Sweet Blasphemy

The first thing I am cognizant of is a throbbing pain in the back of my head. I groan softly, and I feel something soft and feathery brush across my face. It tickles my nose and distracts me from the pain for a second, so I bite down on it, unable to move my arms yet but still wanting to hold onto it.
I hear the soft rustle of something and someone brushes my hair out of my face.
“She’s beautiful,” a man’s voice murmurs.
There’s a brief silence. I suck on the feather and make a small noise as more feathers caress my skin. “Yes,” another man says, sounding like he’s having trouble getting the words out of his mouth. “She always was, but she definitely aged well.”
The clinking of glasses tinkles through my mind. They sound like wind chimes. Wind chimes, and feathers are all that fills my mind. I am tired. I snuggle into the softness of my pillow, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in the back of my skull. My pillow rumbles as I hear slight laughter come from one of the men, the first man. I only realize that my “pillow” is the chest of one of the men when I feel it rising and falling, when I feel the tide of his breathing under my cheek.
I open my eyes.
I am indeed sucking on a feather, a black feather. I pull it out of my mouth and examine it. Immediately, it dries and shines blue-black. Mesmerized, I run my finger down it, watching as flashes of iridescent green and pink appear and then vanish yet again. I let go of the feather, and push off of the man I am resting my head on. I am expecting it to be Andy.
It is a man that I have never seen before in my life.
I fly back, scrambling away from the man in panic. What the hell is going on? Why does my head hurt so bad? Who is he?
Where am I?
I try to stand up and run out of the unfamiliar room, but the man grabs my wrist in his hand and pulls me back to him. I can feel his lips against my ear, and he remarks, “What a curious creature you are” and then trails his finger down my cheek and neck.
I make a shriek of indignance and try to pull away, or hit him, or do something, but suddenly I am encompassed by black curtains, and all of my fear leaves my body.
Unable to see the man’s face, I examine the black curtains placidly. Upon further investigation, it is clear that they are not curtains at all, but wings. Wings full of iridescent, shimmering black feathers, like the one I had been sucking on. I make a noise of interest, and turn around to face the man. This, he allows. He releases me, and I am able to get a good look at him, devoid of all fear and reason, mild curiosity my only emotion.
He is beautiful.
He has got red eyes, red like blood and rubies. They glimmer scarlet through a tangle of black hair that hangs in his face, contrasting his pure white skin. His lips are full, and they appear to be wet. For some reason, I get the sudden urge to lean forward and lick them. The man smiles at me, but I do not smile in response. I am too busy looking at him. He is without a shirt, only wearing faded blue jeans to cover his long legs. I take him in. Before I can really focus in on his chest, I notice that there are wings protruding from his back, black wings. I inhale, and I finally realize that he has wrapped his wings around me.
“Angel,” I exclaim, my voice raspy and soft. I reach for his wings, but his hands encircle my wrists and he pulls me to him. I make a noise of surprise, and he laughs. He trails a line of kisses down my neck, and then all along my collarbone. Something down inside of me is trying to say something, but I don’t know what. All I can focus on are his lips on my skin, curving down my torso and his hands sliding down the front of my sweatpants.
I gasp out, and I hear the tiniest voice in my head that’s telling me something is wrong. The angel laughs darkly, and after kissing my lower abdomen, pulls away.
I pant, struggling to breathe. Something’s wrong, and I don’t know what. What could possibly be wrong? My cheeks burn red, and I tug my shirt hem back down and lower my eyes.
“Her blush is exquisite,” the man remarks. His ruby eyes sparkle and he cups my face in my hand. “Seraphina Blakeley,” he says my name, taking his time like he is savoring the taste of it on his tongue. “What are you thinking?”
It does not even register to that he is asking me a question. I stare into his blood-red eyes, and suddenly my mind is swirling and I feel like I’m falling inside of them, drowning in their scarlet depths.
“You know she won’t answer you, my lord. Your wings, their magic…” I hear a low voice force out. “She can’t think straight. She is mortal, after all.”
“Right,” the man murmurs. “Would you like me to release her, Sixx?” I can feel his smirk as he buries his face in my neck.
“What I want doesn’t matter,” the other man answers stiffly. The low sound of his voice tugs at something in my memory, something sharp and poignant, but something that I can’t remember. “She’s yours, isn’t she? I’m just your humble servant.”
The angel laughs, and pulls his wings away from my body.
