Uncovering the Past
Jess had begun her walk back home, she was once again lost in her thoughts. Looking up at the autumn sky, focusing on the contrast of the white branches of the birch trees and the orange leaves against a blue cloudless sky, she thought back to the man that she had just encountered.
“Ashley is a pretty interesting name for a guy, you don’t hear too many men with that name.” She thought to herself, but she smiled.
She was one to find interesting people, after all, her friends were the most unique group of people on the planet and open minded. She sighed, she really missed them, but she needed to get out of that state. She couldn't deal with the memories as much as her friends were her family, she had to leave. She had an interesting feeling about Ashley, he seemed to be interested in her company, and she was glad. She had been rather lonely, craving for human contact in these last few months. But the fact that he was interested in her company scared her, and she wasn't sure what to do or think.
“Maybe you can learn to trust again, Jess. He seems like a nice guy, maybe he won’t hurt you.” She thought wearily. She made her decision, she’d give him a chance, despite what her usual gut would tell her to go against.
Jess walked into her house deciding to change into something more fit to go out in. She walked to her room, pulling out a drawer that was finished to make the wood look decayed. She had always liked the old Gothic antique look. Searching through her drawer, she found a tight thin black sweater with an Ouija board design on the front of it in bold white. She tossed that onto her bed and pushed through the back of her drawer for her favorite black skinny jeans, with two zippers on the front on each pant leg. She smiled as she found them tossing them onto the bed as well as her studded belt with tiny skulls in between.
Quickly she stripped off her former clothes and put on her pants, and top. Looking in the mirror, she decided to revamp her make up quickly, putting more foundation powder on her face to keep it even, and adding more black eye shadow to the corners of her smoky eyes. She finished it off with a deep plum lipstick shade. Tilting her head, she half smiled sadly.
“I wish I was prettier…” She trailed off quietly, frowning at her reflection. Sighing, she pushed off her dresser and went to the kitchen. She slowly walks to the freezer, opening it to see just 3 box meals under 300 calories. She looked at them longingly, she wanted to eat, but she couldn’t bring herself to until she was about to faint. Only then would she allow herself the calories.
You see, Jess had picked up the sickness after that night happened to her. She had been called fat and asked by the bastard why she didn’t look like the model he was staring at on the computer. She already had issues with the way she looked, the one thing she didn’t need to hear came straight out of his mouth.
“Hey, Jess, why don’t you look like that?” The bastard smirked looking for a reaction from her. She only looked down sadly and whispered “I don’t know John…”
She had wanted to cry when he said that. She didn’t even know why she hung out with him, she barely knew him. But she was a friendly girl, in the beginning. She trusted too much.
Jess shivered at the memory, although it was 3 years ago, she remembered the bastard and what he did like it was yesterday. Closing the freezer in a daze, she went to the scale, she had a compulsive habit of constantly weighing herself. No matter how skinny she got, the number was still not enough to her, all she could see was fat and imperfection. She winced as she looked down at the number.
“101 pounds…” She wanted to cry, it wasn’t enough for her. She still felt like a giant. Tears pricked her gentle eyes. Getting off the scale quickly, she shook off her feelings.
“I should call Ashley now, don’t want him to think I disappeared on him now would I?” She put on a smile, happy to have changed her thoughts to something else to distract her.
She Picked up her phone, and tapped his contact number and waited for him to pick up.
“Hello?” He answered
“Hey it’s Jess from earlier!” She laughed.
“Oh shit! Hey, I thought you were planning to never call me again.” He joked
“Oh no, why would I do that? Well, anyway I wanted to know if you wanted to come over for a little bit before we go to the shelter. I mean only if you want to.”
“Of course I want to, Hun! Just give me your address and I’ll be right there.”
Jess smiled, he was a sweetie, he called her Hun, and she liked that. She proceeded to give him her address.
“I’ll be over in about five minutes. See you soon, Jess.”
She smiled, she was actually happy that he was coming over. “Is this what being normal feels like again?” She wondered, she wasn’t as terrified of him as she normally would be of men.
Turning on her TV she sat on her couch, which was a large, fluffy, soft, black design. The cushions seemed to pull you into it.
“I hope this isn’t a mistake.” She whispered quietly, she wanted to go against her fearful judgment. The last time she had done that, it landed her in that terrifying position, that led to the incident.
Hearing the doorbell, she got up quickly, and opened the front door, smiling shyly.
“Hi…” She said quietly, staring at him. “God, he is so sexy!” She thought to herself.
“Happy to see me?” Ashley questioned, propping one arm above him onto the ledge of the door and leaning slightly on it.
