Ashley’s Point of View

The three of us fell into silence once again when Sandra stopped speaking. Even the other people in the coffee shop seemed to quiet down; their individual conversations reduced to something of a quiet buzz. It was almost as if the knew that speaking loudly after Sandra’s confession would be considered wrong, almost something like a sin. Of course, this was only an illusion; they didn’t care about our problems because they were too caught up in their own lives and the struggles they may be facing themselves. We were alone in the world, we all were. We were all born alone and we would all die alone. Feeling otherwise was just an illusion to soften the blow of reality.

At least you have your parents. If you didn’t have anyone else, at least you have them. I reminded myself. Sandra has no one but us. No one but her friends.

At the thought I felt my throat tighten. I gulped, trying hard not the cry, and reached across the table to grab Sandra’s hand. As I used my thumb to gently trace circles on her hand, I was reminded of the first time Sandra and I properly talked and became friends. She had admitted to being deeply in love with Andy and I had grabbed her hand in an attempt to comfort her. A soft smiled made my lips rise as Sandra looked up, her tears streaking down her face, smudging her eyeliner. Immediately my smile faded.

“Sandra, fuck. Man I never knew. I’m so sorry.” I whispered, struggling to find the right words to not only comfort her, but to also express how truly sorry I was.

“It’s okay Ashley. It’s not your fault.” Sandra replied as she looked back down at the table. She started picking at her nail polish again. “It’s mine. I’m clearly not worthy of anyone’s love.”

I squeezed Sandra’s hand harshly, accidently digging my nails into her skin. She winced slightly as she looked back up. “Sandra, listen to me very closely. You are worthy of all the love in the entire fucking world, actually, in the entire fucking known universe. I love you, CC loves you, Jinxx loves you, Jake loves you, and to be honest Andy probably loves you more than all of us combined. Maybe not in the way you want him to, but he still loves you. If your parents don’t love you, well, that sounds like that’s their problem, not yours. They’re missing out on a really great girl by being complete ass holes.”

Sandra smiled softly, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes and more tears trickled from her eyes. “Thank you Ash.” She said quietly. “But, if they ever found out I was gay…”

I cut her off quickly, not wanting her to say it. “They wont. It’s fucking horrible that you have to hide such a big part of your life from them, but if they’re really as bad as you say they are it’s for the best.”

“How do you know they wont find out?” Sandra asked, looking down once again.

“Well, how could they without you telling them?”

“People talk Ashley. If word gets out, or if the wrong person sees me with Kina, they might tell my parents.”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out; I had nothing to say to that. I glanced at Kina, looking for help. She made eye contact with me, smiled softly and looked down with a small shrug. Great fucking help she is.

For the millionth time that day the three of us fell into silence, but this time the silence was just awkward. We had nothing to say to each other. I cleared my throat.

“What time is it?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t sounding rude or inconsiderate. I just had nothing to say to offer comfort to Sandra because she was right.

Sandra looked at me before looking back down to dig her phone out of her pocket. “Twelve.”

“Oh.”

Once again we fell back into fucking silence, but this time it was Kina who decided to break it, for which I was extremely thankful.

“So, I’m really sorry to be running out on you like this Sandra, especially, like, now… But I have somewhere to be. I’ll text you later, okay?” Kina said, looking at Sandra.

Sandra gave her a soft smile. “It’s okay. Ashley and I are supposed to be meeting up with the guys right about now anyway. I’ll see you later.”

“Sounds good sweetie.” Kina said as she stood up. She grabbed her bag off the floor and leaned down to give Sandra a quick, soft kiss on the lips.

I gagged a bit but forced myself to smile and politely say goodbye to my bitch of an ex. Kina smiled at me, an expression in her eyes that I couldn’t read, and left. Sandra watched her walk out the door before turning back to me.

“Should we go then?” She asked. My only response was a nod before I stood up.

---

Sandra and I arrived at Andy’s a little after 12:20. Jinxx was the one who answered the door when I knocked. When he saw me he gave me a huge smile, which made me breathe out the breath I hadn’t realised I was holding in. If he was happy to see me that meant that Andy didn’t tell him what happened between us last night, and for that I was extremely relieved.

“Hey guys, how did your date go?” Jinxx chuckled, moving aside to let us in.

Sandra gave me a worried glance and I just laughed. “Andy told you, eh?”

“Of course he did. You know him, the kid can’t keep his mouth shut.” Jinxx replied.

Obviously he can about some things. The voice in my head muttered, but I just ignored it. “Everyone knows?”

“Yes! We know!” I heard Jake yell from somewhere in the house. Sandra let out a nervous chuckle and I shook my head with a smile, stepping into the house. I walked quickly into the living room where I found Jake and Andy sitting on the floor, Xbox controllers in hand.

“Eat my fucking dick, Jake!” Andy yelled, laughing.

“That’s Jinxx’s job, ass hole.” Jake replied. From the look of pure annoyance on his face he was losing, and badly. I laughed slightly, causing CC to look up from his spot on the couch where he was previously watching Andy and Jake play while continuously stuffing chips into his mouth.

“Hey Ash!” He yelled excitedly, a little louder than necessary. Jake looked over at me for a quick second and then back at the screen.

