So now you'll know exactly what it feels like
To be an obstacle in my way
You won't remain
You won't remain


Ashley thumped his sneaker clad foot against the carpeted floor in his bedroom, his fingers strumming the strings on his guitar as he closed his eyes and tried to focus. He had been wanting to practice, but with his father home and hating the fact that Ashley had a passion for music, the guitarist knew he would have to keep things quiet. He was trying to teach himself some classics-Stairway To Heaven being on the top of the list but of course teaching yourself guitar wasn’t the easiest thing possible. The Thirteen year old kept practicing though, his long black hair falling in his face and his Iron Maiden shirt was tight across his chest.

Ashley could hear arguing coming from up the stairs and he knew his father was screaming at his grandparents again. They had been living with his grandparents for over a year now and Ashley knew his father hated having to move back home, but that’s what happens when you lose your job and have kids to take care of. Ashley just kept his head down, his hair falling in his face as he focused on what his fingers were doing and what they should be doing. The one thing in Ashley’s life that kept him calm and focused was music and that’s why he wanted to be a musician one day. He loved the way it made him feel and he loved that he could be anything as long as he had a guitar in his hands.

Suddenly there was a banging noise coming from the stairs and Ashley sighed, stuffing his guitar under his bed just in time. His door burst open and there stood his father, red faced and angry with a beer bottle in his hands.


“I thought I told you to quit with that music shit…” His father snarled as he entered the room and Ashley said nothing as he stood quickly. The chair he had been sitting in fell to the floor and both he and his father just kept their eyes on one another-afraid of what the other was going to do.

“Sorry.” Ashley said simply and his father growled as he came towards the small kid and grabbed him by the neck of his shirt. Ashley could hear the fabric ripping and he tried to not sigh loudly-he was tired of his clothes looking like rags.

“Get out of this fucking room and go mow the lawn…I’ve got things to do.” The grown man snarled as he shoved his son down to the floor and then stalked down the hall. A door slammed and Ashley winced as he just continued to sit on the floor.


His eyes scanned around the room-his grandparents had been generous with him and had given him a nice place to stay. But he knew, deep down, Ashley Purdy knew that he couldn’t remain here. Now if only he could get past the few obstacles that were sitting in his way…then he would truly be free. Once and for all.



Save your breath don't even speak if you'll speak of change
Cause you won't, you won't
Cut to the chase, spare the lecture on what it takes to make a man
Cause you're weak and I'm strong


Spring time and the trees were blooming with their small flowers and Ashley Purdy was currently trying to not burn to death in the cap and gown he was wearing. Graduation Day-something that meant more to him than a lot of things because it was so much more than him just getting to leave high school. Ashley had plans-big plans-and they would be put in to motion as soon as he walked across that stage. He had gotten a scholarship to a college out in California and his car was already packed with everything he would need to make it out there. He would study, get a degree, but his real dream was to start a band and to be a rockstar. To stand out from everyone else and to make a difference.

Right now though Ashley looked like everyone else in his black cap and gown, standing around and waiting for everything to begin. Girls were crying around him, hugging one another as they said their goodbyes and Ashley knew that soon enough they would all be called to line up and get ready to walk towards the stage. Friends were reuniting around him and suddenly Ashley felt kind of sad-he had never made many friends while he was in school. Living in a small town that was filled with people who loved country music and deemed you a Satan worshipper any time you wore your Slayer shirt pretty much made you an outcast. Of course there was something else that made Ashley stand out and it was even more embarrassing to think about…

His dad was known as the town drunk.

His father could be found any night of the week at one of the two local bars, sucking down as many whiskey’s as he could and trying to get himself laid. Ashley was able to just stay in his room and not be bothered by his father’s nasty habit, but he knew his grandparents were tired of it all. Ashley had seen his tiny grandmother trying to get his father under control one too many times and honestly he couldn’t take it anymore. They had gotten into so many fights lately that it was a miracle that Ashley was even able to make it to graduation. That’s why he needed to leave-that’s why he was going to California.


“Hey Purdy!” Someone called out to him and Ashley turned quickly, his black hair getting in his eyes and he smiled. There was a group of guys standing over near the parking lot and they were laughing about something.

“Yeah?!” He called out, laughter in his voice but it soon died. There, coming towards the school and stumbling while he did it, was Ashley’s drunken father. He was wearing a torn t-shirt, cut off jean shorts and he had a girl hanging off of one arm.

