I'm a Loaded Gun (Part 2)

"Say Something, baby. I'll never give up on you," his voice pleaded, "I promise."

He's said that before you damn fool. He's going to keep disappointing you. He'll never love you. He never did. Die you bloody idiot. Get what you deserve, to die. The evil voice in my head had returned.

Why are you back you asshole? You almost killed me in the past. Why should I let you win now you fucking bastard? Go away. Andy's here.

You honestly think he's gonna stay? It spat back. He's going to get your hopes up. He'll leave you at the fucking alter just like he did with you on the corner, and for Juliet, and back at your house. You're his sob story and hot little thing for now, or so you think. You are ugly, vile, hideous, worthless.

I wish the voice was a real person that I could kick, punch, scream, murder. Go away, GO away, GO AWAY. I screamed in my head. Leave me alone.

Worthless, weak, withered, and used. Go sleep with him now, let him use you more. Why don't you go find Jinxx. You enjoyed kissing him, the warm feeling of his hands, lips, and body. What a filthy little whore you are. You didn't want to push him off. Admit it you like it, you fucking loved it.

NO I DIDN'T.

Get the bottle honey, the only way I'll go away is to die with you. You know that's what you want. You can't drink me away. You can't cut me out of your skin. I'm here. I'm fucking right here. Kill yourself you kill me. That's the only thing you can do. So do it you coward.

I found my body suddenly. It was like my soul had been away and had been drawn back to my physical form. I felt EVERYTHING. The sick twisting in my stomach, the pounding in my head, the horrific pain in my thigh, freezing water showering over me. I felt him. It was him. Hes here.

My head tilted over, resting in Andy's bare side. His fingers stroked my jaw line, "Baby, don't leave me, I'm here, I'm here. I love you," a kiss on my forehead, "I'm here. Always, always here. I love you, so, so much."

I slowly wrapped an arm around his waist, and he held me closer. I opened my eyes, seeing only his beautiful blue eyes covered partially by his drilling wet black hair. I did my best to make a smile.

Yeah, keep faking that smile.

I closed my eyes as Andy wrapped both arms around me, pulling my lips to his in one of the most bittersweet kisses. I thought at first the water was dripping from his hair, but only as I opened my eyes did I know, Andy was crying, eyes closed, lips still pressing with mine. I closed my lids and just let Andy lead the kiss. "I love you, so much," he breathed into me. He kissed me again, longer, no force, just the simple, childish desire of having contact with another and just enjoying it.

"Ho-ly shiiiiiitt," someone said.

Andy pulled back, still holding me, and looked across the room at a very very shocked Matt Good and a man I believed to Nick.

Look what you've done. You've embarrassed him. You're such a fucking shame. Attention whore.

He braced me as he picked me up, carefully trying to avoid the glass. "Matt take her, I can't get over until I clean up the glass. Just put her on a blanket next to the bed on her side. Left side, be careful she's got a bad cut on her right. Nick go down to the kitchen, there's a broom, pan, and bucket with bleach and a mop. Bring it up here."

I was exchanged to Matt, who was still basically in shock, and just about dropped me. I could barely hold up my head. He turned and pulled the black blanket off the foot of the bed and laid me down on my side. I just closed my eyes. I had no energy. I condo hear the fast footsteps and creaks of the floor as the boys rushed around.

"Dude shouldn't you call a fucking ambulance?!" Matt shouted.

"No," Andy replied calmly with a sigh. I can just see him running hand through his wet hair, "It'd make it worse. I can deal with this." I heard glass crunching. "Matt, toss me my boots...Damn! Learn how to throw."

If I'd had the energy I would have laughed. My stomach was twisting, I knew I was going to throw up. My stomach was nothing but alcohol. "Annnyyy," I mumbled.

"Oh, dude she doesn't look good," Nick said.
"She looks sick."

Someone brought me back to the bathroom and over to the toilet. I kept throwing up. I had a ton of water poured down my throat. It made me throw up more, but it was getting more alcohol out. I could feel someone wrapping and dressing my thigh but I was too tired to even make a sound about the incredible pain.

You should have just died.

I could faintly smell bleach and hydrogen peroxide. Someone's lap was my pillow. The tile was absolutely freezing. I felt myself begin to shake.

"Dude is she having a seizure?" It must have been Matt who I was resting on.

Warm hands, they had to be Andy's. "She's freezing. Here, give her to me." my body left the floor, momentarily in the air. But when I expected to me laid in bed, I wasn't. I was resting on someone. But I didn't even know anymore. I was so tired.

Thats it. Follow the darkness.

Notes

This was a hard chapter to write. A little explanation here: Depression medication has violent emotional and mental reactions with alcohol, hence the return of the voice.

I hope you guys are enjoying :)
love you guys