“Um, yeah. I am actually.” She replied, trying not to swoon over his obvious charm. She put on a wide smile and welcomed him in.
“Please, come in. I just need to get a few things, and I’ll be ready to go.”
He nodded and smiled, making himself at home and plopping right down on the couch. Jess had noticed this, and chuckled. “He’s very outgoing, I see. Makes himself right at home.”Thinking to herself, she quickly went to grab her purse, and put her necessities into it, searching for her wallet.
Ashley was sitting on the couch not really paying attention to the TV, but instead looking around the small, but cozy living room. He thought that she had interesting taste in furniture, noticing that the tables were finished to look like paint chipped, and decayed wood. He also noticed the Gothic crosses embellished onto them. He got up to go look for her, slowly walking to where he guessed her room would be, he found her frantically looking for her wallet. This amused him because she was halfway under her bed, and her legs kicking around a bit. She was absolutely adorable. He let out a deep chuckle and spoke up.
“Looking for something?” He raised his eyebrows at her as she slid out from the under part of the bed. She looked up at him startled to find him there. Nervously laughing, she muttered out a tiny “Wallet…Lost it.”
Ashley began to laugh, he decided to help her look for it, low and behold he found it on her desk right under some CD’s. He reached out to get it, noting her choice in music was pretty awesome. It seemed like she liked KoRn and the Murderdolls the most. He wondered if he should tell her about his band yet. He was slightly surprised that she didn’t seem to recognize him. “I wonder if she’s heard of my band, she must have at some point.” He thought to himself.
Grabbing the wallet with a smirk. “Looking for this?” he said waving it around between his first two fingers, eyebrows raised.
“Oh! Shit! You found it! Thank you” She smiled taking the wallet from his hands and putting it into her purse.
“Where was it?”
“Right under your CD’s on the desk. Great taste in music by the way.” He smiled.
“Oh, haha, thank you. Well, um are you ready to go then?” She asked him.
“Sure thing, and we can take my car, if you’d like. I’ll drive.”
“Okay.” She smiled walking with him out the door. She saw a black car out in the front. A black mustang.
“That’s a sexy car you have there.” She said impressed. Ashley simply smirked and put on his sunglasses and said “Thanks.” While opening passenger side door for her.
He walked off to the other side and started up the engine. Jess grabbed her purse and shifted through it to find her pack of Marlboro cigarettes.
“Do you mind if I smoke in here?” She questioned.
“Yeah sure thing, do you mind if I bum one off of you though?” He asked while taking out his lighter.
“No problem.” She answered putting the cigarette in her mouth, searching for her lighter.
“I got it, he said as he pulled out the lighter to light the cigarette for her. He noted that she was blushing slightly. He smiled inwardly. She was just too cute.
“Thanks.” She said while grabbing one out of her pack for him, handing it to him. He gladly took it and lit it up for himself, opening the windows to let the smoke out.
“So, would you like to direct me? I still am not sure where anything is.”
“Yeah of course.” Jess pointed out the directions while they were driving. She enjoyed the wind in her hair and the sights that they passed by. While she was looking out the window, she hadn’t noticed that Ashley would steal glances at her every so often. Admiring her long black hair blowing in the wind, showing her beautiful face to him more. He wondered how soft it would feel if he ran his fingers through it. He craved to touch her, and he wanted to get to know her much more. “How could such a beautiful girl be single?” He pondered.
Slowly she looked back at him briefly, before turning her attention to the window in front of her. Smiling softly. She enjoyed being in his company, which was new for her. Though she still held onto herself in nervousness. Not allowing her to fully trust him just yet. Her head perked up and she lifted her hand to point straight ahead.
“It’s right over there.”
With a nod, he slowed down and found a place to park, and got out of the car. Before she had the chance to go for the handle, her door had already been opened. She looked up at him smiling.
“Why thank you.”
“Of course, pretty lady.” She blushed once again. She wasn’t used to being called pretty or anything of the sort. Ashley seemed to notice that, and smiled softly, extending a hand to help her get out.
The both of them walked to the shelter entrance, being met by a bunch of animals in their respective places. The man behind the desk greeted them.
“Looking to adopt?” He asked.
“Um, yes…I was looking for a puppy.” She answered, the unknown man’s presence made her kind of uncomfortable, as she wrapped her arms around herself and crossed them, looking at the ground once again. Ashley seemed to notice this and put a gentle hand on her shoulder, looking down at her with a comforting smile. She smiled back, and followed the man to where the puppies were kept.
Ashley was starting to wonder more and more why she seemed to be so afraid of people, her body language told it all. She seems to keep herself closed off. He kept his hand on her shoulder and gently guided her to where the man was walking.
