Nobody's Hero

"I can't do it, Andy. And i'm not doing it. I'm not going in there," I said. Andy was trying to convince me to go back to the group therapy office. He felt that even though I'm getting better, it would be good to share my story with other people. "Why?"

"I told you why, Addie. It will make you better, and other people know that things really do get better." He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, leading me to the psychiatric ward. We made it to the rehabillitation door, and that's where Andy was going to leave me to go in by myself.

"Too many bad memories in this hospital," I whispered.

"I'll see you in a couple hours. Make this worth it." He kissed the top of my head and left to go sit in the waiting room. I looked at the door. I remember my very first day coming here. I opened it carefully and walked up to the sign in desk. I filled in what I had to and made my way to the stairs.

Slowly, I walked up them, nearing the door. I rang the bell and waited. I waited to see Andrea on the other side of the glass. And soon enough, I saw her. She looked shocked to see me. "Addisan!" she perched when she saw me. "Long time, no see. I expect you have a lot to talk about?" I nodded skeptically. "Don't worry, all the people you met the last time are still here. A couple new people, but that's it."

I sat at one of the two tables. There was no one here, considering I was twenty minutes early. But, before I knew it, people were piling in. "Hey is anyone sitt-Addie?" a voice spoke, I looked up to see someone very familiar. I looked up and saw Blake.

"Hey," I said. "And, no one is sitting here."

"Long time no see," he laughed, scratching the back of his neck. "Where have ya been? A lot of shit has happened here."

"After I left here I went home, my brother was mad at me and then I left to go to Ohio, and see my parents."

"Oh wow. Um, Kaylee, isn't here anymore,"

"Oh, she got out? Good for her!"

"No, Addisan, she overdosed a couple weeks ago. Her boyfriend found her in her room. That shit was hard to take, she was like a sister to me."

"I thought you weren't allowed to talk to anyone outta here?"

He scoffed. "You think we listen to that shit? I mean yeah those little pussies over there do, but we don't. I mean, come on Addie, we're all the same. We're all fucked up teenagers looking for an escape and soon enough we become best friends."

I nodded. He was right. "Yeah, I guess." The older guy whose name is Alex soon sat down. And a couple others I didn't recognize.

Andrea stood up from her desk in her office with a clipboard and came over to us. "Ready to go?" We all stood up and followed her into the group room.


"So, there are a couple new faces for some of you. Trisha, Kai, this is Addisan, she started coming a couple months ago." I waved. We did and introductory. "Addie, you have anything you want to talk about?"

"I kind of wanted to start off with a lesson. I want each and every one of you in here to know that it does get better. And I know that sounds like some mental bullshit, but it's not. It does get better. I'm sitting right here, and I am living proof that you can get better. Right now you're looking at a girl. A girl who is-was broken." I began. "Three attempted suicides. Enough cuts to kill myself ten times. My stomach has been pumped one too many times. I was fighting my own state of mind. I know now you're thinking that it's all over, there's nothing you can do to fix yourself. Well, therapy doesn't work for everyone, no offense, Andrea." They laughed. "But, fixing yourself involves meltdowns, relapses, tears, and being unstable. But, in the end, all that fucking hell you went through, turns out to be the light you were looking for. And when I tell you, things get better, I'm not lying."

I was looking around the room, to see the faces of the other teenagers. "Wow," Blake said. "Thanks, Ads."

"But, anyway. Basically after I left here my arch enemy took me home and my brother didn't want me there, so I subtly left the state, going to Ohio to spend a couple months with my parents who I didn't end on good terms with. There, I was willing to fix what happened with them, and get myself on track. Now, here I am, clean, and half way happy back in California."


"Well, shit Addie. You came back with a bang," Blake said as we were walking down the stairs.

"Yeah, I guess. But everything I said was true."

He nodded. Andy saw me and came up to me. He looked at Blake. "He's a friend," I told Andy. "I'll meet you in the car in five."

"Yeah, but a friend that worships your band, holy shit dude! You're Andy Biersack!" he said. Andy smiled. Blake didn't hesitate to give him a hug. "Hey, I know a lot of people probably say this, but I wanted to let you know that I'd be dead without you, dude. I know usually pussy ass girls say this, but I mean it. I owe my life to you. Thanks for being there."

Andy looked like he was going to cry. "Hey man, it's okay. Yeah, I usually here it from girls. But there's those few guys that have the balls to admit they were saved by another man. I'm happy I could be there for you." Andy gave him one more hug and than headed out to the car.

"Aw, that was so cute!" I squealed.

Blake playfully punched my arm. "Shut up," he mumbled. "Hey, Addie can we exchange numbers and maybe hang out sometime?" I smiled and nodded. We exchanged and then when I was about to leave he grabbed my wrist. "Hey, I really like you, Biersack. And it's not because your brother is a fucking god. I'll text you." he winked, walking away.

Well, I guess coming here wasn't that bad. But, I also have a boyfriend.

Notes

UM HEY WHATS UP?!?!?

so basically this is a shitty little chapter but I added that long speech that Addie said in honor of me almost being one year clean. I wrote that to tell you that it really truly gets better. I went to group therapy at a rehabilitation center for two months. Thus, being why I know so much about the group therapy. I also went to one on one therapy for a year and continue to go to a different group therapy today. But, something I am proud to say about going to group therapy is that I'm no longer there for depression, just for anxiety.

But, anyway, things will get better!!! I promise. Ask my best friend, look at me a year ago and look at me now and there is a huge difference in my mental health, yeah sometime I get those down days, but everyone does and that's the point of being human. None of our lives are perfect, and yeah, sometimes we think we're worthless, but none of you are worthless. Stay strong me little muffins!

I love you all.