Nobody's Hero

I couldn't exactly explain the look on my mom's face. She looked, shocked, to say the least. I doubt she knew she would be opening the door to her daughter that let three years ago. I don't blame her though. It looked like she couldn't come up with the words to say to me. "A-addisan?" she choked out. It looked like she was about to cry, which was weird. The whole reason I left was because of her and my dad, and now she's crying that I'm back.

"Mom...." I trailed off. She looked me in the eyes. I felt the tears coming on. I couldn't explain this! It was so weird! Why am I about to cry? Why is she about to cry? This is all too much for me to understand. If we both wanted me out of the house so much, why was this dreading reunion so emotional? "I-It wa-"

"It wasn't working out in California. I knew you would come back Addisan.. there was no doubt." She knew exactly what I was going to say. She opened the door for me to come all the way in and I sat on the couch.

This house hasn't changed a bit in the three years I have been gone. "Addie, I knew when you left you would be coming back soon enough. You and your brother can never not fight. You two thrive on fighting with each other. And especially when you two are up each other's asses like you were in California." I nodded. She was right. But, when I moved down there, I didn't thrive on fighting with Andy, I thrived on fighting with Ashley.

"It wasn't really Andy who I was fighting with for most of the time," I muttered, fiddling with my thumbs. She looked at me, utterly confused.

"But, I've never seen you fight with the other guys.. I don't know who... ah, now I know! Ashley. You two." She snickered, like she knew something. "You two always fought! As much as you and Andy fought, the fights with Ash were double that! But, I thought it was just because both of you were hormonal teenagers, but I guess not, because how old is he now?"

"Twenty-four, yet he still acts like a ten year old," I replied, making her roll her eyes a tad. I didn't want to sit here with her, and act like nothing is wrong. I came here because this is the only place I know. And, if she is going to walk around, acting like nothing happened, I have to address it. "Mom, I can't sit here and act like nothing happened with you and dad."

"What do you mean?" She quizzed, the utmost confused. I cocked an eyebrow at her. "I truly don't know what you're talking about Addie."

I took in a deep breath, closing my eyes and thinking of the right words to say. "I left because of you and dad, and here I am, crawling back because all failed in California and I just want to forget it. I plan on staying here in Ohio and starting fresh. But I can't do that, still knowing that I have a past with you. It has to be addressed, mom."

She sighed. Clearly, she didn't want to have this conversation. I didn't either, and I never thought I would be having this conversation. "Addisan, after your brother left, I thought you hated us. You loved Andy so so much, it was crazy. He did everything for you. Whenever he wasn't around, you got snappy. You ignored us. It only got worse as Andy got older. The more he went out, the more you would be with me and your father. You snuck out so many times. We tried so hard to have a good relationship with you. But, we just gave up. We look back and think about how bad it was of us to handle the situation the way we did. And when you left, it was just me and your father."

I never thought about how it really was, when Andy was with us. Now that I hear the situations, I agree with them. I was a little bitch. I depended on my brother.. and I still did in California. I was never around my parents, because I never wanted to talk to them. I always, just wanted Andy.

"Mommy, I'm sorry," I whispered. I wish I would have never been like that with them. I wish I would have just seen that my relationship with my parents wasn't good, and I should have just tried to fix it. Now that I'm a little bit older, I do know how much I love them. How much I care for them and how much they mean to me.

But, I still wish I would have noticed sooner.

My mom engulfed me in a tight embrace and I started crying. I never realized how much I had missed my mom and dad. I pulled away and a stray tear left my mom's eye. "Now, I want you to tell me about California. Whether you like it or not. I'm a mother, and I need to know these things."

I let out a heavy sigh. "Well, you better pull up a seat."

--
It has been a couple days since I came back to Ohio, and I couldn't have asked for it any other way. In the middle of my telling my long, ridiculous adventure in California, my dad came in. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. He soon sat down next to my mom and I continued to talk about California. They were dreading the suicide part.

But, things are going well. And today, it's time to start fresh.

All I came with was the clothes on my back, and nothing else. My dad is taking me to open a new credit card and get a phone, and when my mom gets home from work she is going to take me to get clothes and stuff for my bedroom.

As much as I loved time with my father, I really needed to talk to my mom. There has been something itching in the back on my brain that I needed to get out. Something, only daughters talk about with their mothers.

"So, ready to get a new phone?" my dad asked, cutting the engine and looking at me, flashing his famous toothy smile. I nodded. I got up from the car and closed the door following him in the store. I was ecstatic about getting a new phone. I don't know why, because I haven't really talked to anyone here yet, but at least I have a phone and I don't feel like I'm living under a rock in hell.

--
After getting my phone and getting a new credit card, I sat anxiously on the couch, waiting for my mom's arrival. My need to talk to her right now, is desperate.

I was adding known numbers into my black iPhone 4S, out of boredom, just waiting. When I heard the front door open, I jumped up and walked over there. "Ready?" I asked, really really fast.

She chuckled at me. "Addie give me one second, I need to change out of these work clothes." I groaned and nodded.

Thankfully, she changed real fast and we were in the car on the way to the mall. "Okay, so I really have to talk to you. This is really serious." I stressed.

"Okay, Addisan, spit it out!" she laughed. I nodded.


"I think...I'm in love with Ashley." And that is when I felt, sick as fuck. Did I really just say that?

Notes

okay, yes I know this is really really late and iM SO SORRY!!

I have an overload with stuff going on rn. I literally feel so bad, I'm writing this before I do my
spanish project.
ugh, but anyways, addie is back with amy and chris and she admits a little something.

OH LALALALA
EGGSITING

I'm sorry for all the time lapses.

if you guys ever want to talk, message me!

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