As you fade into the night.
How does it feel? It feels like I'm on fire.
" 7 minutes"
I smiled looking around the dim area backstage seeing everyone else jumping around and getting ready. Music pumped through my body as I heard the crowd cheering while the drum tech tested the drums.
This was going to be great, but every time I got to play on stage was great.
I was about to go find my guitar when my phone rang in my pocket making a small groan escape my lips.
Who could that be? no one would need to call this close to stage call considering John and all the guys were right there.
I took it out of my pocket and I smiled a little seeing it was Sammi, but why was she calling? She never calls so close to stage call.It was an early show though , it was only only 8 though so maybe she thought I wasn't due to go on until later.
I pressed answer and held the phone up to my ear looking around again seeing Ashley and Andy talking while jake fiddled with guitar next to them and cc spun his drumsticks also in the small huddle they had going on.
" hey Sam, what's up I'm about to go on stage" I said still focused on them until I heard her take in a sharp breath.
I instantly focused on the phone, Was she crying?
" hey, babe what's wrong"I asked quickly, she barely ever cried.
Ashley turned around and looked at me funny but I raised a finger up signaling for him to be quiet. He nodded and turned back towards andy as I waited for Sammi to reply.
"it's Jess" she said her voice dry and full of sadness.
I froze feeling my heart skip a beat, those words were never good words.
" Sammi what about Jess?"
Once the words left my mouth Ashley wiped around again and stared at me as the others quieted down and soon followed his actions.
I avoided their stares looking down a little and pressing the phone closer to my ear feeling my heart pound against my chest.
" she, she got in a car crash"
I heard her take in a quick breath again as the words left her mouth just as the manager called out the 5 minute mark.
I felt my body freeze in place as my mind buzzed. I had so questions that I wanted to immediately ramble over the phone but the biggest one made my heart ache was she alive?
" is she okay? Tell me she's okay" I said slowly trying everything not to cry right here and now.
My body felt like it was on fire. Ashley's eyes widened a little as he took a step towards me anxiously but didn't say anything.
" she's in a coma, she has a few ribs broken and some sprains but its just they said that they don't know when she will wake up. she could wake up tomorrow or in a few months, or maybe not at all they don't know" she said in a scratchy voice and I felt a tear fall down my face as my heart violently bounced against my chest.
my brain fogged over with so memories and thoughts that I couldn't think straight anymore.
"Shit" I muttered and saw the others look at me frozen Ashley's eyes locked in with mine a frozen expression on his face.
"No not her, oh my" I whispered again before taking in a breath trying to collect my self.
" okay Listen, keep me updated okay? I have to go and play and then once it's over we'll get the first plane back okay?"
I heard her let out another breath as I nervously tapped my foot.
"Okay" she finally breathed out
" are you alone?" I asked nervously rubbing my hand on my pants as I watched the stage crew walk off from setting up.
" no, the girls are here and Matt's on his way"
I smiled slightly,at least she wasn't alone, it made me feel a little bit better.
The line was still silent and I took in another shaky breath.
" okay baby I really have to go I love you Sammi, text me if anything happens"
" I love you too, call me after"
" I will" I said and With that the line went dead and I sighed out shoving my phone in my pocket taking a few steps around.
I nervously rubbed my face seeing the guys starring at me silently, worried expressions plastered on their faces.
" jinxx what's going on? What's wrong with Jess" cc asked finally breaking the silence and I let out a huge sigh before standing still and facing them.
Ashley was rubbing his hands against his thighs nervously and I closed my eyes a little not wanting to tell them, I could barley think about it let alone say it out loud.
"I'll tell you, but only if you promise me that no matter what I say, we need to stay and play okay? We need to do this" I said and I saw them stare at me blankly
" promise me" I repeated and they nodded hesitantly
" promise" ash said anxiously and I groaned knowing he'd be the worse of them all.
" okay, Jess is at the hospital she got into a car crash"
Once the words left my mouth they froze. I saw Ashley's face fall and his mouth drop open slightly leaving him speechless
" n-no , she's okay right?" Andy asked and I sighed
" I don't know, she's in a coma and she has a few cracked ribs, they don't know when or if she'll wake up"
" what?" Ashley asked dazed he stared at me before grabbing his head and raking a shakey hand through his hair.
"no, no we need to go, I need to be with her" he said trying to walk away but Andy grabbed him making him come to stop and face us again.
" ash, we need to stay ,those kids paid for a show" jake said as I watched a tear fall down his face.
I swallowed hard not wanting to cry also.
