Victoria POV

Austin Texas was today. Texas had bad memories for me. Especially Austin. Austin Texas was where my previous boyfriend was from. He had brought me here on the spring break we broke up, or when I realized he never really knew me at all. When I finally saw what guys like him were like. Last night I had fallen asleep in Andy's bunk, he was the best cuddle buddy. I wake up still in Andy's bunk with him gone. I sigh and stretch. Bunks aren't the best thing to sleep on, but it beats the van any day. We are still driving and I get out of the bunk and walk to the seating area. Only Andy was up. I rub my eyes and sit on the chair. He looks up from his coffee and smiles at me. I smile back sleepy and rest my hand in my hand.

“Got any more of that?” I nod toward the cup of coffee in his hands.

He stands up and pours a cup and hands it to me. “It's not that great.” Andy laughs.

I take a sip and choke on it slightly. “I see what you mean.” I try to swallow the coffee.

Andy just laughs and sits back down on the couch. I toy with the cup in my hands wanting to have caffeine in my system but not wanting to drink this coffee. I hear a snore emit from the bunks.

“What time is it?” I ask.

Andy picks up his phone, “ten thirty.”

“I'm surprised you're up before me.” I smirk.

“Yeah, I got a call from someone.” He looks down at his phone again and frowns.

“I'm guessing it's not from your mom?” I smirk again feeling as if I had crossed some sort of line when he doesn't even glance up at me. “I...I'm sorry, I didn't...”

“No, it's fine, it was just an old memory.” He throws his phone on the couch.

“Anything you want to talk about?” I ask.

“Not really,” he gives me a half smile then places his cup on the counter.

Way to make things awkward, Vic. I sigh and place my own cup on the counter. “So, yesterday...” I try to say when he cuts me off.

“It was nothing, just needed to let off some steam.”

“Who? You, or Ben?”

He hesitates before responding. “You should ask him that.”

“But I'm asking you.” I smile.

“Okay look, Ben is head over heals in love with you. And I don't want to seem like a dick but I think that I shouldn't get involved in whatever you guys have.”

“Don't say that after that kiss. Don't tell me that he loves me when he won't do anything to keep us together. You want to know something, if he loved me he would let me be with who I want! He wouldn't attack you and tell yo to back off! What if I loved you, huh?! 'Cause I think I do!” I cover my mouth not realizing what had just come out. He looks to me shocked at what I had just said too. “I...I'm sorry, I didn't...that slipped out I didn't know what I was saying.” I try to cover it up but it's too late.

It had come out and I will never be able to take it back. He had just told me that he didn't want to be with me basically and I told him that I loved him and I don't even think I do. Do I? Is that why I said it? Was my own brain trying to tell me something? Andy's stare was still blank. His eyes fixed on mine. I'm not able to get anymore words out other than 'I'm sorry' I keep whispering it to either him or myself.

“Uh, don't be sorry.” He says looking away from me and to the wall beside me.

I am still covering my mouth. I stand up and go and hide in my bunk needing to wrap my head around what I think I feel and what my brain is trying to tell me. I bury my head in my pillow and try to think. My head was all over the place. From my first date ever with my cousins friend when I was ten, to what stage I was going to be on for our first Warped Tour. I hear sleepy rock stars start to wake up and greet the already awake Andy. They all ask what Andy was worried about and I hear Andy respond with 'nothing' and goes back to being his normal childish self. While on a moving bus there was no way for a shower so I'm not able to let my worries be washed out by the warm water the suds. Instead I dig out my mirror that I buried in the pillow and start to work on my makeup. Ugh, I told Andy I loved him while looking like this? I put my hair in a messy bun and lean against the wall of the bunk and check my phone to see that I have three new messages. Two from Lilly, and one from Andy. The ones from Lilly were just asking if I was okay and were sent last night. The one from Andy had been sent only a few minutes ago.

I'm sorry I didn't say anything back. Please come out and talk to me?

I text back even though he was just a few feet away. Not while there are four other nosy rock stars that will spill their gut to the next person that asks about anything.

By the lack of another text I assume that he got the message and will wait until we can talk in private about what I had just told him. I struggle to put on clean clothes in the bunk with the curtain closed hitting my head several times in the process. I finally succeed. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=99157203

I walk into the seating area like nothing ever happened. I plop on the couch next to a tired looking Jake and Ashley. “You guys look like you could use some good coffee.” I smirk to them.

Ashley looks to me, “how 'bout some Starbucks?!” He shouts to the driver.

“Sure thing,” he shouts back making a sharp turn.

Andy and I could do some talking in their too, if my band wasn't going to keep asking if I was okay. The bus comes to a stop and Andy offers to get everyone's coffee. They all agree and I offer to go with him.

“What? I like my coffee a certain way.” I justify when I get looks from all of them.

“Sure you do.” Ashley winks to us.