Immediately, I scream. I leap back, falling off of the bed. I do not hit the floor, for someone has caught me. I scream again and claw at their arms, terrified that it is the black-winged angel. I am terrified. I have no idea where I am; the last thing I remember are the guys knocking me out. When my captor does not let me go, I claw at his arms and kick at his ankles. I do not calm down until he says my name.
“You!” I growl in response, and I wrench myself out of his arms. I glare up at Andy. “How dare you show your face in front of me?!?? You, you motherfucking traitor, you pedophile, you wretched, wretched bastard!” I go to hit him, but he steps out of my reach, his blue eyes gleaming with something I can’t place. I lunge for him, infuriated, but the other man catches me from the behind and restrains me. “Let me go!” I shriek, and I try to jam my foot into his crotch.
“She’s adorable, isn’t she, Sixx?” the angel laughs, his arms pulling me back against him. I start screaming obscenities and shrieking in horror as I feel him against me, as I feel the way he wants me, and how, how his body is responding to it. He is not deterred; he slides my shirt off one shoulder and presses his lips to the now-exposed skin, sucking on it and biting me. I start sobbing, crying, wailing; I’m calling for Andy to save me, crying for Ashley, begging CC to tear this man off of me and kill him.
“Andy! Andy, please help me! Please! Please!” I plead. I see him turn away from me through the blur of my hot tears. Pain and betrayal explode inside of my heart, sharper than I’ve ever known before. “He’s gonna- he’s gonna rape me, you have to help me, Andy!” I am shaking, and the guy is running his hands up and down my sides. “Andy, Andy, Andy!!!!!” I am losing my mind, losing my absolute fucking mind. The dark angel is not stopping; he is tugging my shirt off of my head, catching me when I try to run away. He is ruthless, and I am crying for Andy to save me when Andy was probably the one who brought me here. Him and the other boys who I’d thought were my friends. “I hate you, Andy! I hate you; I hate you; I fucking hate you!”
“It’s kind of better when she screams like this,” the dark angel’s voice floods the room. I claw at his hands as they touch me, but he does not stop. It is like I am not even hurting him. “Go on, scream louder. Scream for me, Sybil. I like the way it sounds.”
“May I leave?” Andy hisses.
“Don’t leave!” I beg him. “Please don’t leave me here, Andy! Please don’t leave me, please stay, please save me, I promise I’ll do everything you tell me to, I won’t ever disobey you again. I’ll do everything you say! I’ll- I’ll never go to school, no one will ever touch me again, Andy please, you can’t let him, you- how can you let him rape me, you were so, so mad when Link tried, how is, how is this any different?!?”
“It’s different because I’m his master,” the dark angel says, pulling my bra down before unclasping it. Despite the fact that I am terrified and disgusted, and all of my memories of Link in the alley are rushing back, the word ‘master’ stops everything for a second.
Master? What the hell does that mean?
“M- master?” I gasp. “What the- who are you?!?!”
“Master, may I please, please leave?” Andy asks again, his tone desperate.
“No,” the dark angel answers silkily. I see Andy’s body tense, and he throws his head back in frustration, but does not go to leave. “You want to know who I am, spirit-seer?” the man shucks my boobs, and laughs when I scream. “I go by many names. Hades, Pluto. Thanatos. Yama, and Naraka in Hinduism. Donn in Celtic mythology; Anubis in Egyptian. The monotheists call me Lucifer. But the name you’d know me by, darling, is probably just Death.”
My heart stops.
Death. Death. Death? Death… is raping me. Death is Andy’s master? Death is a person, a beautiful man with pitch-black wings? Death… Death’s hands are pulling my sweatpants down my hips and down my thighs. Death is taking my clothes off.
“Let me go,” I wail, trying to push his arms back and off of me.
“What do you think, Sixx? Should I let her go for the time being?” Death mused, nipping at the soft skin on the right side of my torso. I whimper in pain. “Should I let her ripen a bit more before I eat her?”
“It doesn’t matter to me!” Andy explodes. “Do whatever you want, she’s yours, just let me leave!”
“No, I think” Death pulls away from me, his touch suddenly gone from my body. When I blink I see him leaning lazily against the door frame, his jeans hanging dangerously low on his hips and his blood red eyes trained on the dark frame on the other side of the room. “I think I’ll leave you here with her. Dress her in appropriate attire, and take her to the refectory when she is more put together. I’d hate it for the degenerates to get the wrong impression. She needs to look… sovereign,” I blink tears out of my eyes and see Death wink at me.
