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Please tell me what we have is real

An Illusion You Hide Behind

Ashley Purdy’s Point of View

I sat on the couch in my living room and thought about my first day at school. It wasn’t too bad because no one actually tried to talk to me and no one really made fun of me. I could stand the laughter. The teachers seemed quite indifferent to my appearance and other students just avoided me, not searching for trouble. Yet. I sighed. I knew that was still to come when they got used to me being there. Bad jokes, insults, fights. For now I could enjoy the calm before the storm.
My thoughts wandered to a particular group of kids. Andy, Jinxx, Jake and CC. Andy had annoyed the living shit out of me from the first second. Why did he want to talk to me so badly? Why did he think that I needed friends? I didn’t. I’ve always been better off without anyone else. A memory crossed my mind.

“What the actual fuck, man? I thought we were friends.” I say and look at Jason, my best friend.
“Yeah. YOU thought we were friends. But we’re not. Got it?” he growls and shoves me hard so I fall to the ground. I stare up at him in total disbelief. Maria stands next to him, laughing her ass off.
“Kick him, Jason. He deserves it. Fucking emo.” she encourages him.

I ran a hand over my face. I had really thought they were my friends. But then they had turned their backs on me, from one day to another. They had started hanging with the “cool” kids and began to humiliate me, just like the rest of the school did. Before all that we would be hanging out together, Jason, Maria, Corey and me. I didn’t even know what changed their minds but suddenly it had all gone wrong. It always went wrong, no matter what I did or didn’t do. My friends, my parents, my relatives. My good grades were the only thing I’ve kept all these years. I just had a good understanding for such stuff. But it didn’t matter. I was all alone and I didn’t plan on changing that. If I would become friends with Andy and the others they would only stab me in the back. Just like my old friends had. I couldn’t risk getting disappointed again.
The only one of them who didn’t try to get me to talk was Jake. He sat next to me in English and kept quiet; he had just nodded at me when I had been introduced and was told to sit down next to him. This was a behavior I could deal with. The last of the group, CC, was weird. He seemed totally hyperactive and also had tried to get me to talk and be friends with him. He was even more annoying than Andy. We had Spanish together, but Mrs. Lopez wanted the whole class to keep quiet during her lessons and that even worked. I guess she gave detention pretty fast if someone would dare to disobey. CC didn’t seem to mind much though, all the time he had been grinning at me like an idiot and at the end of the lesson he had wanted to talk and show me to the next classroom. I had kind of given him the same speech as Andy and Jinxx got from me.

I hated school already and that had only been the first day of the torture that was still to come. Even though the other students just laughed silently at me for now when I passed them, I knew there was more to come. Someone would start to shove or to trip me up and then their bullying would increase. The sad thing about all of this was that I knew that no teacher would help. They thought I was a freak and that their help would do no good anyway. They would just let them do whatever they wanted to do with me. Tears sprung to my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. Crying was no use. I knew this would happen sooner or later and until that day I could at least try and enjoy the calm that was so deceiving.

I sighed and got up with the intention to make myself something for dinner. Confusion was probably written all over my face as I opened the fridge and found nothing inside. Damn, I needed to get some groceries, otherwise I’d just starve.
“Fuck that shit” I mumbled silently to myself, closing the empty fridge, and went to grab my phone. I dialed the number of the nearest pizza place and just ordered something for me. Grocery shopping was not on my list for today. I was too annoyed from school and didn’t want to put on my shoes again just to run aimlessly through the supermarket in search for something to eat. Good thing I knew myself that well.
As I waited for my pizza I skipped through the television. There wasn’t much on, so I settled with Batman. I didn’t see that movie in a while. About ten minutes later the doll bell rang. I walked out of my flat and opened the front door to the building. I lived on the first floor, so I could just as well open the front door instead of using that weird door opener. I always found it creepy.
The guy handed me my pizza and I gave him the money. Just as I wanted to turn around and go back into my flat, I heard some yell my name quite excitedly. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and looked at Andy who was standing across the street. He jogged the little distance between what I guessed was his apartment complex, and mine.
“Hey! I didn’t know you live so close!” he smiled at me. I grimaced and willed him away in my thoughts.
“Yeah…” I trailed off and gave him an annoyed look that was supposed to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone. He didn’t though. He seemed to be good at ignoring me.
“You’re watching Batman too? Man, I love those movies! I’m totally obsessed with Batman!” his grin got even wider as he heard what was on in my living room. I sighed heavily and looked into his eyes. They were shining with excitement.
“You could just leave so I can enjoy my evening.” I said coolly. He raised an eyebrow.
“Seriously! Pizza and Batman all alone, that’s boring!” he exclaimed. I just shrugged.
“Guess that makes me a boring person…” I wanted to tell him to fuck off right after that but he interrupted me.
“Well, we could watch Batman together! I can just text my parents…”
“No! For fuck’s sake! Don’t you get that I don’t need or want your company?” I shouted desperately. Why couldn’t he just go?
“But you can’t be like all on your own and stuff!” Andy said sheepishly, probably not expecting my little outburst.
“I can and I will!” and with that I turned around and walked to my flat. Awesome, my pizza would be cold by now.
“Ashley?” Andy asked silently, apparently begging for my attention. I rolled my eyes and turned around, just as I was standing right in front of my door.
“What?” I said and looked at him. Big mistake.
“Please?” Andy said and gave me the most adorable puppy eyes ever, pouting a little. Damn. I knew that I should just turn around and leave him standing there. But he looked too cute. I sighed, not really knowing what I was doing.
“Fine” I said annoyed and went into my flat, leaving the door open for him.
“Yay!” he yelled and ran after me. What the fuck had I been thinking?