Andy looks away and gets off the bus. I follow and see that our van was pulling into the drive thru. I sigh with relief and enter the building after Andy. We order all the coffee and sit to wait for our order. Andy folds his hands on top of the table and fiddles with his thumbs. I sit back and mess with the hem of my shirt.

“So...” I start to say when Andy looks to me while still having his hands folded.

“Look, I'm sorry I couldn't say anything back. I wanted to.”

“It's totally okay, I understand. I didn't even know what I was saying.”

“Well that's a shame...” he says nervously. He takes a deep breath, “what if I was okay with it?”

“You're not saying that you...” I really hope he wasn't, I had a hard time with other people telling me they loved me just to make me feel better.

“No, but I'm saying that I wouldn't care if you did.” He puts his hand under my chin. “I think I made it clear that I have a...huge thing for you.”

“What about the thing with Ben?” I ask feeling my heart speed up.

“I never said I 'wanted' to let you be. I said 'think.'” He smirks then gently brushes his lips with mine.

I can feel the scab that had formed on his lip from Ben. I feel my breathing speed up and he smiles. “I don't think I will ever get used to kissing Andy Biersack.” I smirk.

“Good,” he says before kissing me again.

“Denis Westower!” The lady serving the coffee shouted.

“Really? You still got that going?” I ask.

“Yes! Yes I do!” He says sticking his nose in the air and picks up the five cups of coffee he ordered.

“Vic!” The lady shouted again then placed my coffee on the counter.

I pick it up and walk out with Andy. I am greeted with a rolled down window from our van and Lilly sipping her coffee with a smirk on her face.

“Good night last night?” She asks.

I walk over to the rolled down window, “what makes you think that?” I ask.

“Your smile,” she smirks.

I shake my head. Jason was in the passenger seat drinking his own coffee barley awake. Darin and Ben are in the back seat cuddling against each other. "Aww how cute!" I squeal pulling out my phone to take a picture.
Once I have the one I want I give Lilly a hug and run back on the BVB bus. I immediately put the picture on Instagram once seated on the couch and laugh already having several likes in just seconds.
“So, Andy...get lucky last night while the damsel was in distress?” Ashley smirks.

“Ugh, you're such a...”

“Guy?” Ashley finishes for me.

“Yeah, lets go with that.” I say taking a sip of my White Moca Late.

“But...did you?” Jake asks eying Andy.

He chuckles, “no, unlike some guys,” he glances to Ashley, “I comfort with hugs, not my dick.”

Every bursts out laughing including me, forcing me to spit out some of my drink. “I bet she wouldn't mind that though.” Jinxx teases immediately taking a drink of his coffee.

“Have you asked her out yet? Or are you just kissing and leaving?” Jake asks.

This was a conversation I really didn't want to be here for. I could feel that I was blushing like crazy. I try to hid my face behind my cup and I see Andy glance to me out of the corner of my eye. I glance back and give him a half smile.

“Well no...” Andy starts before his band mates chew him up for it.

“Are you kidding she's gorgeous!” “I would fuck in a heart beat!” How could you only live with just kissing her?!” Are some of the things I barley hear.

I am laughing too hard to notice that Andy had out his arm around me. “Well, Paris, what do you say? Want to be my girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I would like that.” I smile and lower my cup just enough for Andy to brush his lips against my cheek.

Everyone cheers, “why are you so loud so early?” CC grumbled plopping onto the floor.

“They're finally going out.” Ashley filled him in.

“What?! And I missed it?!” He yelled.

“Yeah, too bad.” I smirk.

“No!” He yells hitting the floor of the bus.

“It's okay, we got you coffee to make up for it.” I say handing him his coffee.

“Oh, yessss.” He whispers.

I hear my phone buzz on my lap and I see it is a call from Ben. I sigh, stand up and walk to the back where the bunks are. “Hello?” I ask like I hadn't just seen the caller ID.

“Hey, it's Ben, um, I just wanted to say I'm sorry.” He says with whispering voices around him. Probably everyone telling him to apologize.

“Okay, one, I'm not forgive you for acting out like that, second, I don't want an apology over the phone. I want to talk to you, I do, I want to hear your story, but not over the phone.” I say hearing the guys in the seating area try to talk but I know someone was designated to eavesdrop. Much what I would do.
“Uh, okay, when do you want to talk?”
“On a day we have off,” I say hanging up after that.

I walk back to the couch and retrieve looks from the band. “We weren't eavesdropping!” CC yells.

“Thanks, CC,” I giggle.

“You're an awful liar, you know that?” Jake asks.

CC looks down and downs the rest of his coffee. “I'm gonna hang in my bunk today.” I say standing back up and going to my bunk.

I need some alone time, not much of what I was getting lately. I close the curtain and lay down pulling my out bun. Red wavy strands find their way to the front of my face and irritate my nose forcing me to let out a soft sneeze. I rub my nose and turn to face the wall of the bunk. I get a text message and see it's from Andy.

It'll get better.

I hope so.