“Yes, my lord,” Andy mutters, still not looking at me.
“I bid thee farewell, then, my lady,” Death murmurs at me and slips through the wall, turning into a ghost and passing through the cold stone like its air.
I cover my boobs with my arm immediately while using the other to lift a blanket up and cover me. When I am covered, I pull my sweatpants back on. Before I can search for my top and bra, Andy is in front of me.
“Get up,” he says flatly. He grabs me and yanks me off of the bed. I squeak and clutch the blanket to my chest. “Come here,” Andy growls, and he drags me over to the wardrobe in the corner. He rips the blanket out of my grasp and stares at my body.
“What the-” I shriek, and try to escape. Andy’s grip on me tightens, and he hisses.
“Shut up,” he commands. With one hand on me, keeping me in place, he opens the wardrobe door and digs through it. He yanks out a red corset with black lace and a diamond patch of fabric between the breasts.
“I’m not wearing that,” I snap out.
Andy’s lip curls up in an inappropriately mischievous smile. “Would you rather stay naked here with me?”
“I’m not naked!” I shout.
“That can easily be fixed,” he says silkily. I gape at him for a second, and go to cover my boobs. Andy takes both of my forearms in his one hand and holds them above my head. Unrecognizable, his eyes roam over my body, and I shiver. “Would you like the corset now, darling?”
“Oh just give it to me,” I snarl. “Let me put the damn corset on, pervert.”
“You heard my lord,” Andy says, his eyes glimmering. “I will dress you. Now close your eyes and suck in your stomach. Hold your arms up like that.”
“I’m not- what would make you think that I’m gonna let you dress me?!?!?” I ask indignantly, struggling to break away from Andy. “I can dress myself, you- you-”
“Stay still, and it’ll be over before you know it,” Andy says darkly. “Just let me do this. If you fight me, I’ll only force it on you, and I really don’t want to bruise you up. I’m sure that my lord wants your skin unmarked.”
“I hate you,” I growl. Andy lets go of my arms and I reach for his throat, trying to strangle him. He laughs and pulls me in, letting me claw at his throat while he bends over, his face in my chest as he slides the open corset into place and starts lacing it up in the back. “Get off of me!!!!” I yell.
“Need help there, Sixx?”
Ashley.
“Go to hell, the both of you!” I exclaim when I feel Ashley’s hands take Andy’s place in lacing me up. Andy pulls my sweatpants down my legs. I scream.
“Where do you think we are, sweetheart?” Ashley murmurs in my ear and yanks me up off the ground so Andy can grab my grey sweatpants and throw them onto the bed. “Where do you think it is that Death lives?”
Before I can answer, he tugs my ties tighter painfully and I make a small noise. Andy gets ruby red skirts out of the wardrobe and slides them up my legs. I squirm as best as I can, trying to ignore the tingles that erupt all over them when his hand brushes my skin. He fastens them once they’re slid under the bottom of my corset. Andy produces black slippers from a drawer in the wardrobe and slips them on my feet. When he’s done, Ashley sets me back down and they both usher me over to the bathroom. All the while, I am alternately cursing and threatening them, and all the while, they are ignoring me. When they shove me in front of the mirror, my jaw drops in horror. My boobs are pushed up and up front and center- I look like a fucking prostitute. I open my mouth to demand that they give me another top, but Andy shuts me up by slicking black lipstick onto my lips. Ashley traces my eyelids with liquid eyeliner and Andy moves on to powdering my face. Just as Ash finishes with the eyeliner, I sneeze.
“I think you’re far prettier without makeup on, but Death likes his ladies all done up,” Ash tells me.
“I don’t give a damn what you think about me,” I hiss. “The both of you are the most vile creatures I’ve ever encountered. You’ve been working for Death this whole time, haven’t you? You were all just stalking me for him, weren’t you? You son of a bitch bastards!”
“Sera, you don’t understand,” Andy mutters, his frustration apparent in his voice.
“What don’t I understand!?” I explode, my anger finally overpowering my confusion. I rip myself away from Andy and Ashley, glaring like there’s no tomorrow. “I understand everything perfectly now! I understand that I’m just a charge, a job to you. I understand that you’re all, you’re all his servants, aren’t you?!? You’re- you’re demons!”
“We are not demons, Sera,” Ashley says sharply.
“Then what are you?” I hiss, my eyes flashing. I feel just about ready to rip both of their heads off and smash them together.
