Together Burning Bright

Andy stood there in front of her and he had no idea what to say. Dess was laying in their bunk, her swollen belly sticking up in the air and he could tell she had been crying from the tear stains running down her cheeks. Fuck-he had never meant for things to get this bad and he knew he should’ve just said no when Ben and Danny asked him if he wanted a drink or two. He’d had two beers and a shot, so he had been feeling pretty good by the time Dess showed back up to the tent. She looked okay-a little sunburned and tired but she was in one piece. Then Yanni had told him about the crazy lady who had held Dess captive and Andy immediately saw red.

If Dess had only listened to him none of it would have happened, but there again Danny pretty much told him to his face that he was being a wanker and he needed to stop. Andy was scared-shit he was beyond scared and he knew that he had been an ass. What was he supposed to do? Dess was pregnant and intent on living a normal life, but he knew the perils of being famous. People wanted things from you-acted like they deserved to have everything from you and they would do anything to get it.

He had lost his cool and he knew it and as soon as it happened Andy had put down his drink. He grabbed as much water as he could and chugged-anything to sober up before Dess disappeared forever. Someone had told him that they saw her head towards the bus and as Andy ran towards the behemoth vehicle, he only hoped he wouldn’t find her packing.

No, she wasn’t packing-thankfully-but instead she was before him, laying silently in their bunk with three pictures spread across her stomach and her cheeks red and tear stained. Odessa said nothing as she looked up at him, giving him a light smile as she patted the mattress beside her. Andy was shocked-he had expected yelling, screaming and crying-he expected what he deserved, but instead he found his wife calmly waiting for him. They said nothing as Andy got in to the bunk and Dess was on him, her head resting against his chest as her tiny fingers swirled patterns on his t-shirt. They laid like that for a bit, silent and still until finally Odessa sighed heavily and sat up to look him in the eyes.


“I’m sorry.” She said, sniffing loudly and he felt shock wash over his face. She was sorry? For what?

“I’m the one who should be sorry babe and I am…please believe me when I say that I am beyond sorry at this point.” He had one hand on her cheek, his thumb rubbing across her skin gently as his other hand scratched the back of his shaved head.

“No, I over reacted. Neither one of us knows what we’re doing and I shouldn’t take my fear out on you…” Dess was looking at him and Andy could tell that she was still trying to hold back tears. She had been very emotional over the past month and everything he read told him that her hormones were completely wacked out right now with the baby coming so soon.

“I need to realize that I can’t shelter you from the world entirely.” Andy admitted and Dess was somewhat shocked. Andy rarely admitted when he was wrong and even when he did it was just to smooth things over. He sounded sincere and the look on his face proved just how sincere he was being.

“Finally…” Dess sighed and Andy had to hold in the sigh that wanted to escape his lips. Was she really going to rub this in right now? He was apologizing and admitting he was wrong-why couldn’t she just stay calm and let him apologize?

“Alright, no need to rub it in. I was wrong…” He was grumbling now and suddenly Dess felt bad. Why had she been doing this lately? Always lashing out at Andy…

“Sorry. I-I talked to my mom before you got here and she was telling me that my dad acted the same way while she was pregnant with me…” Dess explained, pressing a kiss to the skin of his throat and Andy felt a little better.

“Well your dad didn’t know about your family history…” Andy said quietly and suddenly he felt terrible. His fear of losing a child to the same cancer that took Moira from them was something that Andy kept very close to his heart-not even Dess knew about it really.

“What? Is-is that what all of this over protective stuff is about?” She asked and Odessa felt the tears come to her eyes as she sat up fully and looked at Andy.

“Well, I mean yeah.” Andy felt the blush creep across his neck and suddenly it felt very hot in that tiny bunk. Dess was looking at him, her moss green eyes wide with shock as she looked at him and then bit down on her lip ring.

“I’m sorry my family genetics are ruining your life-it’s not something I wanted for myself either…” Dess scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and she sighed heavily. This was not something she could help and Andy knew what he was getting in to before he proposed to her, married her and knocked her up. So why was it suddenly a big issue?

“Babe don’t be like that-I didn’t mean it like that…” Andy said, his lower lip pouting out and Dess looked away from him. That was the one thing she couldn’t resist-his pout and Andy knew it.


Odessa looked down at her legs-they were swollen and covered in bruises from walking around and bumping into people. The black and red sheets of their bunk were all mussed up, crumpled and wrinkled from them sleeping. This bunk-this bus, had been her home for so long and suddenly Dess felt nostalgic. She and Andy had spent so many happy times on the bus-watching movies, cuddling, planning their wedding and now here they were…mending their marriage. But could it be mended? Andy was expressing some real concerns and sadly they weren’t concerns that Dess could easily fix.

