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Ronnie Cant Swag

I Ain't Got Swag (And I Try Too Hard)

Things were going the way they were supposed to on set of Falling In Reverse's newest video. Everyone was having a fairly good time and life was good. But Ronnie still insisted on his 'swag' of pants being too low. Somehow, he had made a compromise with the director which meant he could still swag but only if he wore skinnies. In the director's words, if he wore baggy pants like most of the 'swaggers' did then Falling In Reverse wouldn't look like the rock band they were supposed to be, it would look like a crappy rap band full of skinny white boys who can't rap. I'm not being racist here just writing it like that for humors sake

but what the director wasn't counting on was Ronnie strolling in there with his pants so low that if he so much as twitched the wrong way they'd go sliding right off! The director heaved a sigh, grateful at least that Radke had the decency to make sure that his junk was covered even if just barely. However, the director was not pleased to see that the greater part of the singer's arse was bare to the world. Taking him aside, the director said, "Ronnie, I know we agreed on this swag thing of yours, but could you at least pull up your pants in the back?"

"Why the hell should I?" Ronnie said, uncaring.

"because!" the director spluttered. Wasn't it obvious to the singer why? Probably not since all he got in repsonse was a raised eyebrow. In an attempt to clarify, he said, "Because half your ass is out of your pants on display to the whole world!"

"And remind me why I should give a fuck?"

The director gave a sigh, realizing that it was useless to argue with the singer, who wouldn't learn until shit happened, so he said, "whatever, just mark my words, your pants are going to fall off when we're filming. Maybe I'll leave that shot in there for all your fangirls."

"Yeah right." Ronnie said walking away. Like that would ever happen. It did. During the group therapy scene where Ronnie was supposed to dance around singing about who he was and that he was an addict and raised on Black Sabbath and whatnot, the unthinkable (at least for Ronnie) happened. Just like the director predicted, Ronnie's overly low pants fell to somewhere around his ankles, leaving him just in his tighty whiteys. The only thing his director could say through the peals of laughter that had him nearly doubled over was "I told ya so!"

3 weeks later

The tour manager for Black Veil Brides was currently reviewing the video, a somewhat sheepish Andy in front of him. “Andy, remind me again why we want this guy to tour with us?”

“Um... Because he's a good singer?” Andy offered. At the moment, he looked like he was going to run out the door... Or hide behind the nearest potted plant. “But do you really want to be on stage with a guy whose pants fall off on video?”

“Hey, that might actually be useful!”


“Fangirls.” Andy said, looking mightily proud of himself.



The glare that the tour manager sent Andy's way was enough to really send him running for the cover of the nearest potted plant.


Added "Get back in the silverware drawer!" to my vocab. And if this story continued only in vocab chapters I'd still be pretty happy. Thank you for this story

Also, the commenter before me gets mad swiggity swag points for giving me the term 'Oh my Jinxx'.

onefinalfightdoe onefinalfightdoe

Oh my Jinxx, please update, this is the funniest thing ever! I don't know how many times I laughed till I cried while reading this!


Why thank you :)
This is awesome.
Holy shit I dont think I have ever laughed this hard ever!!!
Pinja. Pinja.