Andrew Biersack’s Point of View

“Yay!”, I yelled and practically ran after him, closing his door behind me. My irresistible “Andy-Pout”, as my friends called it, always worked. I quickly texted my parents that I watched Batman at a friend’s right across the street.
As I entered the flat, I found myself in a tiny entrance hall, the door to my left leading into the kitchen, the one to my right to a small bathroom and across from me was the living room, with another door which, I guessed, led to his bedroom. It was all very small and not very comfortable with little furniture and decoration, just things that were absolutely necessary. Ashley sat on the sofa, his pizza box in his lap and picked up a slice, eyeing it before taking a bite. I grinned a little when I stepped into the living room. He looked really cute with that doubtful look on his face. In the living room I saw a poster of Mötley Crüe and a shelf with CDs and DVDs. No personal things like pictures and so on. Either he didn’t finish unpacking or his life wasn’t so great. I guessed the second.
I took a seat next to him and he flinched a bit, like he forgot that I was there with him.
“Sorry” I whispered. I really was somehow. Here I was, sitting next to him in his living room, and he didn’t even want me here. I felt a bit bad but I just couldn’t help but think about the fact that he was extremely fuckable and that I wanted him. Somehow I had to get him to be friends with me and open up, so I could seduce him, right? Right.
“I just forgot you’re here…” he trailed off and stared at the TV. I could tell that he just tried to ignore me.
“Ash?” I asked, giving him a nickname already. Ashley was just way too long. He cringed at that and looked at me with hate in his eyes.
“Don’t you ever call me that again” he growled angrily. Wow, I totally didn’t expect that. Him being annoyed, ok. But really angry… He relaxed immediately, sighed and pushed a hand through his silky black hair.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.” he apologized and hesitantly looked at me. At first I had thought that was another trick to get rid of me, but obviously there was more to it.
“Erm… it’s ok?” I more asked than said. I was starting to worry about him. Stick to the plan, Biersack. Just a fuck. I reminded myself.
He smiled shyly at me and offered me a slice of his pizza. I smiled back at him and took the slice, thanking him before taking a bite.
“So… what did you want to say?” Ashley asked and looked at me… curiously? Maybe he did want to be friends with me after all?
“Oh, yeah… I know it’s none of my business, but…” I trailed off, not knowing how to ask him without him snapping again. He raised an eyebrow.
“But?” he inquired. He looked slightly annoyed again, probably knowing where this was going.
“Well, I was just wondering… there aren’t any pictures here of family and friends and normally people want to keep their memories and erm…” I interrupted myself. I knew I was speaking way too fast because I was actually scared to ask. What the fuck, I was never scared to ask anything and rambling like that wasn’t me either. I bit my lower lip as I waited for his reply. He seemed to consider whether he could let me into his personal space for a bit or whether he would better chuck me out.
“You’re right. It’s none of your business” he said after a few moments of silence and turned his attention back to Batman. I nodded and bit my lip again, as something came to my mind.
“Can I ask one more thing?” I silently said, looking at him. He rolled his eyes but nodded.
“Where are your parents?” It had just occurred to me that they weren’t here and that there was only one bedroom. I saw that Ashley was close to tears and considered hugging him for a second.
“I live on my own. I’m 18 already.” was all he said before fixing his gaze on the TV once more. Suddenly I felt sad for him. He didn’t seem to have anybody and totally isolated himself. I wondered what he had gone through in his life. I contemplated again, whether or not I should just hug him. I decided against it. I’d rather stay here than being chucked out and throwing away all my chances to fuck him.
Sighing, I stole myself another slice of pizza and got cozy on his sofa. Ashley seemed to grin a little, though I wasn’t too sure about that. It had gotten darker outside and he didn’t turn on the lights, so we were covered in a semi-darkness, the only light shining from the TV. It all seemed surreal somehow. I also looked back at the TV. Might as well enjoy some Batman.

Notes

Hope you like this so far =) Let me know what you think!

Comments

I demand a fucking update!!!!! This is way toooo good for you to stop here man! I love this story so much!!! Dude please! You're killing me here smalls!!!

DarkQueen DarkQueen
6/28/16

I'm having withdrawals.

Okay, I just read over this entire story again. Absoulely amazing the 3rd time around. (:

I demand an update!

Im loving the story but is this the end?

beccalilly beccalilly
1/4/15