'Here in this world I'm awaked with mistakes , but it's love that keeps fueling me. Fueling me.Oh.
Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes , would you show them to me?'

I sang along to my guitar , even though I have a crap voice , Carressa loves it when I sing , and her doctor told me if I brought stuff or did stuff that she loved it could help her come back faster. Or remember more when she came to.

'I know I'm not that perfect , but if you stay awhile baby then you will see.
Miles away I can still feel you lay your head down on my embrace. My embrace. Far away'

I heard Ash and Andy enter the room , they come visit her every so often. Not enough if you asked me , I haven't left. A nurse sneaks me into the staff washroom to shower and Vic brought me all my clothes from the house. And comes at the end of the week to wash the dirty ones. Carressa is my world , I want to be there when she wakes up.

'Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes would you show them to me? I know I'm not that perfect , but if you stay awhile baby then you will see'

"How is she?" Ash says while I strum , I nudge in response , I haven't talked to anyone but Carressa and her doctors. Once and a while I say 'Thank You' to Vic , but other then that I've been mute. I just can't focus on anything , how can you focus when you basically killed your soul mate? How can you focus when you out your soul mate in a coma? Thats all I can think about.

'Don't give up baby , I know that it's shaky. Just let love consume us , consume us. Oh.
Here in this world I'm awaked with mistakes , but it's love the keeps fueling me. Fueling me.
To love you!'

My voice cracked , and I could hear Ashley softly crying. This song has always been hard for me , thats why I had Shayley sing it. Because I can't without crying. I wrote this song the night I first found out about Carressa's self harming. I tried to scream it in the studio , but I couldn't even form a good growl without feeling the need to cry. I honestly only think I can do it now because I'm so numb. My feelings won't work.

'Miles away , I can still fell you lay your head down in my embrace. Be not afraid , to love me.
Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes , would you show them to me?
I know I'm not that perfect , but if you stay baby then you will see.'

I stopped strumming and looked and Carressa. When ever I say her face smirked just a tiny bit , it made me hopeful. the doctors said that was a big deal , that she's coming along smoothing and quickly. That she's fighting for something. Ashley had wrapped his arms around my waist during some part of the song and was now crying into my shoulder. I just watched him , not moved at all by his gesture. I just don't understand people. Why do situations like this bring people closer together? I get that we're all loosing someone we love. But it all effects us differently. Kellin and Vic will move on with there life if she dies. Ashley and Andy will slowly move on. Yea , it will effect Ash pretty bad. But they'll get over it. Me , on the other hand , won't. Not to sound selfish or anything , I just won't be able to move on. She is me. If she dies , I might as well be considered dead as well.

I did this to her! I fucking did this!

Notes

The song I used here is 'When You Can't Sleep At Night' by 'Of Mice And Men' (Link)

But other than that , the recovery is happening , people wanted it. So I guess this book is going to be like 60-70 chapters. I really don't wanna start a third , but I might have to.

Whatever , time will tell.

So I'm thinking about doing this with all of the characters. A different song for each. But I don't know yet.

OH! AND GET READY! THERES GONNA BE A MYSTERY GUEST (Well , actually two) AND SO MUCH DRAMA IS GOING TO OCCUR BECAUSE OF IT! GET FUCKING READY!

Anyway , I love you , bye. <3