Second Chances

I looked up at Jinxx, with almost no emotion. He pressed a cloth to the fresh cuts, stopping the bleeding. Jinxx didn’t say anything while he cleaned and wrapped the cuts, but I knew that he would as soon as he was satisfied that they had stopped bleeding. “Chase, explain this…”

“There’s nothing to explain.” I stared at my lap, trying not to look at Jinxx at all.

“If it was nothing, you wouldn’t have done this. Now, what happened?” I sighed when he all but ordered me to tell him. He didn’t change much from when we were younger.

“Don’t tell Jashire…I have separation issues. If I’m left alone for too long…I end up getting trapped in my own head. And I feel like I have no control over anything, so the physical pain that I get from this.” I motioned to my wrist as I spoke, “Is the only thing which lets me get control.” Jinxx didn’t say anything for a while, and when I thought he was just going to leave he pulled me to him.

“You don’t need to cut to feel in control.” To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I knew people who cut, and everyone they told said that they only did it for attention. So having my brother not call me an attention seeking child was different. “You have to stop this. And if you don’t you’ll just end up cutting deeper and deeper just to feel this little bit of pain.”

“It’s not about wanting to kill myself…”

“I didn’t say it was, but promise me you’ll stop.” I looked up at him and sighed.He just stared at me until I nodded.

“I’ll try.”

“Good, that’s all I ask kid. How about you go get dressed before Ashley comes over here and sees that you’re also a fan of his?” I looked down to see what I was wearing before I blushed lightly and laughed.

“Yeah, I guess I should.” I got up and went to the bunks, pulled out random clothes and went into the bathroom. I changed into short ripped black jean shorts and a thin black shirt that could be technically counted as a sweater. I kept the hat and knee high socks on, and went back out to the lounge, all but curling up against my brother’s side. Jinxx turned the DVD player and TV back on and played Mama again. I wasn’t really paying too much attention to the movie, since I was still hyped up from earlier.

“Relax Chase, just stop thinking about it.” I looked up at Jinxx and shook my head.

“What you can read my mind now?”

“I always have if you remember.” I laid my head on his shoulder and yawned. “If you’re tired you should sleep.”

“No…sleeping means being forced to remember what happened. I don’t want to think about any of that.”

“Do you need one of your band mates then?”

“Pack…we’re a pack. Can you get Elk for me?” He nodded and stood up. “Jer…I want you here too.”

“Of course.” Once he walked off the bus, the urge to cut came back almost stronger than before. I looked through the bunks and found a rubber band and started snapping it against my unmarked wrist. The effect wasn’t what I was looking for, but it did calm the urge a little bit making it a bit easier to deal with. I got so caught up in the endorphin rush from the pain that once again, I didn’t realize that Jinxx and Elk were on the bus. Instead of Jinxx stopping me, Elk did. He simply put his hand over mine and took the rubber band off my wrist.

“He told me what you did. You have to stop, even this.” He held up the rubber band, “You can cause a lot of damage with this. Once you really start self-harming you’re not going to be able to break free of its hold that easily.”

“I’ve been doing this since I was ten Elk…Nine years of self-harm and-”

“And it’s going to stop now.” Jinxx and Elk made a great team when it came to not letting me get away with any kind of self-harm. “I’ll start checking your wrists every day if I have to Havic. I’m sure your brother will be more than happy to do the same thing. It’s not worth it, I mean you work at a tattoo parlor and you know that it’s a healthy alternative to cutting.”

“Yeah but…”

“No, you’re not allowed to self-harm at all.”

“You know, I don’t appreciate both my brothers ganging up on me.” I glared at them but agreed to try to quit cutting.

“Aww she finally admits that she likes me more than Jazz. She really does have a heart.” I glared at Elk and tackled him to the floor, making Jinxx jump out of the way of us. Elk and I ‘wrestled’ on the floor for about five minutes before he flipped our positions and had me pinned down, my hands pinned to the floor above my head by just one of his.

“This is cheating…” I struggled against Elk’s hold before looking pleadingly up at Jinxx. “Jer, help me.”

“And be on the receiving end of the devils glare? No thank you.” Both me and Elk broke out laughing at what Jinxx said.

“Wow, so I could be getting raped and just because people know I’m close with this idiot they’d just sit back and watch. Thanks Elk.”

“Oh, by the way the video I just took is now online.” Jinxx held his cell out to us so we could watch the video. It was just of the ‘fight’ Elk and I had and then me complaining how it was cheating that he had pinned me to the floor. “Don’t worry, you’re both tagged in it on twitter.”

“You know, I don’t like you anymore.” My brother laughed before holding his hand out to me, offering to help me get up. I took his hand without question, and was pulled into a hug.

“You’re so much prettier smiling and laughing than you are depressed.” I blushed deeply and buried my face in his neck.

“You’re mean…” the two guys laughed at my reaction before moving back to the couch with me between them. I knew Jinxx was going to make me tell him what happened eventually, but for now he seemed content to just know that I was more or less alright. And despite not wanting to, I ended up falling asleep leaning against my brother with my legs on top of my best friend.

I woke up a few hours later when the bus was moving and more than just two people talking. My head was on Jinxx’s lap, while my legs were still over Elk. I sighed and looked around before sitting up. “Aww the princess is finally awake.” I shot Ashley a bored look and flipped him off.

“You’d be tired too if you were suffering from insomnia, asshole.” I was more or less a complete bitch when I woke up, no matter how long I slept for.

“Someone, just give her an Amp. She’ll wake up and be much more pleasant.” I looked over at Kaim and blushed lightly.

“Shut up Kai…” He laughed and tossed me the Amp. I downed it in just under a minute and sighed contently before stretching. “So is everyone else over on your bus then?”

“Yup, it’s just the five of us over here. Jinxx thought that we should hang out, you know get to be friends?”

“Yeah, friends with you…as much fun as that sounds I’d rather not pick up any strays.” Kaim and Elk laughed at Ash. It was horrible, I flirted with just about every single guy I met but showed absolutely no interest in dating anyone.

“You’ll learn not to take everything our alpha says personally. She doesn’t know how to play nice with others.” And that was how the night went. Me and Ash bickering over the stupidest things while Elk, Kaim and Jinxx made fun of us. I realized that the small pack I had ‘created’ was officially growing and adding five new members, and surprisingly I was okay with it. Yeah things were going to be hard, but at least we’d have fun doing this tour with the other half of our pack, our family.

Notes

It legit took me all day to write this, so I'm going to assume that it's going to take about a full day to write each chapter from here on out. So weird fact I learned today..."In England, you may urinate anywhere, in public, including inside a policeman's helmet if you are pregnant." Yeah so that's something to think about the next time you are in England.
Anyway, shout out time!

@jacklepenguins
I'm trying, but with all the shit going on it does get hard. Thanks for staying with the story though!

@Erylis
Sleep is very important or I end up being like Elk haha. Thanks for caring though. It means a lot to me <3

@Lucas_lakoyah1015
#LUSH you too hun.

@EmotionalAngel
Aww thank you! But I think you're better just cuz you're still reading this ^_^

@IlovAshleyPurdy
Glad you enjoy the story!

@Insertsarcasmhere
I legit laughed so hard at your comment. Glad you love the story.

I write for you guys, so be happy haha. Ugh, I'm so not in the mood for people's bullshit tonight...Gonna start on the next chapter, but may not update until tomorrow. I love you guys, you're all fucking awesome!