They Cant Tell Me What is Right
how did it feel when you held the knife
I stood in the cemetery and watched as the coffin was lowered into the hole in the earth. I held in all emotion and just stared.
"I'm so sorry for your loss" Someone spoke to me but i didnt respond and kept looking as they buried my brother. Frank stood next to me the entire time with the same expression as me, nothing. Frank's head shot up and looked around but there was nothing there, maybe danny is to frank like Andy is to me and he talks to him. No that would be silly, I'm slowly losing my mind arent I? I watched as they threw on the last shovel full of dirt and patted it down before i turned away and set off to Andy's grave.
I stood on the grass in front of it as i looked down at the headstone that i knew Andy would have hated but his mom insisted. I was standing over his dead body, Andy was gone and i would never touch him or have him here ever again.
dont be silly
I heard the voice.
"shut up, shut up, shut up" i screamed covering my ears, "i'm not going crazy i dont hear him he is dead" I yelled.
yeah, I am
no i didnt hear it.
"no,no no" i kept whispering to myself. "maybe he is here Ashley heard him" i said and looked around again.
"you can talk to me" i stated.
took long enough
"Grey, I need to tell you something" i turned around to see Frank "Andy was your friend, i had no idea, they made me do it" he said with tears growing in his eyes.
"what?" i said but then all of the peices fell together in my mind.
"I didnt mean to we were supposed to just beat him up but, they brought a knife and I didnt see it until they slit his throat, and i wanted to stay to help but they wouldnt let me and they dragged me to the house to play it off like it didnt happen" he said and suddenly broke down into tears "i didnt do it, they did" he choked out.
"you were there when my best friend was killed" i said slightly raising my voice.
"I didn't want him to die, hell i didn't want to beat him up, but i can tell you who slit his throat, which is what killed him, i-it was Justin" he stuttered a bit but the words came out.
"And your telling me now!?" i yelled. "do you know how much shit i have gone through trying to figure out why he died? I blamed it on myself" i yelled.
"well i told you now and i can go turn him in so they dont kill you they'll kill me" he said the last part looking at the ground " I'll testify and everything" he said.
"no they wont kill you" i said.
let it go i'm fine
Andy
"i'll turn him in" i said "i'll say Danny told me before he died and that way it will be easy and nobody gets arrested, okay but justin, okay" he nodded his head and walked away.
"I'm so sorry for your loss" Someone spoke to me but i didnt respond and kept looking as they buried my brother. Frank stood next to me the entire time with the same expression as me, nothing. Frank's head shot up and looked around but there was nothing there, maybe danny is to frank like Andy is to me and he talks to him. No that would be silly, I'm slowly losing my mind arent I? I watched as they threw on the last shovel full of dirt and patted it down before i turned away and set off to Andy's grave.
I stood on the grass in front of it as i looked down at the headstone that i knew Andy would have hated but his mom insisted. I was standing over his dead body, Andy was gone and i would never touch him or have him here ever again.
dont be silly
I heard the voice.
"shut up, shut up, shut up" i screamed covering my ears, "i'm not going crazy i dont hear him he is dead" I yelled.
yeah, I am
no i didnt hear it.
"no,no no" i kept whispering to myself. "maybe he is here Ashley heard him" i said and looked around again.
"you can talk to me" i stated.
took long enough
"Grey, I need to tell you something" i turned around to see Frank "Andy was your friend, i had no idea, they made me do it" he said with tears growing in his eyes.
"what?" i said but then all of the peices fell together in my mind.
"I didnt mean to we were supposed to just beat him up but, they brought a knife and I didnt see it until they slit his throat, and i wanted to stay to help but they wouldnt let me and they dragged me to the house to play it off like it didnt happen" he said and suddenly broke down into tears "i didnt do it, they did" he choked out.
"you were there when my best friend was killed" i said slightly raising my voice.
"I didn't want him to die, hell i didn't want to beat him up, but i can tell you who slit his throat, which is what killed him, i-it was Justin" he stuttered a bit but the words came out.
"And your telling me now!?" i yelled. "do you know how much shit i have gone through trying to figure out why he died? I blamed it on myself" i yelled.
"well i told you now and i can go turn him in so they dont kill you they'll kill me" he said the last part looking at the ground " I'll testify and everything" he said.
"no they wont kill you" i said.
let it go i'm fine
Andy
"i'll turn him in" i said "i'll say Danny told me before he died and that way it will be easy and nobody gets arrested, okay but justin, okay" he nodded his head and walked away.
5/29/13