I couldn’t believe it. I had been straight with Holly and she told me off. Nicely, but told me off nonetheless. Most guys would take the hint back off and suffer in silence, but I was not most guys. I was Dennis Westhower, d***it!
So instead of sitting there all night like a love sick reject I got my happy a** up and decided to make up for all the lost time I had with Holly.
I woke up bright and early in order to make breakfast for Holly. There were only a few eggs so there was only enough for the two of us. The rest of the band good eat d*** for all I cared.
I happened to be an excellent egg fryer, in case you didn’t know. I got out two paper plates and piled the scrambled eggs onto them. I put a little bit of Ranch on top of mine and sat the eggs on the table.
“Holly! Breakfast!” I yelled pounding on her door.
The door flew open and a very angry looking Holly appeared in the door way. “Are you mentally ill? That is no way to wake someone up!”
I gave her an innocent look. “I made you breakfast. I didn’t want it to get cold.”
She gave me a doubtful look and traipsed into the kitchen in delightfully skimpy pajamas to see for herself. “Wow, you weren’t kidding. He’s not as selfish as he looks folks,” she said to herself.
“I can be quite charming if you give me the chance,” I said with a mischievous glint in my eyes.
I sat down at the tiny little table across from Holly and began eating. I was enjoying my chef expertise when she spoke again.
“Where is everyone else?”
“They left a note saying they went out for breakfast with our tour manager. Apparently it wasn’t important enough to wake me,” I said with a shrug.
I picked up my plate and tossed it in the trash and threw my fork in the sink. I came back and draped myself across the table instead of trying to cram my gazelle legs under it. Holly just gave me a pointed look before getting up and disposing of her garbage. She ran water in the sink and started washing up the dishes.
“Man, you’d look hot as h*** in a skimpy little maid outfit,” I said before I really thought about it.
“So would you,” she retorted looking over her shoulder.
I wanted to facepalm, but I’m too hot for that so I plowed on instead. “I think I look better in tight leather pants.”
“Jake looks better.”
“Ouch,” I said cliché-ly grabbing my heart, “You sure know how kill the mood.”
“There is no mood,” she said turning around giving me a look while drying her hands on the back of her shorts. They were Boys Like Girls boxers from the first day, to be exact.
“I definitely disagree with that statement. I just think we are both really spectacular at killing it,” I admitted honestly.
She rolled her eyes. “You must be so good at killing it; I didn’t even know it existed.”
“Ha, ha,” I said dryly.
I frowned realizing how much s*** I had gotten myself into. I had a lot of work to do. But I had a feeling the payoff was worth all the work.
“I need my after-breakfast-smoke. Care to join me?” I asked getting up to retrieve my smokes.
“Flattering. You’re going to get lung cancer,” she said, but got up to follow me anyway.
I smiled to myself and opened the bus door. Like a gentlemen I sat on the ground allowing Holly to sit on the steps.
“So you mean to tell me that you’ve never even tried a cigarette?” I asked waving mine around in my fingertips before lighting it.
She shook her head and then elaborated. “Nope, I’m a straight edge kid. My parents made sure of that.”
I took a drag and blew smoke rings. “Let me guess super religious parents?” I speculated.
“Not even close.”
“Prudes?” I guessed wrinkling my brow.
She laughed a sad little laugh and shook her head. “If there’s one thing I hate in this world it’s talking about them. They were addicts. True match made in heaven. They would, take, smoke, shoot, or snort anything they could get their hands on. They even dabbled in gambling. They lost the house to their habits and in turn lost me.”
I took a long drag thinking this over. I was shocked. I pictured her having a Mike and Carol Brady kind of parents. Actually I sort of pictured her head on the oldest daughter’s body. Well I officially felt like an over presumptuous d***. “I don’t really know what to say, Holl. I feel like a d***.”
“It’s okay you didn’t know. I almost wonder sometimes what I would have been like if I would have stayed with them instead of living with Joann. She was horrible to me. When I left I was damaged goods. But I still don’t know if it was from her or my parents,” she said more to herself than to me.
“S***, I’m sorry,” I said lighting another cigarette. I needed an a**ton of nicotine at a time like this. I was better at these touchy feely things earlier in my career.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump this all on you, but I just thought if you knew a little about my background you would understand why I am the way I am. I probably would be a normal person like you partying and drinking my life away, but I’m so afraid to do anything that might make me like my parents in anyway. So sometimes I come off as uptight”
I did something totally unAndy like and crawled over and hugged her tightly. I rubbed the back of her head and whispered directly into her ear, “Uptight works on you.”