I had kept distant from Andy makes now 3 weeks and my depression was slowly fading away... I think I'm getting better from all that guilt and pain. My once red and bloody cuts, thanks to some healing ointment, have turned to light scars, just enough to not alarm my mother. I've been clean for the last 5 days and I was getting myself back.

My mom surely noticed my mood change, so I told her the truth - but not entirely it. I said I was hugging Andy - just as a friend - as Juliet came in. She become shocked and ran away hurt and felling betrayed, that was when a car hit her. She died on the spot and Andy blamed me. She wanted to make and argument with him, but I begged her not to. I said I wanted to have this conversation with him. To talk to him and explain everything clear, as a responsible almost-adult. She was proud of me and supported me to do so. Opening me to her helped the hell a lot. I felt so much lighter.

The morning after our talk was surprisingly bright - she sun was warm and shining - as if it was a promise of good times. I decided so to dress in a blowy white princess-like dress and red converses. I had breakfast with mom and she went to work. I used all my courage together and walked through the door and towards Andy's house. Every step that I gave, however, felt like another mistake to me.

I stopped right in front of Andy's door and knocked softly. My hands were sweaty and trembling, there was a felling in the pit of my stomach that made me nauseous. Within a few moments he opened it and I froze. Andy looked... horrible.

His shaved black hair was dirty and messy, his skin was dry and very pale, what made the bags under his red puffy eyes, stand out. His lips were pale and cracked, his clothes were rinky and spotted with what looked food and drinks, his cheek bones were high and he looked like if he had lost 10 pound - If that was even possible! He looked like a zombie, a ghost, an undead creature.


"What dooo you w-wanna, bitch?!" He spat/slurred at me and my heart sunk even more. I noticed the half bottle of Jack in his hand. He was drunk.Very drunk.

"We need to talk" I said softly "What I did wasn't on propose. I didn't know I could do that. Please for-"

"SHUT UP!" I flinched "You are just a worthless, cheating, liar, psycho, murder whore! You killed the girl I love and I'll never ever forgive you!" I started crying.

"Please, Andy! I'd do anything to make this up."

"Then just die!" My heart skipped a bit at his harsh words. "If you can't bring Juliet back, then just die! A painful death is what you deserve! Nobody would miss you! I wish I'd never met you! You are just a freak! A abomination! You shouldn't even exist!"


Every word he spitted killed me a bit, my tears falling like a waterfall. I didn't notice his arm raising until the whiskey bottle connected with my head, soaking me as fragments cut through my scalp and the alcohol burned, knocking me out . My world turned only darkness and pain.

---

The numbness was slowly disappearing; instead, raw pain cursed my head. I cracked open my eyes, everything hurt. Some dried blood was spotting the floor, glass stuck in my now tangled hair. All the memories came back rushing to me and I broke down. Andy wanted me to die. He hated me with all his guts. I suffered with every word my once savior and model said to me. Maybe he was right. Maybe I should die. I looked around and noticed it was almost twilight time.

How many more sunrises would I see? How many more sunsets?


Honestly, I had no idea.


I got up and, numbly, started walking back to my house. I couldn't think, speak or live anymore. I couldn't even cry anymore, my tears had run dry. I got home and on the table I found a piece of paper and a pen to write my last words. Once done, I walked back to Andy's, leaving the note at his doorway, my bloody fingertips staining the paper. I immediately walked back home and marched to the kitchen. I found what I was looking for: a very sharp meat knife.
I grabbed it firmly and dragged the blade across my arm, reopening my cuts with the word "killer" above my scars, deep enough to make blood pour like a river and fall on the white floor with red dots. On my right arm I engraved "I'm sorry". Satisfied with the result I prepared myself to my death blow.

I took a deep breath and dragged the blade across my left arm again, but not horizontally like ever - vertically, bellow the bloody word - slashing my vein and making blood gush like a geyser, hitting the wall and some furniture. I fatally got lightheaded and black dots stained my vision, I knew that soon I'd be dead. My knees got weak and I started to fall... bye world...


"ANGEL?! NO!!" A sudden deep voice took me out of my trance and I saw an desperate/terrified Andy right across the run, jolting towards me as I fell.


I had no idea if he had caught me, because, before I could do anything, darkness took over me.


Then nothing. Not a heartbeat or a breath.

Just the dead silence.



Then my endless torture begun.



** Andy P.O.V. **



My head ached with every beating of my heart, a pain strong enough to wake me up from my drop dead drunk sleep. I nausea wave hit me and, difficulty, I marched towards the bathroom and took two pain killers, hoping it to make effect fast. I examined myself and sighed. I looked awful. Dead almost. Since Juliet's death I couldn't sleep or eat properly, I had lost at least 8 pounds and I looked like an anorexic-zombie panda because of the bags under my eyes and dead appearance. Whiskey was my only escape from the world, so most of time I was either drunk or asleep.

I dropped myself on the couch and decided to turn the TV on. Batman was showing and I grinned, but cried just after remembering Juliet as Catwoman and me as Batman. Why? Why her? Angel should have let me die because now we'd be together.

Angel...

I was also drowning myself in alcohol because of her. How could I even feel something for her? How horrible and mean I had been with her saying all those things? My mind was split between feeling guilty and feeling angry. I'm still not sure if she is a good person and really it was all an accident as she tried to save me or if she was a manipulating spoiled preppy bitch who just wanted to hit me because I’m famous. I've known lots of people that seem sweet and caring, but in reality it's just a mask, an illusion, "Smoke and Mirrors" as my song says.

