My Saviour.

It's been a week since Cam died and I'm still as depressed and heartbroken as I was when I found out. Actually, no. I've gotten worse as the days have went by. Depression has hit me hard, it feels like a train has hit me but then felt it wasn't enough and hit me another 5 fucking times. I still feel guilty because all of this is my fault. If I hadn't of left my note there Cam would be right here with me. But no, instead he's up in the clouds hating my fucking guts for what I did.

Andy knows how depressed I've been, he knows I've been crying myself to sleep every night, he knows I blame myself for it and he knows how hard it's all hit me.
All the other guys have picked up on it too. I haven't laugh or smiled around any of them, I haven't been making my usual smart ass comments. I know they are all worried about me. They haven't left me alone this whole week because they all fear I'm going to hurt myself again. Which in all honesty I haven't done..

Yet..

It's currently Sunday the 6th of December and I'm just laying in bed thinking about Cam.

'I wonder who kidnapped him when we were 13... Maybe I could find out, Maybe his suicide note says who it was. I still need to ask one of the guys to drive me down there so I can read it.
But if I find that motherfucker who took Cam I will make sure he ends up in jail. I have too.' I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard someone enter my room.

"Hey Morgan.." Andy said in the softest tone he could manage.
"Hi." I mumbled.
"So we're going out to lunch then into the city and you're coming. You'll be meeting Jinxx's wife, CC's girlfriend and Jake's girl there too. I know you've been wanting to meet them." He said trying to sound enthusiastic.
"Kay." I replied.
Andy sighed slightly and then gave me a sympathetic smile, I returned it by forcing a small onto my face. He left my room so I could change.
I got up from my comfy bed and padded across my room, over to my closet. I got out my Danisnotonfire and Amazing phil shirt, along with some skinnys and clean underwear. I then changed out of my pyjamas and into the clothes I choose out. Next I went into my half-bathroom and washed my face, hands and brushed my teeth. Once I finished washing I went back into my room and walked over to my vanity-desk thing. I plugged in my hair straighteners and left them on the desk to heat up. While I was waiting I brushed all the knots out in my hair. After my hair was knot free I straightened my newly dyed hair, which was now a bright purple with a few blue streaks going through it. After I finished straightening my hair I turned them off and started teasing away at my hair.
When I was satisfied with my hair I next did my makeup. Nothing special, eyeliner and some lipgloss. After that I went over to my set of draws and got out some wristbands, a pair of plugs, a belt and my Pierce The Veil iPhone case.
I slid the wrist bands onto my wrist, covering up my now scabbed over cuts. I put the plugs into my ears and wrapped the belt around my waist. I finally picked up my iPhone and snapped on the cover.
(Morgan's outfit:http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=97369400)

I was beyond nervous because I had never met the guy's girls before and I was scared they wouldn't like me or except me.. I mean. What if they saw my scars? What if they knew about Cam and knew it was all my fault?

'Morgan calm down.. Maybe it'll be okay. They will like you, there's nothing wrong with you.' That little voice kept on chanting in my head, making me feel a little less nervous.

Once I was all ready I realised it was freaking December and I didn't have a jacket because all of mine were in the wash. I guess I'll have to borrow one of someone.
I wandered out of my room and walked over to Ashley's door. I knocked on it lightly.
"Hey Ash? It's Morgan." I called quietly through the door.
"You can come in." I heard him say. I opened the door to see him sitting on the end of his bed looking over at me with a curious face.
"Do you have a hoodie I can borrow? All mine are in the wash.." I asked with a small voice.
"Sure." He stood up and started rummaging around in a chest of draws. He brought out a black zip-up hoodie and tossed it in my direction. I caught it and unfolded it to see the words 'OUTLAW' printed on the front.
"Thanks Ash." I forced a small smile onto my face and then left his room, closing the door behind me. I went back into my room to pick up my bag I had pre-packed. It had my wallet, keys, headphones, iPhone and some other things I might need inside. I picked it up with Ashley's hoodie still in my arms and then walked down the stairs to see CC, Jake and Jinxx sitting on the floor playing video games. Only Jinxx seemed to realise I had walked into the room.
"Hey Morgan." He chirped.
"Hey." I mumble, dumping my bag on the couch and tying Ash's hoodie around my waist.
"Are you alright?" Jinxx asked.
"No. Not at all. Not one bit in fact." I sighed.
Jinxx put down the controller and came over to me. He put a hand on my shoulder and gave a sympathetic look.
"It's not your fault." Jinxx whispered, while bringing me into a hug.
"It is Jinxx. If I wasn't so stupid, if I wasn't so arrogant he would be here. Right now. But instead he's dead because of me." I said into his chest.
Tears were threading to fall but I pushed them away and tried thinking about happier things. Sadly that wasn't working, but I wouldn't let myself cry. Not right now anyway.
"It's really not your fault. Stop thinking like that Morgan." He said while realising me from the hug.
I opened my mouth to reply but I was interrupted by CC and Jake who were yelling at the screen:
"DIE FUCKER! DIE!" CC screamed, causing me to flinch slightly.
"Can you two turn that off now, we need to meet the girls." Jinxx said sternly.
"Fine. To be honest that picture is right, you are like momma Jinxx aren't you?" Jake joked while turning off the console and TV. Everyone started laughing except me, I was just gazing down at the floor.
"Hey Morgan do you know where Ashley and Andy are?!" CC asked/yelled.
"Well Ash is in him room and Andy.. Is there." I said with a small voice while pointing to Andy who was standing in the door way.