“Well, these are our pups, let me know if you would like to see one.” The employee stated and walked back to the desk after Ashley had nodded to him in acknowledgement.
He carefully watched Jess as she went right up to the last cage, and was examining a cute little Doberman puppy. The pup was off in the corner, and she tried to get it to come closer to her. He perked up his pointy little ears, and looked at her with brown eyes. Jess noticed that he seemed to be afraid, as he was hesitant to come near her and looked down at the floor again.
“Hey little guy, come here.” She pleaded gently as she got on her knees, trying to be level with him so he wouldn’t be as scared. He slowly got up and walked to her, slightly wagging his stub of a tail. She put her hand through the bars and allowed him to lick her hand. The little pup suddenly got more comfortable and happier as she started petting him gently.
“You remind me of me, little one.” She said quietly. Not quietly enough though, Ashley had heard her say this and tilted his head in curiosity. But he was soon brought out of his thoughts.
“Hey, Ash, come look at this little guy, isn’t he the sweetest?” She looked up at him as he walked over next to her to greet the puppy as well. He noticed that the pup was slightly intimidated by him standing up, so he brought himself down to his level and put his hand out in front of him. The little guy instantly became happy and went right over to him, licking his hand as well. Ashley smiled. This guy was cute as hell, he seemed a bit skittish, but he was adorable.
“Want me to go ask the guy for this one?” He said as he got up from next to Jess, she nodded appreciatively. Thing is she couldn’t really bring herself to talk to the man behind the counter. He reminded her of how John looked.
“Thanks, Ash.” She said happily, going back to petting the little guy. Moments later the guy walked in and instantly commented on the interaction between the two.
“My! I haven’t seen this one warm up to anyone since he got here.”
“Why’s that?” Ashley asked.
“Oh, well this little guy was taken from an abusive home, he didn’t trust anyone that came near him. I don’t blame the poor pup.” He said solemnly.
Both Ashley and Jess’s eyes furrowed in sympathy. Suddenly Jess got up.
“I’ll take him!” She smiled brightly.
The man took the little one out of the cage and put a leash on him, and handed it to Jess.
“Just follow me to the front and I’ll give you the papers and an overview of everything. Jess followed the man, waiting for Ashley to catch up. They both walked to the counter and she signed everything that needed to be done.
The two of them walked out, Jess’s smile beaming brightly. Which made Ashley smile as well. “Man her real smile is breathtaking.” He thought happily to himself as they walked back to the car. He had noticed that her smiles were usually empty, as if she wanted to be happy but didn’t know how.
“So Jess, what are you gonna name him?”
She picked up the pup, and looked at him lovingly. She tilted her head up and started thinking.
“Hmm, do you think Pharaoh is a good one? I’ve always liked Egyptian themes, and plus, he looks like a dog of royalty.”
“I think it suits him perfectly.” He smiled. Opening the car door, he got in and waited for Jess to sit, and put Pharaoh on her lap. The pup licked her face and settled down and rested his head on her lap.
“He’s pretty calm around you.” Ashley stated.
“I’m glad, I knew he was the one as soon as I saw him, and as soon as I heard his story, I made up my mind instantly. This little one just tugs at my heart strings.” She looked down at the pooch lovingly, like a mother would a child.
He noticed that she had a very gentle nature, which made her all the more sweeter to him. He wanted to know her, and he wanted to figure her out. “What happened to you?” He thought to himself, starting the car up. Driving back to Jess’s place with her directions.
They get back to her place, and she welcomes him inside once again, carrying Pharaoh with her and placing him on her bed falling asleep instantly.
“He’s a sleepy one isn’t he?” He chuckles.
“Yeah, I’m happy to give him a home. I’ll finally have some company when I’m alone.” She says going to the fridge, opening it.
Ashley follows her to the kitchen and notices that there’s not much food in it, mostly beer and bottles of drinks. She turns around and offers him a choice of beer or Jack, he gladly accepts the beer. And she takes out a shot glass for herself and pours some Jack in it, while also grabbing a beer.
“I take it you like to drink?” He asks her as he goes to sit down on the couch, Jess following behind him.
“Hell yeah I do, and I gotta love the whiskey!” She says happily, taking a seat across from him.
“Gotta love a whiskey girl.” He winks at her and she looks down, and decides to drink her shot. She smiles at him, taking another sip from the bottle instead of her glass now.
“So tell me about yourself, Hun.” He asks while leaning back on the couch spreading his arms out on the upper part. Jess looks at him and marvels at his good looks and charm.
“Well, I like the color Black obviously, um, I moved here three years ago, leaving behind all of my friends, but I needed a change in scenery, ya know?” She says while taking another swig from the bottle.