“Fallen angels,” Andy says flatly. His eyes meet mine, and I stop breathing. “We’re fallen angels. Are you happy now?”
“W-what do you mean, fallen angels?” I stammer, pulling my arms up and crossing them over my chest, like that’ll protect me if they decide to attack again.
“We were all cast out of heaven by God. We were forsaken by heaven above; either that, or we left of our own accord,” Andy snaps. He advances on me, and I slam into the wall, backing up out of fear. “You want to know the truth? We did horrible, horrible things, and God disowned us. You think we’re monsters, Sera? You don’t know the half of it! You think we’re scary? You haven’t seen anything yet. And if you keep being difficult-” -Andy grabs my arm and jerks me against him- “-you better prepare to be terrified.”
For a second, my chest heaves with labored breaths. I stare into his eyes, not able to recognize my Andy in their vibrant blue. He breathes against me, and I’m so entranced by the sensation of it that my mind becomes blank. Then, like fingers of ice have just been run down my spine, I shudder and pull away from him.
“I don’t care what you are,” I say quietly. “You will always be the little boy that I grew up with. And I will never be afraid of you.”
With that, I turn. I open the door and leave Andy and Ashley behind in the bathroom. I do not want to go anywhere dressed like this, but I won’t stay in this room with the two men who have betrayed and embarrassed me more than I can ever explain. I wheel over to the wooden door, yank it open (it’s way heavier than you’d think), and pad out onto the lush crimson carpet. I hear Andy and Ashley yelling behind me, so I hike my heavy skirts up past my ankle and burst out into a sprint. I run with no direction, just randomly turning corners, hoping to outrun the two boys sprinting after me. I go for as long as I can, but soon enough, the weight of my petticoats starts taking its toll on me, and I feel someone’s hands grab onto me.
I scream. I scream very loudly, and another hand claps over my mouth, silencing me. I struggle, but I am overpowered very quickly. I can tell that it is Ashley’s hand over my mouth, and that Andy’s hands are restraining me. Ashley’s hands are calloused and strong, and Andy’s are softer and his fingers are longer and thinner.
“Are you done now? Because I can make this torture for you, Seraphina, if that’s what it’ll take for you to cooperate,” Andy growls in my ear. “I can’t have you being an insurgent; people like you are exterminated quickly yet painfully here. If you value your living, breathing body, you will cooperate. You will do whatever Death tells you to do. I don’t care what he asks you to do, Sera, you do it. And this goes beyond whether you hate me or not; it’s a simple fact. You don’t disobey Lord Death.”
“Aiiiwwlllnnottt!” I declare, then bite Ashley’s hand. He removes it, enabling me to speak. “I will not become Lord Death’s slave! I will not be a pathetic servant like you.”
“You already are,” Andy hisses. “If he tells you to dance, you will fucking dance. If he tells you to take off your goddamn clothes, you will. All it takes is for him to wrap his wings around you, and all your inhibitions will vanish.”
I take a second, focusing solely on breathing to calm myself down. I don’t know who this harsh man is. He is not my Andy. He is not the blue-eyed boy who drew on my skin and hugged me and caught me when I tripped and growled whenever Ashley glanced at me. This is someone entirely different. This is some kind of monster.
This can’t be the real Andy.
Can it?
I feel Andy tug me back down the hallway I’d run down before. Ashley is behind me, making sure that I can’t escape again. I should be angry. Instead, my anger has been replaced by something heavier and darker. I am betrayed. I am depressed. I never knew my boys, did I? I couldn’t have. They’re fucking demons. They were just watching over me, getting me to trust them so that they could take me to Death. I want to be enraged. Instead I feel like bawling my eyes out.
The worst part is that the only person who can comfort me is the one who is making me sad in the first place.
“You’ll be dining with Lord Death and his degenerates- that what his posse of fallen angels, demons, and monsters is called- in the refectory. Please make sure not to speak unless you are spoken to,” Ashley says from behind me. “And when you do speak out of turn, I mean, it’s you, of course you will, please try not to offend any vampires. Your blood is fragrant, and I’m sure that they’d jump at the chance to chomp down on the porcelain skin of yours.”
I am silent.
“You are allowed to speak to Lord Death, however,” Andy adds on, “You need to remember to have manners. He is enamored of you, but he is still dangerous, the most dangerous being of all time.”
“He’ll answer any of the questions you may have about… everything,” Ashley says nervously. “Just remember, when you’re asking them… to be reasonable.”