He was wearing black skinnys with the same belt as me, a plain black shirt and his Prophet jacket. Infact all the guys were wearing things very similar things to that. Except they all had different shirts on and their jackets said different things on the back.

"Ashley is coming now.. He apparently had some 'hair problems'." Andy made air quotes around 'hair problems'.
I nodded my head and walked over to the front door which is where my beaten up black converse sat. I slipped my feet into them then laced them up. Once I had my shoes on I untied Ashley's hoodie from around my waist and put it on. I didn't bother zipping it up, It was just for hiding my scars from Sammi, Lauren and Ella. The bracelets did covered them up, but if they slid up or down a little then you could see all of my cuts. They didn't need to find out.. Well not right now anyway. I want to make somewhat of a good impression.

After I got on Ashley's hoodie I went back into the living room area. When I walked back in I had 5 pairs of eyes on me, watching my every move which made me feel really self-concious. I sighed lightly and picked up my bag the was still on the couch.
"Ready?" Andy raised an eyebrow over at me.
"Ready." I nodded. I put my bag over one shoulder as we all headed out the front door and over to the car.
About half way to the car Ashley had picked me up and ran over to the car. He set me in the back seat so he could have the front. We did this everytime we had to get in the car together. I would normally lock the doors and climb into the front. Ashley would then tickle me until I caved and sat in the back.
But today I just sat there starring off into space. Thinking about Cam, thinking about how much I want to see his face and how all this is my fault. I missed him so much it actually hurt.

I must of zoned out for a bit because when I snapped back into reality Ashley was in the back middle seat which was to my right and he was frowning slightly.
"You're really sad about Cam aren't you?" He looked down at me.
"If you lost the most important person in your life and it was all your fault wouldn't you be a tad sad too? I can't get him out of my head." I murmured just as the other guys were getting into the car. Ash put his arm around my shoulders, trying to make me feel a little better. It kinda did..

Andy sat next to Ashley, CC was sat right at the back (We were taking the van/people carrier so there were 9 seats in this car), Jake was in the passenger seat and Jinxx was driving. I was sat next to Ash, which I didn't mind. We were both pretty close now and it was nice. It felt like I had someone to trust other than Andy.
"Is she okay?" I heard Andy whisper to Ashley as I was starring at the clouds out the window.
"Not at all man, she said she can't get Cam out of her head.." He whispered back, trying to be quiet so I couldn't hear them. I could of course.
"Maybe the girls can try and cheer her up." Andy mumbled while looking at me.
"Hopefully.." Ashley sighed.

The rest of the journey was in silence. The guys would occasionally make small talk with each other but that's as far as conversation went.
When we got to the mall (which is where we were going to meet up with the guys girlfriends before we go to lunch.) we all piled out of the car and walked into the building.
"Right. The girls said they are on their way, Ella can't come right now because she has a shoot. She'll be meeting us at the restaurant."Jake said.
"Alright, so I guess we could just wander around while we wait?" Ashley suggested.
"Sounds like a plan. Where should we go first?" Jinxx asked.
"HOTTOPIC." CC yelled causing us to get some stares for other people.
"Let's go then."

Andy took my hand and we all walked to Hot Topic together, having our own conversations with each other. Me and Andy talked about touring, he said they might be doing Warped this summer. Andy also mentioned that he really wanted me to preform on stage one day, like help him out with a song or something. I told him I would think about it, even though there wasn't much to think about.. There was no way I'm going to preform in front of a bunch of people.

When we got to HotTopic everyone spread out, I stuck with Andy because I didn't really want to buy anything. I was keeping all the money I had to buy the guys a Christmas present. I had to find some way of saying thank you to them all..
Andy got a new Batman belt, Ashley got some eyeliner, CC got a bunch of shit, Jake and Jinxx didn't get anything. After Hottopic we all decided to sit down and get a Starbucks. Everyone ordered coffee except me and CC. CC got one of them chocolate ices while I opted for a lemonade.
You know how they put your name on the cups? Well they spelt my fucking name wrong. What person is called 'Mrogn'?

We were all sitting at the tables outside, sipping at our drinks and talking. The guys were mainly the ones talking, I was sitting back day dreaming about Cam and what he might of looked like now.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when the door to Starbucks opened and 2 people came out with coffees in their hands. I knew who they were. I put my head down on the table hoping that they wouldn't notice me. But with my luck they did.
They saw me and smirked to one another. They both came walking over to our table, but had their backs to me.