“Isn’t that your dad?!” One of the guys called out and Ashley felt his face flame as he took in a deep breath and then called back to them.

“No. No I’ve never seen that guy in my life. Pretty lame…”



I will never falter
I'll stand my ground
You're a fake, a worthless coward
Your life won't mean anything


Ashley laughed, his breath smelling like whiskey and coke but it didn’t matter-he would get laid tonight regardless. They were on tour, the band he had helped build up had actually made it and they were celebrating the release of their second album. There were girls, so many girls, walking around the room in hardly anything but their underwear and Ashley knew he would end up with one or two or three of them later that night. They had played a good show and now it was time to party-Purdy style. The girl that was sitting on his right was just hit type-blonde with big tits. She was laughing at something that Andy had said and Ashley, in his drunken stupor, tried to catch the conversation.


“So what are you ladies up to tonight?” Andy was asking and Ashley only smirked as he took another sip of his drink and looked around. One girl had so much of her chest hanging out that he could almost see everything and the blonde sitting beside him was so tipsy that she was almost falling on top of him.

“I dunno-what did you have in mind?” The girl with the barely there shirt giggled and Ashley on smirked. Andy was winking at her, his baby blues giving off that seductive gleam to them and Ashley couldn’t help but smile more. They were partners in crime-they had been a duo for over two years and things with them and girls just worked.

“You and me. Ashley and your friend…we could head back to the bus for a little bit of fun…” Andy said, his low voice filled with nothing but desire and seduction. Ashley looked to the girl next to him, smiling at her and winking, but deep down he felt sad.


As he followed Andy and the two girls out of the dressing room, Ashley couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He wasn’t disappointed in his life or the band-he was disappointed in himself. He had hated his father for so long-hated the way he did nothing but drink and fuck woman after woman, but in the end his hate had been for nothing. He had turned in to the one person who had always despised and Ashley knew that things were going to have to change. He was going to have to change. Ashley stopped walking just as they got to the bus and he noticed that Andy, who was standing at the top of the steps, was looking down at him, the two girls standing in between the two of them.


“You coming man?” Andy asked him and Ashley snapped to attention. The two girls were looking back at him over their shoulders and his ‘date’ for the night could barely keep her eyes open. Was he going to do this? Could he? For how long?

Ashley took in a deep breath, put that silly smile on his face and slapped the ass of the girl in front of him. He would play the part for a while longer, but soon this was going to have to come to an end.

“Fuck yeah!”



So now you'll know exactly what it feels like
to be an obstacle in my way
You won't remain
You won't remain


“Fuck you! Fuck you Ashley Purdy and fuck your bass and your band and everything that you’ve ever cared about!” Kit had picked up Ashley’s bass, which had been leaning up against a log nearby and Andy cringed as he watched the small girl lift the instrument above her head and chuck it out towards the murky lake water.

“What the fuck Kitty?! Why the fuck are you so pissed at me? You still haven’t told me anything yet!” Ashley yelled, his voice deep and angry as he moved away from the girl and headed out towards the water to try and retrieve his bass, which was floating on top of the water in a sad state.

“You know why! You fucking know why you piece of trash! Go fuck some more sluts behind my back and then maybe you’ll fucking figure it out!” Kit yelled as she approached the bassist, who had gotten his bass and was currently standing at the waters edge.

“That’s what this is about?! I didn’t think it meant anything to you when we were together! You always made it seem like it was just a fling Kit!” Ashley yelled and Dess felt her jaw drop. Kit and Ashley? Together? When the fuck did that happen?

“I was trying to not get emotionally involved but I never expected you to fuck everything that came your way Ash. Ugh-you’re such a whore!” She screamed, her hands pressing against his chest as Kit pushed Ash and there was a loud splash and a string of obscenities. Kit had pushed Ashley into the lake and Dess tried to hold in her laughter as the bassist just sat there, looking like a drowned rat.

“You’re just fucking jealous Kit! You’ve always been a jealous bitch!” Ashley yelled and Dess felt her heart stop as Kit spun on her heel, her nostrils flaring and she only stood in place, her arms crossed over her chest. At this point everyone was up, Jake, Jinxx and CC having taken seats around the smoldering fire as they watched in shocked awe.


