Never Give In, Never Back Down

"Fuck G, I wish i could pay for school without working in this hell hole." I pulled out a pack of Marlboro's, yanking a
slim cig from its depths and lighting it.

"I know Ash, but you yourself said it's the only way, since your parents won't help out."

I looked down at my thin 105lb frame, flipping over my wrist in my hand watching the flame from my ciggarette dance
across the thin white scars. I wasn't happy about gaining those 5lbs.
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"Ashley! Hurry up you're going to make your brother late for school!" My mom screamed through the small house to the master
bathroom where i was currently emptying the contents of my stomach.

"I'm coming mom!!!" I slipped my fingers into my mouth and pressed them against the back of my throat feeling the bile rise up
telling me there was nothing else in my body. Once 280lbs and a freak to boot, now i was only 100lbs, still a freak, but i looked a lot
better. Flipping over my wrist I pulled a thin shiny razor blade from my jeans pocket and sliced across my wrist, punishing myself for
eating so much the night before. Quickly staunching the blood and slipping a BVB wrist band on i raced out of the house, straighening
my jean shorts as i grabbed the door to the car, swinging it open.

"fu....ck..." i muttered to myself, it's 7:45. I drove like a madman to school making the 20 minute drive last 8 minutes.

"Ashley, shit you're going to kill me one day!" my brother grabbed his bag and rushed down the sidewalk.

"Well look who it is." I spun around in time to feel the jab to my stomach. I looked up through my blood red bangs at the most
popular guy in school. "What are you looking at? ....fat, worthless whore." He spat in my face and walked toward the school. I jumped up
grabbed my BVB bag, slung it over my shoulder, and headed off to school ignoring the intense pain in my stomach. I walk in, looking
over at the two kids who used to be friends with me. Then i noticed they were headed my way.

"How's the cutting, bitch?" Kel's dark eyes turned on me. "Bet you just can't fucking wait to go get laid by your newest whore can
you?" A tear slipped from my eye, I was getting tired of this. It was my last day of senior year, things shouldn't be this bad, but i knew they
would be, it's been the same thing since 2nd grade. "Really you're still obsessed with that gay, whiney, teen angst shit." E said pointing to
my ripped up BVB shirt over my red tank. I pulled my Aviators down over my eyes and with as much grace as I could muster, stumbled
into the bathroom.

I bent down over the toilet and pushed my fingers down deep making me dry heave until stomach acid burnt my throat. I
needed to be thinner. Everyone still hates me, I NEED to be perfect. I cried silently, flushing and making my way to the sink. Pulling out
a makeup bag I fixed the damage I'd done. I pulled out my cell phone and flipped it from the back, which had the BVB signatures
scrawled across it in silver ink, my prized possession, and tapped on the screen to make it light up. After unlocking it I tapped on the
message from my mom. 'we need to talk when you get home.' Shit what'd I do now?

making my way into the auditorium I slipped down in my usual seat, away from everyone, hidden by darkness. The rest of the
day was a blur, people screaming at me, calling me a whore, being pushed up against walls and beaten, getting in trouble with teachers,
and throwing up every chance i got, trying to be perfect for all of them. Crying I slipped back into my car, well my parents car, dreading
whatever was going to happen when i got home. As my brother slid into the seat beside me I pushed my standard Purdy glasses down to
cover my eyes, so he wouldn't see i'd been crying.

"how was your day Ash?"

"Fine, you ready?" I asked pulling off and headed home. The minute we pulled into the driveway a sense of fear dropped over me.
I hated coming home. I grabbed my bag and walked into the house. The first thing I see is an envelope perched between my mom's hands.
The second thing, my dad standing behind her.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ASHLEY?" My mom spat in my face as I pushed my bag off my shoulder and took the envelope from her
hand. I glanced down my eyes lighting up when I saw it was from the college in LA I'd applied for, without my parents knowledge.

"It's a college letter, telling me whether I've been accepted or denied."

"When the fuck were we supposed to find this out?" My dad stepped out from behind my mom, warning me not to say something
stupid.

"When I left," I ripped open the letter, staring at the sentence claiming I was accepted. "Well, looks like I'm accepted, and
leaving in a month." My dad swung at me and when I ducked he grabbed me by my throat pinning me against the wall. I struggled to
get away but as his fist connected to my jaw, i gave up. I let him beat me, listened to the words of my peers pour from his lips, feeling
the blows all over my body. when he felt satisfied he walked away leaving me bruised and bleeding on the floor. I could see my mom sigh
and walk away, throughout everything I hadn't shed a single tear, but now i cried openly. Somehow i pulled myself together and forced
myself to stand through the pain and get in the shower. I washed all traces of blood from my body, wincing when the rag would pass over
a open wound or a bad bruise. I climbed into bed and cried myself to sleep feeling completely alone.
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"Yo, earth to Ash!" I looked over at G, nothing had really changed, i still got beat by people who stopped me on the street after
my shift, people still screamed at me and called me a slut, although now they are right. I looked up at the gentleman's club G and I
worked for, our shift about to start.

