Will this ever work?
life is life.
It was perfect.
Everything.
I’ve never been happier before, never felt better.
Being with Andy had changed everything. And he changed me, like Vincent has said. It felt strange to finally admit this. I was more balanced and I found out how valuable the little things in life were. I appreciated everything Andy did for me. And he literally did everything for me. Touring was unbelievably exciting, the landscapes and cities I got to see were unique and being able to make this much of backstage experiences was awesome. I got to know so many incredible people whose works really impressed me. But the best of all still was the time I spent alone with Andy. In fact I got to know him better and better with each trip we made. It was incredible how much I loved him, how strong our relationship grew and how none of us could imagine a life without each other anymore. Everytime we were separated I felt like I’d lost my other half.
Four months after I had left – we were in Mexico celebrating our “first anniversary” – my mother called for the first time. It was all a useless stammering, more or less. She wanted to know where I was, where I lived and when I was going to come back home. When I made clear that I didn’t intend to come back in the near future I knew it was hard for her. I didn’t want to hear her cry but she almost did. I bit my lower lip. “Does he make you happy?” she asked and her voice sounded fragile. I looked at Andy who stood next to me, giving me a searching look. The sight of his breathtaking beautiful face made me smile. “Yeah. He does.” He smiled that unbelievable smile. “Okay … all right then …” my mum whispered. “Bye.”“Bye.”
I hang up and sighed. “She hates me.”
“No she doesn’t. She misses you. And she doesn’t want to accept that you chose to go your own way even if that was in a quite stirring way. She’ll get over it eventually.” Andy asserted and consoling ran his hand over my hair. “Yeah I hope so.”
But although I was happy to live and travel with the band I felt that there was some resentment among the guys. Yes, they seemed to accept me but this was already it. They didn’t get in touch with me; it was always me who had to take this part. Especially Ashley didn’t seem to like me very much. However I didn’t do anything about it because creating trouble within the band wasn’t my intention. Anyway I felt good when I was with Andy and – for me – that was all that mattered.
“God she’s so … annoying!”
“Oh please. Not again.”
“It’s not my fault! Why do they have to make out just when I come in?!”
“Because they’re in love, for God’s sake!”
“But –“
“No but! If you don’t want to “suffer” anymore then fuckin’ tell him!”
“I can’t!”
“You can! Do you really think Andy or anybody else won’t find out about it if you keep behaving like this?!”
“What do you mean “behaving like this”?
“Oh come on! Since Vic is with us you’ve been behaving completely stupid towards her! Do you think she doesn’t get that?”
“…”
“Listen … Andy appreciates you in a very honest way. He appreciates you as a very good friend. If you want to keep your secret, do it. But in case you freak out sometime and yell some … unfortunate things into any faces … remember: I told you. Andy won’t hate you and you know that.”
When I took a look at my watch for the second time it was about 2:30 in the morning.
I sighed.
I heard Andy breathing constantly next to me. For a while I admired his delicately chiseled cheek bones, the long lashes and the full lips.
How and why did I deserve someone like him?
Carefully I lifted his arm that lay on my hip and laid him on the blanket.
Insecurely I stood up and went downstairs as quietly as possible. I didn’t want to wake up anybody.
In absolute darkness I went to the fridge. I really needed some ice-cold water right know; there were definitely too many depressing thoughts in my mind. I blinked against the glaring light and waited until I got used to the brightness. While I searched for the water bottles between all of these beer bottles someone suddenly turned on the kitchen light.
“Oh it’s you again.”
I was frightened as I heard this voice, turned to the door and saw him.
The boy with the A.
Everything.
I’ve never been happier before, never felt better.
Being with Andy had changed everything. And he changed me, like Vincent has said. It felt strange to finally admit this. I was more balanced and I found out how valuable the little things in life were. I appreciated everything Andy did for me. And he literally did everything for me. Touring was unbelievably exciting, the landscapes and cities I got to see were unique and being able to make this much of backstage experiences was awesome. I got to know so many incredible people whose works really impressed me. But the best of all still was the time I spent alone with Andy. In fact I got to know him better and better with each trip we made. It was incredible how much I loved him, how strong our relationship grew and how none of us could imagine a life without each other anymore. Everytime we were separated I felt like I’d lost my other half.
Four months after I had left – we were in Mexico celebrating our “first anniversary” – my mother called for the first time. It was all a useless stammering, more or less. She wanted to know where I was, where I lived and when I was going to come back home. When I made clear that I didn’t intend to come back in the near future I knew it was hard for her. I didn’t want to hear her cry but she almost did. I bit my lower lip. “Does he make you happy?” she asked and her voice sounded fragile. I looked at Andy who stood next to me, giving me a searching look. The sight of his breathtaking beautiful face made me smile. “Yeah. He does.” He smiled that unbelievable smile. “Okay … all right then …” my mum whispered. “Bye.”“Bye.”
I hang up and sighed. “She hates me.”
“No she doesn’t. She misses you. And she doesn’t want to accept that you chose to go your own way even if that was in a quite stirring way. She’ll get over it eventually.” Andy asserted and consoling ran his hand over my hair. “Yeah I hope so.”
But although I was happy to live and travel with the band I felt that there was some resentment among the guys. Yes, they seemed to accept me but this was already it. They didn’t get in touch with me; it was always me who had to take this part. Especially Ashley didn’t seem to like me very much. However I didn’t do anything about it because creating trouble within the band wasn’t my intention. Anyway I felt good when I was with Andy and – for me – that was all that mattered.
“God she’s so … annoying!”
“Oh please. Not again.”
“It’s not my fault! Why do they have to make out just when I come in?!”
“Because they’re in love, for God’s sake!”
“But –“
“No but! If you don’t want to “suffer” anymore then fuckin’ tell him!”
“I can’t!”
“You can! Do you really think Andy or anybody else won’t find out about it if you keep behaving like this?!”
“What do you mean “behaving like this”?
“Oh come on! Since Vic is with us you’ve been behaving completely stupid towards her! Do you think she doesn’t get that?”
“…”
“Listen … Andy appreciates you in a very honest way. He appreciates you as a very good friend. If you want to keep your secret, do it. But in case you freak out sometime and yell some … unfortunate things into any faces … remember: I told you. Andy won’t hate you and you know that.”
When I took a look at my watch for the second time it was about 2:30 in the morning.
I sighed.
I heard Andy breathing constantly next to me. For a while I admired his delicately chiseled cheek bones, the long lashes and the full lips.
How and why did I deserve someone like him?
Carefully I lifted his arm that lay on my hip and laid him on the blanket.
Insecurely I stood up and went downstairs as quietly as possible. I didn’t want to wake up anybody.
In absolute darkness I went to the fridge. I really needed some ice-cold water right know; there were definitely too many depressing thoughts in my mind. I blinked against the glaring light and waited until I got used to the brightness. While I searched for the water bottles between all of these beer bottles someone suddenly turned on the kitchen light.
“Oh it’s you again.”
I was frightened as I heard this voice, turned to the door and saw him.
The boy with the A.
okay I finally read it and its really good
1/13/14