangled in her soft hair, grabbing at it gently, making her moan. He pulled away, and brushed her hair out of her eyes, looking at her lovingly. He sat up and pulled her with him as well, and positioned her so that she was in between his legs leaning on his chest for support. Gently he wrapped his arms around her waist and put his head on top of hers.
“I’ll help you through this.” He stated, while gripping her tighter, and placed another kiss on the side of her cheek.
“Thank you Ash, thank you.” She trailed off, smiling and enjoying the moment as the stars shone brightly over them. Seemingly having new life breathed into them. Like a new outlook on everything.
Pharaoh had woken up, and decided that it was time to cuddle with his friends too, so he placed himself in the middle trying to squirm in between. Making both Jess and Ashley laugh and make room for him too.