"Let's head in G." I put on a smile, stripped, and slid into my outfit for the night. I watched G perform from offstage, watching
the men ogle her and wishing I didn't have to go on next. Running to the tiny bathroom backstage I threw up trying to make those extra
pounds disappear, looking in the mirror all i saw was a disgusting, fat, whore. I got back just in time to walk on stage. I closed my eyes
and as the lights came up I started dancing. I lost myself in the feeling of the pole against my fingers, the feeling of fame that I knew I'd
never get. Halfway through my Act I opened my eyes, they landed dead center at a certain rockstar entering the room. Ashley Purdy. I
watched him slip some money to the barman and when my song went off i slipped offstage, glancing at him one last time.

G patted me on the shoulder as my boss walked over to me. "You've got a customer. Room 6." That was all he said before he
sauntered off, no doubt to go get a whore of his own. I peeked into the room, seeing a toned chest peeking out from under the sheets of the
bed. I pushed the door open and my jaw dropped when i saw Ashley sitting there. His Sunglasses and cowboy hat were unmistakable.

"So you like my band i see." His voice rushed over me as he flashed his standard Purdy smile. I looked down finding no trace of
his band on my body. "haha, you were dancing to Sex and Hollywood tonight." I was? Shit I forgot my whole soundtrack was black veil
brides. He held out his hand beckoning me closer. I took his hand and he pulled me onto the bed, pinning me under him. He wasn't
wearing a shirt so i traced his 'outlaw' tattoo and chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"Just thinking about how much of an outlaw you are." He bent down and kissed me, making me gasp. I felt his tongue slide into
my mouth and down my body removing clothing as he went. I bit at his neck and shoulders, letting my tongue slide down his toned chest,
tracing his outlaw tattoo, that damn thing entertained me so much. I finally removed his pants looking up into his lust filled eyes i bent
down and took him in my mouth, swirling my tongue around his slit and sucking down around the base making him moan. He laced
his strong fingers in my hair and forced my head down until i felt i was going to gag. I knew he was close by the look on his face, so I bit
back up his lean body and kissed his lips.

"Fucking tease." He chuckled and once again pinned me underneath him. Before i knew it he was inside me, making me moan,
both of us begging for our release. Once he was satisfied, and i was too, he got up and began pulling on his pants while i lit a cigarette.

"Hey, what's your name anyway?" He pulled out a piece of paper that showed a picture of the band on it. "and you got a pen?"

"My name's Ashley, but round here everyone calls me Ash." I said looking down at my body knowing as soon as he left i'd have
to make myself sick again. Being around Ashley made me self-conscious.

"well, um....Ash you want an autograph? I know you like the band, I asked your boss." He sat on the bed pulling me into his lap.

"No, I was hoping I could talk to you guys. I swear i'm not one of those creepy ass fans that just want to tell you all how sexy you
are and fuck you." We looked at each other and laughed knowing that obviously even if it wasn't what i wanted i'd still gotten to fuck the
great Ashley Purdy.

"Sure, what time you get off...Ash, Fuck, that's really weird to say my own name out loud." I chuckled and took the sheet of paper
from his hand. I searched for my pen before digging it out of a drawer and copying donw my number, telling him i'd meet him out front
in about two hours, if I was late to text me.

"Ok." Was all he said before leaving the room.
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Two Hours Later

I pulled on my over sized BVB shirt, more like a dress since it reached mid thigh, and checked my makeup in the mirror. I pulled
on my sunglasses and hid my eyes behind a curtain of black hair, Andy styled of course. I set my handcuff belt around my waist and
snapped on my bullet wrist band, and my BVB wrist band. Finally pushing my rings onto my fingers I slipped my phone out of my
cleavage to check the time. When i unlocked the screen i had a message from an unknown number.

'Ash, where are you? -Purdy Porn BVB' my heart beat faster when i realized the message had to be from Ashley. I quickly sent
a response saying i'd be out in a second to come around to the back alley. Sliding on my converse, that i'd decorated, I slid into the
back alley watching as a group of men started my way. I turned to run as one of them grabbed me and slammed his hand into my
stomach. I was up against the wall, i felt someone tugging at my shirt, when the motion suddenly stopped i cracked my eye open to see
none other than Ashley Purdy beating the living shit out of the guy.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing to her?" Venom dripped from every word.

"Do you see were the little whore works? She fucking deserves it, She's nothing but trash, fucking freak."

"Wrong move." Ashley muttered, that was the last thing i heard before i passed out.

Notes