They were Shannon and her boyfriend.

The guys didn't notice them what so ever. Not until Shannon said really loudly:
"Have you ever heard of that FAGGOT Morgan? Did you know she has FAGGOT family who wear make up and whine into a microphone."
All the guys looked at me, I shook my head and fixed my gaze on the floor.
"Yeah. I think she and all of them faggots should kill themselves. Then Morgan can join her ugly ass mother in hell." Shannon's boyfriend added.
Andy was about to stand up and most likely beat his face in. But I grabbed onto his shoulder telling him not to do anything.
"Please don't." I whispered.
"Bu-"
"Don't. Andy." I said pretty harshly. He nodded his head and continued listening to them.
"She's such a fat cow and dresses like a complete slut!" Shannon exclaimed.
"We should really pound her face in." Her boyfriend sneered.
I felt a cup above my head and I knew what was coming next but I wasn't going to let it happen. No way was I going to let them embarrass me like that. I lifted my arm above my head and batted the cup away.
Turns out the cup was filled with coffee.. And I hit it away... In Shannon's direction.. it went all over her.
"Whoops." I put a finger to my lip in a sarcastic manner.

The guys were trying their best to hold in their laughter but they weren't too good at that. I really couldn't hold it in either.
We sat there laughing for about a minute until Shannon ran away screaming and crying over her outfit being ruined. When Shannon ran off crying her boyfriend pulled on my hair very hard, demanding me to stand up. I followed his order and stood up.
He then slapped me across the face, hard enough to make my head jerk to the right and to make a really loud sound. That would leave a nice bruise. I felt a tear escape my eye but he's not going to win this fight. There's no way he's going to win. I can't let that happen..
I saw all the guys standing up and I knew what they wanted to do. But I was going to do that for them instead...

I grabbed the arm that was pulling on my hair and I twisted it around Shannon's boyfriend's back. Not too hard, but hard enough to make him wince.
"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME LIKE THAT." I screamed into in his face as I twisted his arm more.
"I DON'T THINK YOU GOT THE MESSAGE LAST TIME. I DO NOT TAKE ANYONE'S SHIT. SO YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION." I yelled twisting his arm more and more.
"IF YOU TALK ABOUT THOSE FIVE PEOPLE EVER AGAIN OR IF YOU TOUCH ONE OF THEM YOU WILL BE WAKING UP IN HOSPITAL."
I could see tears starting to build into his eyes.
"IF YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER LIKE THAT AGAIN THEN I WOULD WISH FOR A COFFIN FOR CHRISTMAS BUDDY."
I continued twisting his arm around his back and I could see he was in complete pain.
"IF YOU FUCKING GO AROUND MAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES MISERABLE THEN YOU HAVE TO GET PAST ME. YOU BETTER MAKE THIS THE LAST TIME I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THIS BECAUSE I WILL GET TICKED OFF.." I stopped twisting his arm because I would end up braking the bone if I haven't already. I leaned over to his ear and harshly whispered.
"And trust me. I'm not a fun person to tick off. I think you've already figured that out."
I was going to let go but Andy had walked behind him with my lemonade and tipped it over Shannon's boyfriend's head. He shuddered from the ice that was now inside his shirt but then cried in pain from me holding his arm back.
"And if you ever hurt, touch or talk to Morgan ever again. You will tick ME off and I have a whole fucking army of people who will kick your ass." Andy threatened.
"OKAY OKAY I'M SORRY." He cried.
I let go off his arm and he ran right away. I smirked in his direction then I looked up at all the guys who were grinning like an idiots, they all gave me high fives.
"Jesus Christ kid. You're amazing!" Ashley exclaimed.
"I agree." Jinxx laughed.
"That dude was terrified." Jake pointed out.
"Do you guys know who he is?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Uh no.. Should we?" Jinxx said.
"That was Shannon's boyfriend! The one who broke my nose." I said gesturing to my nose.
"Well at least now he's fucking terrified of you now!" CC yelled.
"True." I smiled.

But my smile went away when I noticed 2 other girls. One beside CC and the other beside Jinxx.

Oh shit..
So much for a good first impression..

Notes

That was a loooong chapter for you guys.
I would split it up a little but I couldn't find a good place to end it so I just left it as a whole one.

Not too much drama.
Yet.

ALOT of things will happen in this story soon. I've thought it all through and I'm pretty positive I know where it's going so I think it will be easier to write a new chapter:)

OH AND ANDY AND JULIET ARE NOT DATING IN THIS STORY...
Something will happen between them though(;

Hope you enjoyed my long ass chapter.
Love you guys.
Thank you so much for 13,000 views and almost 100 subscribers. Couldn't thank you all more<3

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OH AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS ON THE TOP OF THE POPULAR PAGE AT ONE POINT THAT WAS LIKE FUCKING HUGE THANK YOU THANK YOU.

(;
Never Give In, Never Back Down and We'll Brave This Storm.
xxx
~FlareOfTheDevil~