I love you more than I could ever scream

Jinxs pov*
I couldn't think of anything to say.
I didn't know what to do.
Jake said hes sorry.
Why was he sorry? Its not his fault that he has feeling for me or whatever...
I can't "get mad" at him, be disappointed, nothing like that because thats what Andy did to me so many times.
''Its ok Jake."
"Are you sure, Jake started "I don't want this to ruin anything between us, like our friendship.."
"It wont," I smiled, "I mean, you did save me.." I trailed off.
Jake stayed quiet, so I just walked out into the living room.
Of course! Andy and Ashley were sucking face.
I didnt care anymore. I threw a plastic cup at them to see if they'd come up for air.
Nope.
I decided to go back into the room, I pulled Jake by his collar and kissed him.
He started running his fingers through my hair, it felt good..
Then he pulled away and turned his head like he was ashamed.
"Jake?"
"Jinx, I don't want you to kiss me because you feel feel bad for me. You don't have to act like Andy."
That made me pissed. But instead of saying anything I bit my tongue.
*Cc's pov*
Later that night we all went to a bar. Little did anyone know. I knew everything. Because Jake told me everything, we were surprisingly close. No one knew though.
Anyway I got shit faced drunk. Everyone else (i was told) Only got a bit buzzed.
But Bryan Stars called us up for a Live Interview. He didn't know we went to a bar. But i guess he knew I was drunk, as tipsy as I was.
Bryan asked "Any secrets in Black Veil Brides?"
I started talking uncontrollably.
"Yeah, Um, Actually, Andy and Ashley are kinda a "thing". Jinx is in love with Andy, But Andy only uses Jinx. So Jinx cut Andys name into his stomach and was in the hospital for a week. And Jake is in love with Jinx., Beat up Ashley for Andy, And almost beat up Andy for Jinx. And me, No one gives a fuck about me!" Than I kissed Jake and walked out of the R.V.
Outside of the door, I just started laughing and I dont know why.
*Next day*
I woke up with a pounding headache. I started to think about last night. I remembered everything clearly. So I decided to see if it was all true, Yup.
ALL over the internet.
Oh my god.
I wanted to get noticed, but not this way!
Fuck my life.
When I walked into the living room all the guys were sitting on the couch. Literally just staring at the wall,
"Um.. hey guys." I slowly said.
They all turned in unison staring at me with death glares. Except Jake, his was more ''disappointed/I don't trust you anymore'' kind of look.
"Look guys, I'm sorry. I'll do anything I can to try to fix it. I'll go on another interview and say I just said all of that because I was drunk. I'm so sorry guys.."
Andy replied "Its cool Cc, We'll fix it somehow."
Than Ashley said "Yeah, If are fans are true ones, they wont mind."
I was so relieved that they didn't like, hate me. I ended up sitting down with them and we watched tv for awhile.
A little later Jake pulled me outside.
"Cc.. I just wanna know why you kissed me. Because you were drunk? Or....?" He paused then said "I mean, I wouldn't mind either way. I just need to know.''
"Honestly Jake, I don't know what was going through my mind at that point, or what I was doing. But, I know what I'm about to do know."
I pulled Jake towards me and kissed him. He didn't pull away which kinda made me smile.
We made out for like, 10 minuets. We ended up silently walking inside and going to our rooms without a word.
Although I was a little disappointed about that, I was so happy that I kissed him and he didn't mind it.
I was trying not to get my hopes up, like thinking he
''liked me back'' or anything. Because he probably didn't. But I got my hopes up anyway.
And they were brutally stomped on because I walked in on Jinx and Jake making out.
Fuck.
There should seriously be locks on these doors.
But they didn't notice me so I decided to keep it that way. I slowly closed the door and went to my room and layed on the bed staring at the roof.
Were going on tour soon.
We gotta get all this shit figured out.
Everyone will probably be with someone, and me... well, I'll be the one that no one notices, thinks about, nothing. Just like it use to be.
It's not that I'm not used to it, I just learned to accept that that's the way things are going to be.
And I cant change that.
I wish they all realized how important I am to this band, no one notices that I'm even important at all. I wish our fans realized that too.
I sighed, rolled over, and cried myself to sleep. Just like I do every other night.

Notes

Hope you guys like it c: sorry it took so long for me to update. But I finally did it d: