I sat on my window sill, looking out over the golden fields. I looked down at the guitar in my lap, and strummed it. I smiled, writing down a new note in my little black book. The front said 'Diary' but I had written all of my songs in there, all of them. I smiled as I saw my boyfriend Dan walking over the hill and towards the house. I put my guitar back on it's stand, and shoved my book underneath a floorboard which was lose. I always kept it there, to hide it from my parents, my brother David, and his horrible girlfriend Annabell. I went downstairs, and opened the door, letting Dan in. "Hey sweetheart." He said, leaning down to kiss me. He smelt of toothpaste and fresh cologne, the very small I had fallen in love with from the start. "Hey Dan." I said, hugging him.

"Missed you." He said, and I giggled, looking up at him. "Dan it's only been a day."
"Well it felt like forever to me." He said, kissing my lightly on the cheek. I smiled and we walked back into the house. We sat down on the sofa, and switched on the TV. "Hello Dan." My dad said, coming in and sitting down on the chair near us. It was against God's view for an unmarried couple to be alone in a room together, so every time Dan was around there was always someone else in the room. I didn't mind thought. If I was with him, I was happy, that was the main thing. We were all Catholic, and we had been brought up in a Catholic household, with God by our side. "Hello Mr Underwood." Dan said, and my dad smiled at him.

They got into a deep conversation about Dan's work as a mechanic, and I sat there, staring into space. It was fine with dad there but he did seem to take over the conversation a bit, making it impossible for me to join. A woman's place was in the home, not at work, so I had no Idea what they were actually talking about. "Darling?"
"Yeah?" I said, looking at Dan. "Go and make me a cup of tea?" He asked, and I nodded, getting up and making him some tea. I gave it him and he took it, taking a big gulp. "Well anyway, I best be off, I need to get back to work." He said, downing the rest and passing me the empty mug. "Bye sweetie." he said, kissing me lightly before leaving. I smiled at my dad, and sighed. "I'm going to pop to the shops dad, I'll see you later. Do you need anything?" I asked, and he nodded. "Can you get me some more screws please from the hardware store?" HE said, and I nodded, grabbing some money from my bag, and heading out.


I walked a few miles, until I came to a row of shops. I looked to my left and my right, making sure there was no one there, and ran into the tattoo parlour that was on the end. "Babe!"
"Aunt Kat." I said, walking to the back of the shop, and hugging her. Aunt Kat was as dad called her 'the misfit against God.' She was covered in Tattoo's and had a dazzling smile. She left home at the age of 18, and went towards what she always wanted to do. Her parents didn't agree and disowned her. I had been forbidden to ever see her, but since I met her she was my hero, the person I went to with all my problems, the person I could be free with. "How ya been then darling?" She asked, lighting up a cigarette. "I'm good, my music's coming along good, and everything's going well."
"Have you shown anyone else the music?" She asked and I shook my head. "You really should, you such a good musician. My type actually." She said, as the door chimed.

In walked two men, old hilly billy type's. "Hi were here for the 2, 30 appointment." The one said, and she nodded, passing them onto Antony, one of the workers there. "Well that would make my dad love the music then." I said and she laughed, stubbing out her cigarette in an ash tray. "Well fuck him. Your music is amazing, and anyone would pay good money to watch you perform. You are old enough to make your own choice's I think." she said, looking at me. "Well, try telling him that. Anyway, I have no where else to go, and even then I'd have no way of seeing Dan."
"I don't see what you see in him. All I see is lies and hate."
"Don't say that Aunt Kat. He's lovely if you just talked to him."
"MMM. There's just something about him that I don't like, I just can't put my finger on it." she said, biting her lip. I sighed, and looked at the clock. "Anyway I better go. Dad wants some more screws and he'll be wondering where I am." I said, standing back up.

She nodded and smiled at me. "Alright love, and think about what I said about the music." She said, hugging me. I nodded and smiled at her. "I will. Thank you." I said, and she smiled. "Same time tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." I said, leaving the shop. I got Dad his screws and went home, giving them him. "Thanks sweetie. Now go upstairs and say prayer." he said, and I nodded, racing upstairs and leaning against the bed. I placed my hands together, and closed my eyes. "Dear God, I know I might sound selfish to anyone hearing this, but I'm really hoping that you will understand me. I...I have everything I could ask for, a loving boyfriend, family, everything, but I just want one more thing, just one, and I would give up everything for it. I want to be free. To go out when I want to, to dye my hair wild colours, to wear high heels with shorts. I just want to be my own person for once, pursue music, make something of myself. Now I know this is not the American dream most people would want, but it's what I want. Please God, if you really love us all like you say, would you still love me if I was like my Aunt Kat? If I was my own person? Please tell me this, please, I just want to be free... Amen."

I opened my eyes, and sighed. I got out my guitar and begun to quietly play. I wondered about Aunt Kat, and what she meant by what she said. I sighed, and put my guitar back down, and lay back, looking up at the while ceiling above me.

Notes

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter :) Comment for a shout out :)