I stop dead in my tracks.
“YOU WANT ME TO BE REASONABLE?!!?!?!?” I explode. “I just got KIDNAPPED by my IMAGINARY FRIENDS and taken to HELL and almost RAPED by Death Himeslf, and YOU WANT ME TO BE REASONABLE?!?!?!?!?!”
“They’re gonna eat her alive,” I hear Andy mutter. Before I can snap out a response, Andy shoves me through an ajar door that I had not noticed due to my indignant rage. I whirl around to yell at him, but the door slams in my face. When I yank on the knob, it’s locked. I pound on the wooden carved door with my fists, screaming and threatening, but no one comes.
Suddenly, I feel a cold chill breathing down my neck. The hairs on my arms raise, and I turn around and see Him standing there.
Death.
He extends His arm for me. I hesitate. I would rather stick my arm into boiling acid than touch him again, but after glancing over at the menacing table of His servants- the degenerates- I shudder and rest my hand on his arm.
He is lean, but muscled. He is a two heads taller than me. I feel dwarfed as He leads me over to the high-backed obsidian chair on His right hand side. After pulling my chair out for me and watching me sit down in it, He takes His place at the head of the table. I sneak a glance over at the other head seat, and see that it is occupied by none other than my Jake.
Wait- he isn’t my Jake. He isn’t my anything. He’s a fallen angel, and he was only sent to earn my trust and kidnap me. I mean nothing to him. So he means nothing to me.
Jake’s eyes meet mine across the mass of drooling, flaming, screeching monsters and demons. I harden my heart and give him my dirtiest look. It is lost on him, because an extremely pale, blood-covered man leans forward and speaks to him. I shiver. If that’s not a vampire… then I’m a fucking sheep-turtle.
“Are you scared?” Death asks me. His voice is rich, and full, yet scratchy. It is not as low as Andy’s. It is creepy. It makes fear pool in my heart. I want to run away screaming. Death senses this, and He smiles a dark smile at me. “Don’t be scared, little Sybil. I’ll protect you.”
Yeah, but you’re what I’m scared of.
“I don’t need protecting,” I hiss under my breath, trying to ignore my goosebumps. “I need you to take me back to Earth and leave me the fuck alone.”
“No,” Death says pleasantly. “You’re mine. You always have been, you just didn’t know it yet. I let you live up above because you were too young. But now that you’re older- and more developed- you will be my bride, and live with me forever.”
I shove my seat back from the table.
“What?!”
“You’re mine, Seraphina,” Death says calmly. His red eyes bore into mine. “You’ve been mine since the day you called me a… a ‘child throwing a temper tantrum,’ was it?” My eyes widen. “I was going to kill you for saying that. But then I discovered that you were a Sybil-”
“What the fuck does Sybil even mean?” I burst out. The first time someone had ever called me Sybil had been when I’d gotten back from the institution and Andy had said it to me. I never knew what it meant; whenever I’d asked Andy, he’d deflected.
“It means,” Death smirks. “That you can see my people. You can see the dead. When I realized that you’d said those things while conversing with your dead grandmother, I realized you were a Sybil, and not just any regular Sybil. You have amazing potential, the potential to become the most powerful Sybil ever to live. And I plan on helping you unlock that potential, Sera. I plan on marrying you and making that power my own.”
“So let me get this straight, you want to marry me because you want my power?” I shout, totally forgetting that we’re surrounded by His vicious servants and devotees.
“No, darling, I want to marry you because you’re beautiful, and I want you to belong to me and no one else. Your powers, they’re just a perk.” Death’s tongue slides across his pink bottom lip as his eyes rake down and graze across the low neckline of my corset. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, in all of my eternity.”
I open my mouth to make some stinging remark, but suddenly Ashley and Andy’s warning rings in my mind. Be polite. Use manners.
He’s the most dangerous being ever to live.
Rejecting him in front of his posse of most devoted hell-creatures probably isn’t the best idea.
I bite my tongue and turn away from him. Giving him the cold shoulder might not be the smartest plan, but it’s the least offensive course of action that comes to mind. Instead of focusing on the creepy man sitting near me, I focus my attention on his demon affiliates.
Sitting across from me is a grey-skinned demon. He is of a vaguely humanoid structure, with two arms and two legs and one head. His left arm is higher up on his caved in torso than the right; and starting at the elbow, his right arm is one gigantic silver blade. Protruding from the middle of his skull, splitting down it on an angle, is a copper wheel. It spins slowly, and I gape as little chunks of rotting grey brain drop from it.