“FUCK.” He yelled, throwing the controller to the ground. Andy laughed and jumped up, doing a victory dance of some sort.

“Motherfucker! I am victorious. Suck on that bitch! Suck on that!”

Jake rolled his eyes and turned away from Andy, who was shaking his ass in Jake’s general direction, and turned back to me with a smile.

“So, your date with Sandra. Spill, loverboy.”

At this point, Sandra had entered the room too and was standing beside me. I glanced over at her and saw she was looking at me with pleading eyes. Of course, I didn’t actually know what she wanted me to say or not to say, but I took a guess: she didn’t want me to mention her being gay or dating Kina. I looked back over at CC, Andy, Jake and Jinxx, who had stepped into the living room sometime during the conversation.

“It went fine. We grabbed a coffee, talked and-”

“Annnnd?” CC asked, cutting me off excitedly.

I gave him a pointed look. “And nothing. We decided we are better off as friends, especially because I’m moving soon.” I finished.

“Well that was anti-climatic.” Andy said, obviously joking. I saw a small smirk pull at the corners of his lips. “Come on Jake, let’s play again so I can kick your ass. Again.”

“Noo. You’re cheating somehow, I know you are.” Jake whined. “CC, you play with him. You’re better at this stupid game.”

CC smiled and shoved a handful of chips into his mouth before jumping off the couch and taking his place next to Andy on the floor.

I chuckled and sat down on the couch to watch Andy and CC.

“Hey there beautiful.” Jake said with a wink, plopping down next to me and grabbing some chips.

“Oi. Just because nothing happened between Ash and Sandra doesn’t mean you can start hitting on him, Jake.” Andy said, not taking his eyes off of the screen.

“Jealous?” Jake sang, sliding closer to me so that he could place his arm around my shoulder. Obviously he was joking just to try and get under Andy’s skin, so I chuckled and went along with the joke, leaning into Jake.

“Oh Jake, you’re sooo handsome.” I said in a high-pitched voice. That caused Andy to glance away from the screen to look at us. Then he remembered what he was doing and quickly looked back at the screen, but it was too late. That one second he looked away gave CC the upper hand and a minute later Andy had his ass handed to him.

“Fuck yeah dude.” CC said, copying Andy’s victory dance. Whether it was intended to mock him, or CC was just a sore winner like Andy, I didn’t know.

“That’s no fair! Jake and Ashley were distracting me!” Andy yelled, only half serious.

“Too bad, dude. When you’re playing a game nothing else matters.” CC said, his tone growing serious. Andy burst out laughing.

“Yeah right. If someone had made you food you would have completely forgotten the game.”

CC smiled. “Bitch I know, but food is different. Plus you know I’m a fat kid at heart.”
Jinxx laughed. “We all know that buddy. What we don’t know is how you’re still so fucking skinny.”

“It’s probably because he never fucking sits still.” I said, chuckling.

CC just grinned.

---

CC and Andy played a few more games before turning off the game console. Andy sat between Jinxx and myself on the couch and CC sat on the floor beside the half empty bowl of chips.

Jinxx, Jake, and Sandra were talking about something I had no interest in at all so I started zoning out a bit, focusing on Andy’s leg that was casually touching mine. CC suddenly slammed his hands on the coffee table in the middle of Jinxx’s sentence, causing us all to jump.

“The fuck, dude?” Jake asked, grabbing his chest.

“We. Are. Out. Of. Chips.” CC replied dramatically.

“So?” Andy asked, giggling a bit.

“So?! So?! I’m still starving man!” CC yelled, grabbing his stomach in a dramatic matter. He looked up at us when we didn’t say anything and slightly smirked. He grabbed his chest and started choking, before dramatically dying on the floor.

“So as I was saying-” Jinxx started, turning back to look at Sandra and Jake after a moment’s silence.

“Seriously guys? What if I had actually died?” CC said, cutting Sandra off again as he sat up.

I laughed. “The house would be a lot quieter.”

“Ha ha.” CC replied, mockingly. “Can we please go get something to eat? It’s nearly dinner time anyway.”

“Sure. Maybe we can go see a movie too?” Andy suggested.

“Sounds great bro!” CC said, grinning. He grabbed the empty chip bowl and dumped the few crumbs that were in there into his mouth.

I grinned and shook my head before getting up and stretching.

“Are we walking or…?” Sandra asked, also getting up from the couch.

“Well, I’m the only one with a car here and six people aren’t going to fit in it.” Andy replied.

“We can walk. No big deal.” I replied, walking over to the front door.

“Where are we going to eat?” I heard Sandra ask from behind me as the rest of my friends followed me to the door.

“Pizza!” I heard CC shout.

I chucked as I bent down the pull on my shoes.






A/N: WOW. That’s a shitty chapter. I guess it’s more of a filler? Idk. I was going to make it longer so that it actually had a point and developed the plot more… But then I got… Well. Yeah. My Tumblr readers know why. I’ll try and update again soon.

Like always, please let me know how I’m doing. Any feedback, positive or negative, is welcomed with open arms. Remember, loads of comments make me update faster because I start feeling guilty/more inspired so it helps me write faster.

I love you all.

See you next chapter.
xoxo