Never Give In, Never Back Down

"Goodbye Ashley...promise you're coming back tomorrow with the others?" I hugged him tightly pleading, my eyes watering as I felt that familiar twinge of hopelessness, of isolation, radiate through my being. I didn't realize I'd gripped Andy's arm until he groaned in pain. "...sorry Andy."

"It's ok sweetheart." He cooed, brushing his fingers through my silky locks; "Will you be ok if I go to take a shower?" I nodded despite my arms slithering around his waist, constricting until his chest was pressed firmly against my forehead.

"...Andy...before you go...can we...?" I felt his tender digits curl beneath my chin, guiding my lowered gaze to his where I was met with his questioning countenance.

"Do you mean...?" He inquired his cerulean orbs digging into mine; Feeling my cheeks flush crimson as his spell broke and my gaze faltered landing back on my lap.

"gently....please..." The light in his eyes bounced giddily, a chuckle slipping through his lips, making my cheeks flame with embarrassment.

"tell me if there's something you don't like angel eyes." My vision flicking over him bouts of flaming butterflies waltzing giddy circles in my abdomen. Angel eyes; I liked it. His fingertips caressed the small of my back, swirling up my spine, and dancing through the forest of roots at the base of my skull; a low moan escaping my lips. Gently maneuvering my lips he captured them with his own. The light pressure made my head swim with desire; Even when he slipped his tongue past my lips he practiced caution, like I was fragile china and he feared a single breath might force me to crumble.

He coerced my back into meeting the springy mattress, leaning over my ample bosom to connect our lips in another loving caress of souls. A greedy whine abandoned my throat milliseconds before his digits nestled themselves beneath my camisole, skating it up my abdomen, over my breasts, finally depositing it over the edge of our bed. His fingertips left trails of heat wherever they landed. He felt my nipples harden beneath his touch, slowly lowering his head to the curve of my breast his lips melted over my skin, his tongue like licks of flame, fanning the fire in my heart. He drew breathy moans from my lungs as his fingers, lips, and tongue spilled over my body like paint over a canvas until I nearly begged him to take me.

His fingers hooked into the hem of my shorts, nibbling his way across my hips as he expertly removed the cloth from my otherwise naked frame. "Please..." I gasped as his tongue swirled deep within me, all other senses drowned in the feeling of love and lust intermingling with shallow breaths and swaying fingers. Pulling him up I skimmed my lips over every inch of his skin, his soft moans encouraging me to continue. Once he was as barren of threads as I was his nails pirouetted across my shoulders, waves of pleasure coursing through my veins as they continued their feathery path down my spine, my breath leaving in shudders and he guided himself into me. I felt full, almost overflowing and certainly beaming, nipping at his shoulder his thrusts deliberately leaden. At every caress I felt my orgasm drawing nearer, until a final deep thrust and shaky cry sent us both toppling over the abyss into ecstasy.

"Feel better angel eyes?" He smirked after several minutes of recovery, still buried hilt deep within my pulsating womb.

"Much." I sighed happily maneuvering to rest my head against his chest. I felt his heart beat, steady and strong, pulsing beneath my fingertips as his toyed with the ends of my hair letting it feather over my back as he released it. We remained that way until sleep overtook me.

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Nearly an hour after we made love I was able to slip, unnoticed, out of bed moaning sweetly as the hot water cascaded over my flesh. My mind wandered to Ash, poor thing hasn't been able to be alone since she woke up. Ashley and I were beginning to think we should have taken her to the hospital when we found her but, we figured it would have been more frightening had she awoken to I.V's, needles, and doctors; Knowing how much she despised medical environments we agreed not to put her through that on top of what she was already facing. It's tearing us all apart knowing that we can't save her from herself and even more harrowing that she refuses to speak about her nightmares anymore. She insists that we'll make her go back to, that place, if we knew.

~retching~

Quickly turning off the shower and dashing over the slippery floor I fell to my knees plucking her hair from her shoulders and rubbing soothing circles into her back. She didn't speak just heaved, even when there was nothing left for her to empty herself of. Retrieving a small cup of Listerine I handed it too her, waiting until she'd finished before scooping her into my arms, bridal style, and carrying her back to bed. I settled in beside her a few moments later tracing patterns into her neck as she sobbed and wailed into my chest.

"It's ok Ash, I'm here. I'm always here, it was just a dream." I chanted, my voice that of a ghost in the wind. What seemed like hours later her breathing leveled her fingers lacing behind my back drawing so close to me a single sheet of paper couldn't fit between us if it tried.

"I'm sorry Andy...I know this is difficult for you and if I could forget I would but, every time I close my eyes I relive it. Every time is just as horrifying as the last and I don't know what to do." She peeled herself from my arms murmuring she had to use the restroom before letting the door shut with a soft click.

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I rested my head against the frame of the door, the cool molding leaving a chill on my hot cheeks. With my gaze on my feet I shuffled to the counter, reaching up I took the edge between my fingers and thumb, a death like grip so that I could cast my eyes, unwavering, on the glass before me. My image thrashed violently between my own and that of the shadows in my dreams. I knew it wasn't real and yet I couldn't help but feel my sanity slipping away with every moment that ticked by me. The devil in the mirror chuckled darkly as my vision swelled, laden with tears. I couldn't hide from my demons anymore, they were with me everywhere I looked, always just out of sight but, their presence was undeniable. My breathing began to quicken with the oncoming of a panic attack, my vision pix-elating and dimming as I reached for the door crying out for Andy.

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"Andy!" I heard Ash scream and bolted through the door of the bathroom finding her asleep in the tub. I shook her shoulders crying out to her that I was here and she only needed to wake up. She jolted upright her breathing heavy, disheveled hair, and wild almost blind eyes. It took her a moment to come to and she threw herself about my neck latching on like the hounds of hell were licking at her heels. I pulled her out of the tub pressing my arm against her back for support, her feet floating inches above the ground as I hauled her back to bed. Tucking her between the sheets I enveloped her in my arms chanting that she was safe and nothing could hurt her in
my arms. I sang to her softly weaving my hands in her hair and rubbing comforting circles into her back once again. Before the end of the song she had fallen asleep, her even breath hot on my neck.

Glancing down I gazed upon her sleeping form. She looked so innocent, so peaceful when she wasn't in the midst of a nightmare. She's been awake for several weeks now and showing no sign of improvement. I was starting to panic, torn between feeling useless and begging her to seek professional help, or at least talk to me. We shared everything before she left and now I feel like she wants me to be close but, she's pushing me away. At risk of waking her I brushed my thumb over her sunken cheeks, my lips pressing gently to her forehead.

"Please, find it in your heart to trust me again."

Notes