What would happen if one day their daughter got sick? If they took her to the doctor and got that terrible news…could Dess handle it? She knew Andy wouldn’t be able to-he was so looking forward to having their daughter in their lives that Dess couldn’t bear to think about what would happen if they lost her somehow. She looked up at Andy and her heart stopped. His beautiful blue eyes were filled with tears as he looked at her and she knew he was thinking the same things she was. What would they do if her family history reared its ugly head once again?

They wrapped their arms around one another, hugging as they both cried over their shared fear of losing a child that had yet to be born. They had both been through so much and Dess knew that things had only started for the couple. It wouldn’t get any easier having children-they needed to be loved and protected more than Dess or Andy and she knew that. Odessa pulled away from him and smiled as Andy wiped at her cheeks, ridding her of her tears before taking on his own. The couple were now sitting across from one another-their fight forgotten but they still had so much to talk about.


“Do you think she’s going to love me?” Andy said, his voice small and childlike as he broke the silence and looked up at his wife. Dess was sitting there, smiling at him softly as she reached out and grabbed for one of his hands and squeezed.

“I think she’s going to absolutely adore you. How could she not?” Dess was smiling at him and Andy couldn’t help but feel silly asking her that question.

“But what if she hates me? What if I’m a huge disappointment to her?” Andy asked as he flopped back against the pillows and brought Dess with him. Her stomach was pressing against his and he could feel their little one kicking and pushing. God-this little girl was going to be something when she got old enough.

“Andy she’s going to hate you at some point-we all hated our parents at one point or another.” Dess reasoned. She’d had a fight with her own mother not even a year ago and the two had not patched things up until Dess and Andy’s wedding.

“What’s going to happen when you can’t tour with us anymore? What will my little girl think of me when I can’t be there for her?” Andy asked, his blue eyes shining with fresh tears and Dess felt her heart break.


It was true-there would come a time when she would no longer be able to go on tour with the band and bring her daughter a long for the ride. Children went to school and even though home schooling was an option, Dess wanted her children to be as normal as possible. She and Andy had had long conversations about how they wanted to raise their kids and they agreed on most things.

They would have their kids pick an instrument-whatever they wanted-and they would have to spend at least three years learning it. But they weren’t going to push things on their kids-sports, dance or anything like that was completely up to the child in question. Dess also wanted the kids to be treated as normally as possible.

They would have to earn their money-it would not be handed over to them. They would go outside and play-no sitting inside and vegging in front of the television or computer. When they got older, tattoos and piercings were okay but it had to be discussed and kept within reason. Andy and the guys had also talked and there was conversation going around that they, when the time came, would try to tour in the summer time and winter time. That way Andy and whoever else had a family at that point, could be home during the important times of the year and the families could all tour during the summer break for the kids. All in all it seemed like the couple had things under control-until now.


“Andy, whatever happens, your family is always going to love you. We will tour with you when we can and when we can’t there are great things like Skype and facetime. Trust me-our child is not going to hate you.” She was reassuring him, but somehow Andy couldn’t shake the feeling in his stomach.

He was going to be bad father.

“What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t make her laugh?! What if she only cries around me…” He sounded so sad and looked even more so. Dess could only smile up at him as she moved to place her lips against his.

“Andrew-stop. You are going to be a wonderful father, just like you are a wonderful husband. We are going to have some ups and downs in life, but that’s okay because we will have one another.” Andy said nothing as he looked down at the beautiful girl before him and wondered how he got so lucky.


Most girls would just let him wallow, pity him and make him feel better. Not Dess-she knew he was being ridiculous and she let him know just how much. Of course he wasn’t going to be a bad father-he’d had a great example in his own dad and Andy knew that. Dess would always be there for him, when he had questions and concerns she would be there with the best answer she knew of. As the two of them laid there and talked of their future with their daughter, Andy felt more and more comfortable with the thought of being a dad. It had never really hit him until now-he was going to be a father.

That bump on Dess’ stomach was going to soon be his crying, screaming daughter and he would finally get to hold her for the first time. Andy had never thought he would find happiness in the thought of holding a baby, but even now as he and Dess laid in their bunk quietly, he couldn’t keep the smile from his face. He looked down, Dess’ blonde hair was spread out on his chest as she laid there and he just smiled at he placed a kiss against the top of her head. She looked up at him, her eyes sleepy and he knew then that she was probably exhausted-they were just getting to the beginning of being exhausted.


“If you want to go back out and hang with Danny-I’ll be okay here by myself.” She smiled at him and Andy only returned her smile with one of his own and pulled her closer. He pressed his nose into her hair, inhaling the scent of her lemon and vanilla shampoo as they stayed there together.

“Nope-not going anywhere. We’re a family and families stick together…” He whispered as he kissed her lips.


Dess smiled in to their kiss as she felt his hands rub over her stomach and there, just as his thumb ran over her belly button…was a very faint kick. They were a family…they always would be.

Notes

You didn't really think I was going to break them up...did you?

Review and I will update on tuesday.

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