I gag and look away.
I have to get out of here. I have to. I can’t, I just can’t be here for another day, much less for eternity. It’s horrible, and morbid, and terrifying. It’s…Hell. I can’t spend eternity in this monstrous realm, married to the horrid monster that rules it. I don’t know what I’d do if I reached Earth again. I don’t know how I’d live a life devoid of my boys. Devoid of my Andy. I don’t know, but I am determined to find out. I need freedom. I need to get as far away from Death and his degenerates as possible.
“Don’t look so desperate to get away,” Death’s voice vibrates in my ribcage, rattling around and making anxious pain radiate in my heart. “We haven’t even been properly acquainted yet. You know nothing of me, Seraphina, yet you already think me a monster.”
“You’re Death!” I shout, losing my control. “You’ve kidnapped me, and made me think that I have friends and then stole that away from me by letting me realize that they’re just your little servants and were only stalking me! And now you want to marry me, for my body, and my power! I think I know damn well enough about you!”
“Alright,” Death says, his voice deadly calm. “If you know everything about me, answer me this one question: what is death?”
I glare at him. “It’s- it’s, the process of being… dead!” I splutter.
Death’s pink lip curled into a smirk. “I don’t think that you’re supposed to use a variation of the word in its definition,” he remarks. “Death is much more. Death is not the end of existence. Death is entrance into another realm. Death is passing on from the land of the living onto the other side. It is not as simple as disappearing from the universe. You should know this better than most, Sybil. Your entire life, you’ve been able to see the souls of the dead that do not reside in my kingdom, that instead haunt the land of the living. You know that the dead still live. It is my job, as the one called Death, the one who rules these departed souls, to keep order. The responsibility I hold over monsters, demons, my fallen angels, and the dead is comparable to the responsibility the ruler of your planet Earth would possess.”
“There is no ruler of Earth,” I snap.
“Exactly. That’s because it is such a massive commitment. No living being could handle it. But I have the same responsibility- actually a far greater one, because I have millions of generations of souls down here. Every being that has ever died is down here, that means there are billion times more souls down here than on your planet, and that’s a lot for one man to handle.” Death runs his hands through his hair and licks his lips. “I have a lot of responsibilities, Seraphina. I don’t just roam around, taking lives just because I feel like it.”
I bite down on my tongue again and try not to look at his tongue as it pokes out from between his lips, tauntingly. I shake my head.
“That’s exactly what you’ve done with me, is it not?” I ask, my voice like acid, bitter and corrosive. “You apparently want me, so you took me, and now you won’t let me go. Correct me if I’m wrong.”
“I don’t want you, Seraphina,” Death whispers. “I need you. I need you, and now I have you. You are mine, and that is all you will be, for all eternity.”
My mind is frozen, and before I realize what is going on, I have stood up and am running. I am running down a hallway, sprinting. I turn randomly, desperate to escape this cold, stone castle. Yet no matter where I turn or where I run, I find myself almost running into the open doorway of the lush room I’d woken up in.
After I am soaked in sweat and have run pointlessly for what seems like hours, I give up and go into the room. I slam and lock the door behind me, even going so far as to move the wardrobe over to make a barricade. When I am satisfied with my blockade, I throw myself onto my bed in dejection.
I start sobbing before I can even bury my face in my blanket. I want to go home. I want be in my own bed, and I want Andy to wrap his arms around me and tell me that it’s okay, that he’s going to keep me safe. That he’s there for me, and he always will be.
But he’s not. He’s not here for me, and he doesn’t even care to be. He never really had. Every time he’d comforted me, every time he called me Sera and caught me when I fell, it was an act. He was playing the part of the caring best friend, because he couldn’t afford to lose my trust.
To lose my affection.
I wail and clench my fists. I want nothing more than to go to sleep. I don’t even try to get out of my corset and dress; they are laced on so tight that I know I won’t be able to get out of them on my own. I would need Andy and Ashley’s help. I would need Andy.
I need him.
I bawl into blanket, and wrap my thin arms around my body. They are not his. They are not strong.
But they will have to do.

Notes

Sorry it took a while for me to update. My mom was being a bitch, and it was depressing me, but I'm fine now. Comment if you like it!!!!!! (Or subscribe XD)

Sera's Corset

*chapter title cred: "The Other Side" by Evanescence*