I moved my feet a bit and something pricked my feet through my Batman socks. I took a better look and realized it was a tiny piece of glass, and they were all splattered on the floor. What happened? Had I dropped a glass? Confused, I looked for a broom and a dustpan and started cleaning all that fragments before they pierced my feet. My attention got caught in the pulled to pieces Jack Daniel’s bottle next to my door. Uh? How the fuck that happened? It looks like I had a bar fight and hit it on someone's he-Angel.

My fuzzy memories came back like a dream: Angel begging forgiveness, my hateful harsh words, her crying, me hitting her in the head with the whiskey bottle and knocking her out.


Oh my God. What have I done?!


I've become just like all that haters and bullies that I've always hated, fought against and sang about. She's only a girl, for fuck's sake! I broke a bottle on her head!!! She once said I was her hero, what she must think of me now?! I told her to kill herself - exactly the opposite of everything I priest about: Never Give In - I told her she was unworthy, unwanted, wretched and a freak! Everything that the bullies said that made me depressed as a kid.

I quickly put my shoes on and jolted to the door. I had to forgive Angel and apologize for my jerk behavior. Just as I reached the door, however, there was a piece of paper on my doorway. I grabbed it and read the tear and blood stained letter.


When you read this I'll probably be already dead.
I have no words to express how much sorry I am. It was never my intention to harm Juliet, she made you so happy and that made me happy too.
As this are my last words I may say what I've always wanted without fear of rejection:

I love you, Andrew.

I've fallen in love with you from the very first sight when I watched 'Fallen Angels' music video. You were singing about everything I felt that time and you showed me that I was not alone. You had a girlfriend, however, and even if that was breaking my heart, I forced myself to be happy for you both. I'd be a horrible fan If I didn't respect my idol's love, wouldn't I? I couldn't be a selfish bitch, trying to stole you from the girl that makes you happy. I knew I was too young, not pretty enough, too weird and abnormal, even for you, who accepts everyone.

You were right. I'm a useless, unworthy freak. Nobody would love me anyways. My father didn't and if my mother knew my powers, I'm sure she wouldn't too.
I'm sorry I can't bring Juliet back. If I could, I would. Even if the price was my life.

I really pray someday you'll forgive me.

Tell my mom I will always love her, but I couldn't live with this pain, the man I love with all my heart hates me with all his heart. She'll be ok. I'm taking her biggest burden out of her shoulder.


God Bless you, Andy. Stay strong.

Love,
Angel


I was crying furiously was I read that suicide note. No! I can't let her. It's my entire fault! I should have never doubt about her intentions and feelings. She had had plenty opportunity to kiss me and blackmail me to Juliet, but she didn't. She saved my life twice and that's how I repay her? All those thoughts haunted me as I ran like a madman to her house, hoping it wasn't too late.

Her door was unlocked and this made panic shot through my body. I saw a red trail of little dots and followed it, leading to the kitchen. I froze at the scene in front of me, it made me want to kill myself.


"ANGEL??! NO!!"


Angel was holding a huge bloody knife in her right hand. She had engraved "Killer" and "I'm sorry" deeply in her arms and bloody was flowing from this cuts, but wasn't that that shocked me. In her right arm there was a huge gash.Vertically. And blood was gushing from this one. There was blood pooling everywhere! Angel, why??! I knew she was getting dizzy because her knees buckled. She'd die from blood loss because of me. My idiot self!

She glanced at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying already glossy and without light. She was already on Death's embrace. She started to fall and I bolted to her, picking her in time before she hit the ground, but having the knife craved in my arm and I did. I groaned in pain, but ignored it.


"Angel?!" I shook her. She didn't respond. "Angel, please! Don't die!" I shook her a bit more.


Her skin already was pale as a ghost and cold as ice. I pressed my ear next to her chest trying to hear some heartbeat, but there was nothing. Only silence. I cried even more over her dead body. Even in death she was beautiful. All those feelings that appeared as she saved me and vanished when I discovered she had vaporized Juliet, came back with total force.

I loved her too.


"Angel" I whispered next to her body as I hugged her "I'm sorry. I forgive you, I know I'd never do something like that on propose. I'm so sorry for being such a jerk with you. You are dead now because of me. I'm the freak, unworthy and lying freak, not you. You never was. You are one the most amazing persons I've known. I am the wretched creature here, I failed of my task of being a saviour, instead, I've become a murder, and now both of girls I loved died."


I sighed and looked straight to her face, cupping it with my hands.


"I'd never reject you if I was single. I love you, Angel"


With that, I pressed my lips into her softly. Even her cold hard lips felt good against mine. This was apologize kiss full of caring. I pulled away and sighed defeated.

Suddenly a bright white light appeared in ahead us and I closed my eyes tightly. When the light faded a bit I was able to reopen them, making them go wide and wet and my mouth hand open at the figure in white right in front of me.

Notes

Cliffhanger!!! I'll post now just on weekend! MUAHAHA
GIANT CHAPTER!!! :D
SPAM ME WITH VOTES, COMMENTS AND SUBSCRIBERS AND I'LL POST MORE THAN ONE!
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Title Credit: 'Done For You' by BVB.