Ashley had never meant for this to happen-he had never expected things with Katrina Evans to actually get to a point where they had feelings for one another. They had met during the holidays last year when they had all been with Andy and Dess and the two of them had hit it off. They had kept things quiet-meeting up when they were both in LA and hooking up when they needed someone. Ashley liked Kit-a lot-he liked how she never took any of his shit and she always called him on the nonsense things that would sometimes pop out of his mouth. As Ashley sat there in the water, his bass now ruined and floating down stream, Ashley Purdy realized something.

He had become just like his father and it had to stop right now.



Let's set things straight,
What's done is done I never needed you
Tell me exactly who you think that you're kidding?
Everyone will be happy when they find that you're missing
You asked if we'd ever forget you
We've got our fingers crossed
Our fingers crossed!


Katrina had been in labor with Pierce for over thirteen hours, but as Ashley stood by the window and held his tiny son in his arms, he couldn’t help but feel like everything had been worth it for this moment. Being a father had never been something that Ashley had planned for, but it had come along and he embraced it the best he could. It wasn’t that Ashley didn’t want children, he just didn’t think he would make a good dad to anyone-he was too much like his own father. He could be wild and impulsive and he liked his rockstar life. He and Kit had a great marriage and had a lot of fun together-jetting off to vacations and taking off for weekends in the mountains.

But now they couldn’t do that-not with Pierce around.


“Isn’t he the best thing ever Ash?” Kit asked from the bed and Ashley only smiled as he turned around, tiny Pierce in his arms as he took in his exhausted wife. Her red hair was plastered to her forehead, her green eyes ringed in black from being so tired.

“He is.” Ashley said as he looked down at the baby in his arms. The nurses had swaddled Pierce tightly and so it was kind of like holding an over sized burrito. So many memories flooded back to Ashley in that moment-he had held both Arabella and Oliver, Andy’s kids, when they had been this small and now they were growing up in to tiny adults.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…”

“Don’t give me that. You have that look on your face Ash.” Kit said to him and Ashley only sighed as he came over to the bed and sat on the side of it. Pierce murmured in his sleep and Ashley smiled-babies were so cute it was almost too much to bear.

“I’m just scared that I’ll end up like him.” Ashley said and he smiled as Kit sat up and reached for him. The two of them embraced softly, Pierce still between them and Ashley smiled as he pulled away.

“You might be, but if you are there’s one thing that will be different…”

“Oh? And what’s that?” He asked and Kit only smirked at him as she reached for their son.

“I’ll fucking kick your ass to the moon and back.”



That's the danger in starting a fire
You'll never know how many bridges you'll burn
That's the danger in starting a fire
You'll never know how many bridges you'll burn


The leaves were falling to the ground slowly and Ashley shivered and pulled his long sleeved sweater around his shoulders more. His black hair was beginning to grey and there were wrinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes. The kids were out in the yard-Pierce, Molly and Elizabeth-playing and raking the leaves. Kit was off with Dess on a girl’s shopping trip and Ashley was waiting for Andy to come over so that they could get some work done. The Purdy family had been living in Virginia for a few years now and while Kit loved being home and the kids like seeing the weather change, Ashley missed California-especially in the winter. He knew though that later that night he and Kit would snuggle under their quilt, make love and sleep together the best that they could.

This was his life and he was happy for it.

Suddenly the doorbell rang out and Ashley turned from the kitchen sink-who could that be? Andy and the kids would just walk in-they all were like a big family anyways-and so Ashley was wondering why there was someone at his door in the middle of the day. He walked down the hallway, his feet smacking across the wood as he did so and Ashley felt himself shaking as he reached out for the door handle. Too many years drinking had left his body slightly broken, but as soon as he opened the door Ashley knew he was shaking for an entirely different reason. He was now looking at an old, grizzled man who looked homeless and yet Ashley knew exactly who this man was. He had avoided this man-hated this man-for over twenty years and now here he was…on their doorstep.


“Ash! It’s me!” The man called out, smiling as he tried to wrap his arms around Ashley’s shoulders, but the younger man moved out of the way quickly.

“I know who you are. How did you find me?” Ashley asked as he pulled the door closer to him so that the man wouldn’t try to come inside. The last thing he needed was for his kids to see someone who they thought had died even before they were born.

“Come on Ashley-don’t be this way. Give your old man a hug.” Ashley cringed as the older man tried to touch him once again and he was tempted to push him away.

“You don’t need to be here.”

“Of course I do-I’m your father.”

Ashley took in a deep breath and just before he slammed the door in the old man’s face, he gave him a pitiful smile.

“I don’t have a father. You burned that bridge in all of your fire starting a long time ago.”

Notes