In The End

In The End
A BVB Fanfic
Chapter 23

Raven's POV

When my eyes open, the fluorescent sting at first and anesthetic burns my nostrils. The oxygen tube forces air into my lungs and I glance around to see that I’m in some sort of hospital room. At first look, Andy is leaning against the wall closest to me with his arms over his chest and his foot against the wall. Jinxx is holding Sammi while Ella cuddles with Jake in a nearby chair. Emerson is sitting in Ashely's lap sniffling and Scarlet is talking to a nurse.
Wait. Scarlet? As in my best friend? Why is she here? I try to sit up, but my arms are strapped to the bed. What the hell is going on? The next thing I know someone is hovering over me and sobbing. When the person pulls away, I noticed right away that it’s Andy. All those feelings I felt before start rushing back to me and I can’t handle this, not now. As he backs away from me, I see the tears staining his face and it makes me cock my head to the side. Why is he crying?
“Why am I here? What happened?” I ask. Everyone looks at me then looks at each other before they all get up and file out of the room, except for Andy and Scarlet. “Can I talk to her alone, please?” Andy asks Scarlet. She folds her arms over her chest and glares. “You’re already on my shit list, Biersack. If you so much as harm a hair on her head, I will castrate you.” She warns in a cold tone. Did he put me in this place? She hugs me quickly and steps out of the room.
“Hey. How’re you feeling?” He asks me. I tug once again at my restraints and look up at him. “Why is Scarlet here? Better yet, why am I here?” I ask. Andy sighs and runs both hands down his face before walking over to my bedside. “Raven, you’ve been hurt pretty bad. You lost a lot of blood. You cut yourself so deep they didn’t think you were ever going to wake up.” I see another tear fall from his eyes as he looks down at the floor. I stop pulling on my restraints and take a good look at my arms.
For the first time since I woke up, I can see what they do. The white gauze is wrapped thickly and tightly around both of my forearms from my wrist to my elbow on both sides. Four years of hard work for this. This is what I have to show for it all. “Why didn’t you tell me you self-harmed?” Andy breaks the silence first. I look away, ashamed and bite my lip. “I haven’t done it in so long. I’ve been four years clean. I guess I never thought that I would ever have another reason to do it again. And I was wrong.” I speak in a low voice.
“About that, we need to talk. I understand I didn’t handle that the way it should have been. Raven, I love you. I’m sorry that this is happening. I promise to God, had I known about this, I would have never dragged you into the middle of it. What Juliet and I had is over. It has been since the day I met you. But, I can’t let my child grow up without a father. I wasn’t raised that way. Juliet knows she has my support, but I love you. I want to be with you.” He finishes.
I am speechless. What am I supposed to say to that? I am barely 18 years old. Can I handle dating a man who has a child that isn’t mine? What if I invest all my time and feelings into this relationship and one day he decides he’d rather be with Juliet and his child? Then I risked everything and will end up with nothing which is exactly where I am now. Finally, I nod my head to him.
“Of course I love you, Andy. I never stopped. You’re my first love, so naturally it hurt for her to drop the bomb like that and think it wouldn’t hurt me. You have my support, and I’ll help you however I can. You need to understand that this isn’t going to fix itself overnight. Saying sorry and that you love me doesn’t make things back to how they were. It’ll take time for me to trust you again.” I explain. The hurt look on his face is killing me, but this is what needs to happen. He needs to understand he can’t hurt me and get away with it, though he is not 100% to blame here.

Notes