You Are Not Alone ~ Andy Biersack Love Story

My day had been sleeping, that's it. I can't remember when I had my last real meal. I was starving myself....and I couldn't help it. My parents died a few weeks ago, and I can't get my mother's bloody image out of my head. Every time I even think of her I break down. I laid in my bed, staring out the window. It was such a rainy day. Thunder boomed, and lightning lit up the gloomy sky. I heard my door open, so I flipped over to my other side to see Andy. I still hadn't told him of my depression returning. I was getting really skinny too. I looked up at Andy as he sat on my bed, placing a sandwich on the bedside table.

"You need to eat, Grace. You haven't eaten anything since yesterday." He whispered, in his deep, raspy voice.

He didn't know I had been throwing out my food. I had finally gathered enough strength to pretend to at least be eating. "Yeah, okay." I said and I grabbed the sandwich, but he didn't leave. I looked at him as he watched me, gnawing on his lip ring nervously. I went to take a bite, but I couldn't. I looked at the peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of me, then took a quick bite. It tasted awful. Not that the sandwich was awful, it was I hadn't eaten in so long. My bones were starting to show, and I felt so weak, but this sandwich was going to make me feel like absolute shit. I watched him as I swallowed the chewed piece of sandwich. He seemed......relieved. I quickly put the sandwich back on the plate and he looked at me and shook his head.

"Callista is right, isn't she?" He asked quietly, his eyes looking at the ground as a sudden look of sadness washed over his handsome face.

"Right about what?" I asked nervously as he hugged me spontaneously and then kissed my cheek.

"You are suffering....I am so sorry. I didn't see it. I am so sorry, Grace." Andy said, and it killed me on the inside. I hugged him back as I choked back the tears.

"I'm not suffering, Andy. I'm fine, see." I said, trying to lie, but he knew.

"Callista told me, Grace. I know about your depression." He said strictly, but it wasn't scary. It was soft and it sounded like he could bust into tears any moment, but I knew he wouldn't.

"Fuck." I cursed under my breath before he crawled into bed with me and held me close. I lost it. I fucking lost it. I was in tears. Crying like an idiot, but I wasn't an idiot. I was actually suffering, and Andy knew. He rubbed my back, kissing my head as he held me close. I cried into his chest and he began to talk.

"Grace, please don't cry. You are so strong, and I know you will get through this. You always do." He whispered as he gently rocked me.

"I am not strong, Andy! Look at me, I am a mess. I am a train wreck! I am the definition of weak. I am not strong, I am so weak, so worthless." I cried as he stroked my pastel blue hair as he then sniffled slightly.

"You aren't weak, Grace. You are the strongest girl I know, and that will never change. I am here for you. I will ALWAYS be here for you." He said lifting up my chin as he wiped away my tears. "I love you so much, and you have no idea how much I love you."

I sniffled as he looked into my eyes. "Now one can ever love me." I said and then went to crawl out of his arms, but he held me back.

"Don't EVER say that!" He said, but his voice was stern. "You are loved by so many people. I will never let anyone hurt you ever again. You are my angel with flawed wings, but it doesn't mean no one can love you."

I struggled as I began to cry again. I pushed him off, and ran out of the room, but he chased after me. "Grace!" He yelled as I ran out into the storm. I didn't stop running. I just ran, and ran, not stopping to look back. I heard his voice fade as then the crack of thunder made me jump. I was dripping wet. My basket ball shorts and hoodie were soaked, my blue hair was drenched, and I was cold. I didn't stop running though. My weak legs carrying me as fast as they could to god knows where. I just ran, no telling where I would go or if anyone would find me.

+++

I sat in an alleyway, my knees pulled up to my chest. My body was freezing and I had been outside for the longest time. I rocked back and forth, my bare feet were starting to turn blue. I just kept whimpering and shivering though. I couldn't believe this.

It was still raining, and I realized this is what I am like on the inside. A storm that goes on, and on. Bringing you down, stopping you from doing everything except hiding from the fear you have to face. I sat in the alley, freezing cold. People didn't see me, I didn't see them. I just wanted to die....right here, right now.

Notes