In The End

In The End
A BVB Fanfic
Chapter 22

Raven's POV

How could he do this to me? I trusted him, gave him all I had, and this is what I get in return. I can't help but to think if he knew the entire time. It's as if my heart has been ripped from my chest and crushed in front of me. For fuck's sake, I gave the boy my virginity! I can't stop the tears, I mean I've cried before, but nothing like this. I couldn't hack this. Not anymore. I couldn't face him back there in the store, there is no way I can stay living with Andy.

I dart out of the mall and straight to our...scratch that, straight to Andy's house. I head up to the bedroom and start throwing my stuff into a duffel bag. I swore to myself and to Scarlet that I'd never hurt myself again, but this is too much. I wipe my eyes and pick myself up off my knees and head right to the bathroom. I know Andy has a razor in here somewhere. I tear the cabinets apart and dig through the drawers until I come across what I'm looking for.

Taking the blade out of the plastic, I lay it on the counter before closing the bathroom door and locking it. I pull my cell phone from my pocket to see 7 missed calls from Andy, 2 from Emerson, 1 from Ashley, 1 from Jinxx, 3 from Sammi, 4 from Jake and 1 from Ella, not to mention the numerous text messages from everyone. I can't bring myself to talk to anyone right now, so I shut my phone off and lay it on the counter.

Resting my palms on the sink, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Four years clean from self-harm and I'm about to throw that all away. I take a shaky breath and pick up the blade. Holding my arm over the sink, I make one cut, then another, and another, and before I know it, I'm a bloody mess. I don't want to stop, but I force myself to. I drop the razor in the sink and fall to my knees before a fresh batch of tears assault my face. What have I just done? I hear pounding on the bathroom door, but I am too weak to answer it and I close my eyes.

Jinxx's POV

I saw Raven run out of the store with tears in her eyes which worried me. Whatever happened back there wasn't good. I get up and tell the guys I'll take Sammi and go make sure she's alright while they take care of Andy. I'm worried to death about Raven. Then again, we all are. Sammi is a mess as she tries again and again to call her but doesn't have any luck.

"Where would she go, Jeremy? She's new to L.A. She wouldn't know where to go. Let's go check Andy's place. She may have gone back there." She suggests. I nod and we take off for his house. When our car pulls up out front, both of our hearts sink. The front door is hanging wide open, which tells us that she's either here, or has been recently. I get out and Sammi follows me as we search the house.

"I'll take the downstairs, you take the upstairs." I tell her. Sammi nods and heads up the stairs two at a time. After a few minutes, I hear my name being screamed by Sammi and I freeze before running up the stairs. " Jeremy...look. The door is locked and I can't get in! She's hurt...Oh my God there's a lot of blood. " Sammi pounds on the door more, but there is a deafening silence on the other side.

Pulling out my cell phone, I quickly dial 911 and moments later they are here. I lead them up the stairs and standby with Sammi as they break the door in. Sammi sobs and buries her head in my chest as she sees Raven a bloody, passed out mess on the floor. Her blood is everywhere and she's pretty much lying in it. I look away as they haul her out on a stretcher and take off for the hospital. We follow behind while Sammi makes the call to the rest of the guys.

Andy's POV

My mind is driving me insane with the thoughts of what's happening. My stomach is literally twisted in knots at the thought of Raven out there alone and I want so badly to go look for her and just hold her, but the guys won't let me leave. Just as I sit back down in the store, my phone vibrates and I answer it instantly. "Hello? Ra- Sammi? Oh God...no...please no...which hospital? Okay, we'll meet you there."

I put my phone away and face the guys, trying to tell them what I need to without breaking down. "T-that was Sammi. We need to head to the hospital downtown. They found Raven." It's all I can choke out at the moment, and no one questions it. Once at the hospital, I practically ran to her room, but Sammi stopped me at the door.

"Andy. You need to prepare yourself for what you're about to see. It's not pretty. She's not awake yet, but she's stable. She needs help, Andy. This is serious. Far beyond whatever happened with you and Juliet back there. I called her friend Scarlet, and she's on the next flight here." Sammi fills me in. I am literally speechless. What could be so bad that I need to be ready for? What has Raven not told me? Either way, I need to see her. To know that she's alright now. I nod and head into her room, and my heart drops into my stomach.

Notes

WARNING: Triggering. Raven is a cutter and she self-harms in this chapter.

I too am a self-harmer. I am recovering and I know how hard it can be. But you are NOT alone. If you need someone to talk too, to vent too, to bitch too, to cry too, to listen, ANYTHING, please contact me. I'm here and I'll help anyway that I can. I've been where you are, and sometimes I'm still there, but there is a way out. I love you. Don't ever forget that. <3