A couple minutes after my freak out session, Jayy knocks on my door and says, “Katie, open the door.”
“No,” I say back, a little more anger in my voice than intended.
“Open this door, now, or I’m coming in any way!” he demands, but I don’t make a move to let him in. I hear him sigh, then my door knob jingling. Ha! Fat fucking chance there, buddy. Then to my surprise, the door opens easily.
“What the hell?!” I demand.
Jayy looks annoyed and holds up a set of keys. Damn him. He must have one to my room. He sits on my bed, next to me, and I turn the other way, so I don’t have to look at him. He sighs, and then says, “You have to talk to him, Katie.”
“No. I don’t, Jayy,” I tell him.
“Yes, you do. Goddamn it! I don’t get you, Katie! What’s going on in that tiny little head of yours that you can’t take 10 minutes or so to fucking talk to him?” Jayy nearly shouts at me.
“You wouldn’t understand, or believe me, if I told you,” I say, hugging my Jack Skelton doll closer.
“I doubt that you could tell me anything that Dahvie hasn’t heard in his 28 years on this planet, or my 23 years,” Jayy says, rubbing my back soothingly.
I sigh, and say, “It’s one of those stories that should be on that show Beyond Belief, Jayy. You wouldn’t understand. You’d just tell me the same thing Ashley told me.”
“And how do you know that? You don’t know what I will or won’t say,” Jayy counters.
“Just trust me on this. Everyone I’ve ever told tells me the same thing, and that’s that it’s not possible,” I say.
“No. Tell me!” he growls at me.
Now I’m getting pissed, so I sit up, and say, “Fine! You want to know so fucking badly? Here it is! The truth is, every time I get close to someone, anyone, they end up hurt or killed! My older brother was kidnapped and murdered after my birth! My parents died because I wouldn’t shut the fuck up for 5 fucking seconds! They got hit by a drunk driver, because my ass wouldn’t stop crying! My mother’s last resort was to protect me! She threw her body over me, as the car collided with us! My dad didn’t see it in time because he was looking back at me, in the rearview mirror! I couldn’t stop crying because I was raped at a party, my dumb ass snuck out to! Now, I get too close to Dahvie, and he falls and busted his fucking head open! Now do you fucking get it?!”
Jayy’s silent for a long moment, taking in all that I just told him, and he says, “I can see where you’d think that-”
“But it’s not my fault?! Nothing ever is, apparently!” I shout, interrupting him.
“Fine. You want to know what I really think, kid?” he demands, getting in my face, “I think you need to be locked away for a few days, where someone who’s trained to help people, actually can. And I don’t mean like those whacked out nuns could, at that stupid orphanage I found your ass in!”
“Like a psych ward, then?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he says, huffing at me.
“Fine. They’re coming to take me away, ha-ha,” I murmur, as I stand up, and walk down stairs. I can tell he hasn’t followed me, so I shout up the stairs, “Are you going to take me, or does someone else need to!”
I hear an annoyed groan emerge from my bedroom, and he shouts back, “You’re not going!”
“The hell I ain’t,” I say under my breath, then walk into the living room, and say to Dahvie, “Let’s go for a little ride.”
“What for?” Dahvie asked.
“Jayy’s idea. Not mine,” I say.
Dahvie looks between me, and then looks at Ashley, and shrugs, gathering up his keys, phone, and wallet. As we pass Ashley, he says, “Sorry, man. We’ll be back soon.”
“It’s cool,” Ashley says, not bothering to look up at us, as we walk out of the living room.
Once in the car, Dahvie asked, “Where to?”
“Just drive. I’ll tell you where to go,” I say to him.
He nods, starts the car, and pulls out of the drive. As we come up to the four way stop, I say, “Turn right, here.”
He nods, and turns. I continue giving him directions, until he stops in the middle of the deserted road, and says, “You’re making me take you to the hospital. Why?”
“Like I said. Jayy’s idea. Not mine,” I tell him. He doesn’t make a move to start moving again, so I go to get out of the car, while saying, “Well, I’m sure I can walk the rest of the way. Thanks, Dahvie.”
“Oh, hell no. Why? What’s the point, Katie?” he asked, grabbing my arm, as I go to get out of the car, in his strong vice-like grip.
I look back at him, and try to pull my arm free, but it’s no use. He’s too strong. I sigh, and fall back in my seat, then say, “I’m obviously crazy. I don’t know why I even said yes to coming to live with you and Jayy. All I am in a nuisance.”
“No, you’re not. Katie, we love you. Unconditionally. Sure, you’re past effects who and how you are today, but we can get through this, without sending you to a mental ward,” Dahvie says, pulling me into his arms, “Please, just let us help you. If you need more help than we can give, then fine, but let us really try before going to the extreme.”
“By that time, you’ll be on tour,” I counter.
“You’re our sister. Let us take care of you. If we have to cancel a few shows to get you the proper help, then we will,” he says to me.
I sigh in defeat, and say, “Fine. Whatever. You’re going to do whatever the hell you want to, anyway.”
“Let’s get one thing straight, right now,” he says, pulling out of the hug, and looking me in the eye, “You’re our sister. Not our plaything. We’re not going to force you into anything, unless we really have to, alright?”
I nod, then shut my door. After a few moments, Dahvie releases me, and puts the car in Drive. He turns around, then heads back home.
Once back there, Jayy’s waiting on the front porch, and Ashley’s sitting there with him. At first glance you can tell Jayy regrets what he said to me earlier, and so do I. I’ve never really lost my cool like that in front of anyone, other than my parents.
I walk over to him, but he doesn’t see me. He’s got his head in his hands, and as I get closer, I can tell he’s crying. Damn it. I’m a horrible sister. I sigh, then hug him, and feel him jerk in my arms.
“Katie!” he gasp, “Katie, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sor-”
“No. I’m sorry. I’ve nothing but a straight out, pain in the ass to you guys since you adopted me. For that, I’m sorry,” I tell him, as I hug him tighter.
He pulls me close, and says, “You’ve been that, but I’m happy for that. I didn’t mean what I said earlier though. I want to help you through this, before we even consider locking you up, alright?”
I nod, and then pull away and turn to Ashley. He visibly tenses and I say, “Let’s go back inside. I want to talk to you.”
He nods, and opens the screen door. He then motions for me to go ahead of him, and slips in after me. We head into the living room, and sit across from each other, where I say, “I’m not going to make excuses. I’m going to be blunt though. I’m broken, Ashley. Whether there’s a chance to fix me, I’m not sure, but I do know that I can’t be with you until then. I can’t be with anyone, really, and I’m sorry for that.”
He takes my hand in his, and whispers, “Can at least try to change your mind? If not, then at the very least, let me try to help.”
I sigh, then say, “Wait for tour, before you do anything. I’ll listen then. To whatever you have to say. Promise.”
He nods, then says, “Alright, then. I’ll umm . . . I’ll see ya soon then,” and then he walks out.
I sigh, and head back to my bedroom. Once inside, I release the curtains and the canopy’s curtains, and get under the blanket. I lay there, thinking of what just happened, until I slowly pass out.