" my girlfriend could be fucking dying an you expect me to go out and pretend everything's alright!?" Ashley exclaimed wiping the stray tears away and I shook my head.
" ash, she's not dying. She's a strong girl, listen let's go talk to John, have him get us flights and once we get off stage we're leaving got it?" I asked and he nodded rubbing his face again as the others nodded.
" I'll go do it" he said quietly walking slowly to John who was near the stage with his clipboard.
" is Sammi there alone?" Andy asked and I shook my head
" no the girls and Matt are there"
They smiled a little before sighing out just as the lights started to dim and Ashley walked back over
" he's gana get us a flight"
We nodded and Andy signaled us to get close
" let's go, we need to be strong got it? I know it hurts you don't know how bad I want to leave and go see her but we need to do this , so lets kill it, for Jess got it?" He exclaimed making a smile grow on our faces.
" for Jess" we repeated and he smiled breaking the small huddle and walking to the entrance so we were lined up at the stage.
I picked up my guitar and let out a small breath, I just had to get through this show.
" thank you good night!" Andy shouted and I watched as the crowd cheered louder making a smile grow on my weak face. This was the longest set I've ever played.
We quickly walked off the stage and I took off my guitar just as Austin from of mice and men walked over to me and Andy. We stopped and Andy offered a small smile to him.
"hey man, I heard you're leaving tonight , everything alright?" Austin asked sounding concerned as the rest came over.
" not really, jinxx's cousin-"
" my girlfriend" Ashley added in and Andy nodded turning back to Austin who was looking worriedly at us
" she got in a car crash, she's in bad shape, in a coma and we really need to go be with her I don't think we can continue the tour I'm really sorry man" Austin grew a small sad smile before he grabbed Ashley's shoulder in a light squeeze
" I totally understand, I'm sorry, keep me updated okay?" He asked and we all smiled.
" of course thanks" Andy said and he smiled one last time before walking off to find his band.
Imeditatly after he walked off John scrambled to us
"Hey so I got us a flight at 10 so that gives us"
He looked at his phone quickly
" and hour and we are 30 minutes from The airport so I suggest we leave, like now"
We all smiled and nodded Ashley grabbed him in a hug.
" thank you so much"
John laughed and patted him quickly before pulling away
" anytime purdy boy now let's go we have a plane to catch"
He turned towards the exit and we all horridly followed him.
The music slowly started to become softer as we reached the back doors and threw them open walking into the cold night air.
We were all silent as we got to the bus and walked on imeditatly going to pack our stuff up as the bus started up and started moving.
I walked to my bunk along with others and pulled my black suitcase from the bottom and started pushing loose things in it.
My mind was fuzzy and my heart still pounded, I can't lose her too, she can't go. She won't , she can't I promised my aunt I would never let anything happen to her.
I went to grab my charger but ended up looking at the bunk wall instantly freezing seeing the picture I kept there.
I grabbed the charger, threw it in and zipped up my bag slowly not taking my eyes from the photo.
I sighed sitting on the bed and taking the picture off the wall holding it in my hands.
It was from Christmas last year, me and Sammi came down so we were in jessicas living room each on one side of her. She had on a BVB shirt with black skinny jeans a huge smile on her face.she was so happy that day and it made me feel amazing that it was because of me.
I stared at the picture for awhile untill I couldn't see anymore due to the amount of tears blurring my vision.
someone clear their throat and I quickly wiped my eyes looking up to see Ashley standing there sadly with his bag in hand. He looked at my hands and held his hand out silently asking to look at it I nodded handing it to him and moved over so he could sit next to me.
He took it and plopped down next to me and looked at the picture silently while I looked around the bunk hallway noticing no one else was in it
" wow , she looked so happy" he said his voice cracking slightly halfway through and I chuckled a little nodding as he handed it back to me.
" she always was when we came,"
He remained quiet nodding and I saw a small tear fall down his face
" Ashley, she's going to be fine, I know her , she's a strong little motherfucker"
He let a small smile grow on his face a little before wiping the stray tears away and standing up
" I know it's just, I can't imagine what I would do if she wasnt here, she's changed me, I love her"
I smiled at his words, I knew he was telling the truth and I was glad he cared so much for her, she needed it and so did he.
" I know so do I"
He nodded again just as I felt the bus stop
" LET'S GO" Andy yelled from the front and I laughed a little standing up out of the bunk and grabbing my bag .
" let's go " I said and Ashley nodded following me out of the bunk room and towards the front of the door.
I let out a huge breath as we walked off the bus and into the dim airport parking lot.
I stared down at the picture that was still firmly gripped in my hand one more time and closed my eyes.
I just needed her to wake up.