Devil Choir tour. (sequel to Unbroken)

It's been a week since Quinn has talked to me. I can't say that I blame her because I fucked up bad, but I was trying to be better. I hadn't gone near alcohol since she called me out on my pathetic behaviour, so that was an improvement I guess. I hadn't stopped cutting, though.

I didn't talk to Andy when he asked me about the razor. I couldn't tell the truth, but I also couldn't lie. Needless to say, I've been avoiding him. Hell, even on my birthday I made sure I was as far away from him as possible. He would try to talk to me, but I wouldn't let him. I think that things between him and I may be over. I knew I shouldn't have let him and I become a thing. I called it from the beginning that I would be the one to screw everything up. The part that sucks the most is that I love him. He cared about me more than anyone else seemed to. He made me feel like I was a human being rather than a broken toy. It was wonderful, but I wasn't good for him. He had to know that on some level I was like poison to him.

"Kit?" Chris asked as I stood in the alley outside of the venue.

"Yeah, Chris?" I responded, taking my eyes off of the littered ground.

"Can we talk?"

"I suppose we could. Why?"

"Andy told me about the self-harming. He promised me to not tell Quinn."

I stiffened at the subject.

"Why would you do that to yourself? I get that things may be hard with touring for the first time or whatever, but did you really need to take it out on your body? I don't understand."

"You're right. You don't understand," I whispered.

"Help me to. I want to be there for you," he said, slowly getting closer to me.

"Quinn has got everything. Even when I dated you and Ronnie, it seemed like you two were there to see her and not me. She's younger than me, has less responsibilities, she's even prettier and more talented than I am. When I got hungover, Quinn ended up taking my spot in the band. When the guys got back on the bus, they couldn't stop talking about how amazing she was and how the crowd loved her. I feel like I should just give up on everything because life would be easier for Quinn if I wasn't around. She could have my band, my friends, even my exes. I'm not important, she is. I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear, but I'm just done with everything."

"I-I'm sorry. You're right, I did and still do like Quinn, and so does Ronnie. I get your fear with the band and everything, but you're the lead singer and I doubt they would get rid of you."

I sighed and headed into the venue. Even with his wimpy attempt to comfort me, Chris didn't help. But one thing was for sure, I was going to put on the performance of my life tonight, because it would probably be my last.

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"I have one last song to sing for you guys!" I shouted to the crowd, "I've done some pretty stupid shit lately and it's affected a lot of the people that are close to me. I just want to let them know that I regret everything I've done and I hope they'll forgive me. So, with that being said, this is 'Sorry.'"

I saw Quinn and Andy standing side-stage, looking at me curiously as I sang. I really was sorry for everything I've put them through and for being such a burden on them. Every crappy thing that has happened to Quinn was my fault, and I knew it. I was a selfish person and Quinn suffered because of that. Tonight ,though, I was going to make sure Quinn wouldn't have to suffer any more.

I finished the song and felt electric currents run through my body as the crowd screamed. I had really out-done myself tonight.

"I love you guys!" I yelled to the audience as I waved.

I sprinted off of the stage and passed Quinn and Andy. They shouted my name, but I didn't turn around. Instead, I ran straight onto the bus.

I locked myself in the bathroom and retrieved my reliable friend. I turned the blade in my fingers, admiring how something so small could have the power to take a life.

"It's time," the voice in my head said.

"I know," I told it.

I brought the blade down against my skin and screamed as blood started to spill from me. I quickly began to feel light-headed and I collapsed to the floor.

So this is what death feels like, it's actually quite peaceful, I thought to myself before blacking out.

Notes