“Damn girl, you can drink.” Ashley says nodding to the bottle.
“I’ve been drinking since I was 15. What can I say?” She smiles while taking a few more gulps. She figured she needed a bit of liquid courage, so she could actually be comfortable and not hint off anything. She didn’t want him to leave thinking that she was inept at being able to talk to people properly.
“Why are you sitting so far away from me?” He asks her, worried that he was freaking her out.
She looked up a bit surprised, but decided to get up and sit next to him on the couch. He smiles at her and says “Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
She looks back at him, shaking her head while pulling out another cigarette from her box, and offers him one as well, which he gladly accepts.
They had been talking for a few hours after that, and Jess was beginning to feel more comfortable around him. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or not but she didn’t question it. She felt comfortable with a man for once in three years. She excused herself to grab one last beer for herself but as she was stumbling she tripped over her own feet.
“Aw fuck!” She exclaimed, slurring her words, laying on the floor giving up.
“Maybe you shouldn’t drink anymore?” Ashley suggested. Pulling her up from the ground.
“Yeah maybe.” She says swaying around as she stands up and falls down again as soon as Ashley went to put his drink down. He looks at her amused, but also worried.
“Um, shit ok, I’m drunk..I’m going…bed. It’s nice hanging with you. But I’ll see you tomorrow?”
She drunkenly slurs, closing her eyes, deciding that the floor was a nice place to nap.
“You are definitely gonna feel that in the morning.” He says to her as he bends down to pick her up. He places his hands behind her knees, and the other hand behind her back, picking her up in a cradling position. Carrying her to her room and placing her in bed, with her new found puppy friend. Tucking her in, he pauses and sits by the edge of her bed. He looks at her, admiring her face of astounding beauty. He leans over to brush her hair out of her face, and lets his fingers linger on her cheek.
“Damn you are fucking cute.” He whispers more to himself. He sits quietly watching her chest rise and fall with even breaths. Until she begins to stir, her face contorting. She begins making little sounds and starts saying “No, John, I don’t want that…No…Please, no.”
Ashley’s attention was now peaked. Who was John? And what did he do to her? He looked down at her she was now sitting up with little tears trailing down her face. She gets up as quickly as her drunken stupor will let her and rushes to the bathroom, letting out all the excess alcohol she consumed. She plants her face on the bowl, and closes her eyes, waiting for another wave of nausea to come. She then realizes that someone is holding her hair back, and gently rubbing her back comfortingly. She looks over to find Ashley sitting with her, comforting her. She starts crying even more.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. You can’t see me like this, I’m disgusting.” She sobs.
He keeps rubbing her back, shushing her.
“It’s ok Jess, you’re ok. It happens when you drink like a champ.” He says trying to lighten the mood. He wanted her to stop crying, he felt his heart ache for her. She seemed like she was in so much pain. She laughed a little, but continued crying.
I’m sorry…” She whimpered.
“Why are you sorry? It’s nothing to be ashamed about, I can’t tell you how many drunk stories that I have.” He said.
She just looked at him weakly, still sobbing. He caught a few words that she had spoken. It was along the lines of “Can’t…trust…men…all…want…use me...drunk….advantage…my fault.” His eyes widened in realization. She was date raped. He hugged her tightly, as she sat in his lap trying to quiet her cries. She looked up at him slowly and spoke in the quietest voice possible.
“Please don’t hurt me, I couldn’t take it if it happened a third time. I know I’m not good enough and I deserved it, just please….I want to trust you but it’s hard for me.”
Ashley sat there in shock, and tried to hide his anger. Someone had hurt her, and put their hands on her when she was helpless. How dare they break this wonderful woman’s spirit. He gently grabbed her face and wiped her tears with his thumbs, and looked at her crystal eyes with understanding and sympathy. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“I promise I won’t ever hurt you, Jess. I want to protect you. You’re too sweet. You didn’t deserve what happened. It’s not your fault.” He cooed, bringing her head under his chin, and stroking the back of her head. She seemed to have stopped crying, and he looked down at her to find her finally knocked out. He got up and carried her to her room, tucking her in once again. He would ask her about it tomorrow. He noted that she was extremely light as well. He sighed and hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was from.
He placed a loving kiss on her head, and swept her hair behind her ears, looking at her with caring eyes. Before he left for the night, he decided to find her some Tylenol, and leave a large glass of water for her on her night stand. Along with a little note.
Hey Jess, I hope you’re feeling better. I left because I didn’t want to freak you out by staying uninvited, there’s something I want to ask you…call me when you want to tomorrow.
P.S. You ARE beautiful. Remember that please.
Well here's the second chapter...hope it's alright >.>