Jinxx’s Point of View


Andy pulled away from Ashley and smiled as he brought a hand up to Ashley’s face to gently rub his thumb against Ashley’s cheek. Even standing as far away as I was from them I could see the pure love they had for each other, and I felt my heart shatter into a thousand sharp pieces.

I wanted to storm up to them. I wanted to scream at Ashley and slap Andy across the face. I wanted to cause a huge scene so that everyone would know how hurt I was. And I wanted to break down and start sobbing on the floor, but I couldn’t. Doing all those things would mean losing Andy, and even though I knew he cheated on me by fucking Ashley last night, and even though I just saw Andy kiss Ashley right in front of me, I still loved Andy more than anything in the world. I blinked back my tears and calmly walked up to my boyfriend and best friend.

“Andy?” I whispered so that my voice wouldn’t crack and betray the fact that I wanted nothing more than to break down and cry.

Andy turned and looked at me. When he realised it was me his eyes widened. His fear filled eyes showed that clearly he was wondering just how much I had seen.

“Can I talk to you for a minute? Please?”

“Uh, yeah. Of course.” Andy replied, his voice shaky and unsure.

I turned to Ashley and forced a sad smile. As much as I wished I could hate him, I couldn’t. After all, it was Andy that had kissed him, and Andy that had gone over to his house last night. Besides, in a way I had stolen Andy away from Ashley to begin with. Yes, Andy was the one who had dumped Ashley and had chosen to be with me, but wasn’t I the one who leaned in to kiss Andy that one day in the bathroom? Wasn’t I the one that constantly flirted with Andy despite the fact that I knew that he was dating Ashley? Wasn’t I the one who had agreed to be Andy’s boyfriend, even though I knew how heartbroken and how much Ashley loved and cared about Andy?

So even though I wanted nothing more than to hate and blame everything on Ashley I couldn’t because I had basically done the exact same thing to him.

“We’ll be back.” I said. “Hold our spot in line?”

“Sure.” Ashley replied weakly, glancing quickly at Andy who was standing quietly beside me.

I forced a smile again and walked away, only looking back once to make sure Andy was following. I led him down the escalator and out the front doors so that he could have a smoke during out talk. Andy always needed to chain-smoke during stressful situations.

I stood by one of the benches and shivered slightly as the chilly wind blew through my hair. Andy came to a stop in front of me and I watched as he reached into his pocket to grab his first of many smokes to come.

“What is it baby?” He asked quietly, trying to sound cheerful. He failed miserably.

“I know.” I replied simply. It wasn’t in an aggressive tone. If anything I just sounded tired.

Andy froze with his unlit smoke still in his mouth, lighter half way to the smoke. He decided to play dumb.

“Know about what?” This time Andy didn’t even try to pretend to be cheerful. He knew what I was talking about; the kiss. What he didn’t know is I knew about everything.

“I know you still love him. I know you still want to be with him. I know about the kiss you shared just now. And I know about last night.”

“What?” Andy whispered, tears coming to his eyes. He didn’t even try and deny any of it. There wasn’t a point. “How could you know about last night?”

“I woke up before you got back. I wanted for an hour for you to come home but you didn’t. When you finally did you were hung over as hell and I knew you went to Ashley’s.”

Andy didn’t respond. He looked down and finally lit his smoke, taking a long drag. He cleared his throat and looked up towards the sky, biting his lip as he exhaled through his nose.

“I know you had sex with him.” I said after a moment of watching him fiddle with his lip ring.

Andy looked at me, his eyes wide with horror.

“It’s obvious. You went over to his house after trying to have sex with me but me telling you no.” I explained before he got a chance to respond.

“It wasn’t my intention to have sex with him.” Andy whispered, looking down.

“Oh?” I was trying my hardest to stay calm. I didn’t want to lose him, I didn’t. I didn’t want to lose my boyfriend as well as my best friend, I just didn’t want there to be lies between us anymore.

“No. I honestly did just go outside for a smoke. But I really needed someone to talk to, and I didn’t want to bother you again. Besides, I felt stupid for coming on to you. I knew everyone would be asleep except for Ashley, so I called him.” Andy paused to take a drag off his smoke. “When he answered I could tell he was drunk. Like, super drunk. And he was cutting himself.”

“What? Why?”

“Because he felt guilty about going on a date with Sandra when he knew he was just using her to get over me. I was scared he was going to do something stupid like try and kill himself, so I ran over there. After cleaning him up we began talking and drinking. Eventually I got… so, so drunk… and one thing led to another. I’m so sorry Jinxx.”

I held up my hand to stop him and shook my head. “No, it’s my fault. I rushed into things with you after you broke up with Ashley. I knew he still loved you, and part of me knew you still loved him. I was selfish. I still am selfish. And fucking stupid.”

“How?”

I paused. My head was telling me one thing, but my heart was telling me another. I decided to go with my heart. “Because I’m not breaking up with you. I still don’t want to lose you because I still love you.”

Andy’s mouth opened in shock. “Bu-but I cheated on you…”

“I know. But I still love you. I told you before I wouldn’t let you go back to Ashley without fighting for you. If you want to go back to Ashley, you need to be the one who ends it with me.”

“Jinxx…”

“No. No more lying, no more cheating. If you want me, stay with me. But that means you can’t be anymore than friends with Ashley from this point on. If that’s not what you want, then you need to end things with me.”

“I can’t choose Jinxx. I love you both so much.” Andy said, tears running down his face. He looked away and took a drag off his smoke, letting the tears run down his face.

We were silent for a moment while Andy smoked. “Can I steal a drag?” I asked, just to break the silence.

Andy looked at me like I was crazy, but handed over the smoke anyway.

“I didn’t think you smoked.” Andy said quietly.

I shrugged, taking a drag. The smoke burnt my throat all the way down and I tried not to cough when I replied, “I don’t.”

We were silent for a few minutes. I tried handing back the smoke but Andy told me to keep it since it was almost dead anyway. He pulled out another one out of his pack and lit it.

“Andy… I love you and I don’t want to lose you. So… This is what I’m going to suggest. I say we end things now-”

“Jin-”

I put my hand up to stop him. “No. Just listen. I think we should end things now so you can go back to Ashley. Date him, fuck him, I don’t care. Then, when he moves, we can get back together if you still want me. And if I still want you. Deal?”


A/N: I finished my last paper and felt the urge to keep writing… So I wrote this shitty little filler. =)

I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this. This was supposed to end like, five chapters ago I think. xD Is this getting too long? I don’t know… What are the lengths of other fanfics? I honestly have no idea.

Are you guys liking the length and where this is going? Lemme know. And if your opinion is negative PLEASE tell me anyway. I know I say this every time, but I honestly mean it: any type of comment, positive or negative makes me happy.

Also, I just wrote this in like, under fifteen minutes and haven’t bothered to read back through it… So I’m REALLY sorry if there are any mistakes. A lot of people have commented on how well written and how good the grammar is in this fanfic and I really don’t wanna fuck that up. :P

See you next chapter! (Which I hope will be out soon.)

I love you all! Thank you for sticking with this story this long.

xoxoxoxoxo