As you fade into the night.
A Better place, A Better Time.
Ashley's pov:
I woke up at 11 am to Jess shaking and crying. I shot up as saw her on the edge of the bed.
"Jess what's wrong" I asked quickly moving to her.
She continued to shake and moved away from me . She was breathing heavy and crying.
"Jess" I said touching her cheek.
She just kept starring blank ahead. She buried her head in her knees still shaking and crying.Shit what was going on.
I quickly ran out of the room and pounded down the stairs. Everyone was sitting in the living room and looked at me once I ran in.
" ash what's wrong" jake asked
" Jess " I was all i managed to blurt out. Jinxx jumped up and thundered up the steps . The rest got up and we followed quickly behind.
We got in the room and she was in the same position as before Jinxx sat next to her and put his arm around her.
" Jess." He said
" jinxx I tried talking to her she's unresponsive" I said
"we know how to deal with it, she did this a lot after cam died" Sammi said and we nodded slowly.
"Jess you need to calm down okay?" Jinxx said rubbing her arms. She continued to shake and cry. We all watched worried. Sammi was at the edge of the bed and Andy, jake cc and me were leaning on the wall watching.
" this ones a bad one , " Sammi said and jinxx nodded.
" go get a wet towel Sammi" he said and she rushed out. He kept rubbing her arm until Sammi came back with a towel. She gave it to him and he gently rubbed her face.
She started mumbling a little. I looked over to cc who was next to me, he looked back and I saw worry in his eyes along with the others . I knew it was killing us seeing her like this. He moved her so she was in his lap and he continue to rub soothing circles in her back.
" hey Jess remember when you learned the drums?" He asked and she gave a tiny nod still not all there
" you had the pattern..1,2,3and 4." He said slowly
" remeber? 1,2,3 and 4.." He said again. He kept saying it softly rubbig her shoulder and I saw her breathing slow a little.
" shit.." Andy muttered
"c-c-a-m " she mumbled and he shushed her repeating the pattern.
" s-shou-ld ha-ve be-en me" she said and we all looked at eachother heart broken. She was talking though so it was a good sign I think. I don't know I've never dealt with this before , I couldn't believe jinxx and Sammi were so calm.
Jinxx gripped her tightly and started singing a song i didn't recognize very slowly.
" So she wakes up, just to break down, she left a note on the dresser and she's right on time. You don't know anything right or wrong" She still was shaking like crazy taking in deep jagged breaths but I saw her look around for a second.
" I said I know, and she said so, I want to panic but I've had it so I go oh oh you don't owe anything to anyone" he continue singing and rocking her gently
. I saw her relax a little but not entirely. I looked at Sammi who was slightly smiling and back to jake Andy and cc.
" what song is this?" Andy mouthed and I shrugged, I've never heard of it, what ever it is , it calmed her
. " cam.." She mumbled slowly. He kept rocking her and rubbing her shoulder before continuing the song.
"so don't take your life, cuz it's all that you've got, you'd be better just up and leaving if you don't think they will stop"
" mom, dad" she mumbled slowly again She still was taking heavy breaths and crying but it looked as if she was coming back to her senses.
He took a breath and kissed her cheek before rocking her more and conituing , this part slower.
" and when you wake up, everything is going to be fine, I guarantee that you'll wake In a better place in a better time." He said making each word last. I watched as she stopped shaking and started breathing normally. Her tears started to disappear as she caught her breath.
"Holy shit" Andy mumbled
" so your tired of living? And you feel like you might give in, well don't it's nt your time" he finished off smiling a little.
She seemed to come to her senses as she opened her eyes all the way and looked around at us all and up at jinxx.
"Jinxx?" She asked looking around he held her closely rocking her.
" shh it's okay Jess just go to sleep " he said And she nodded and closed her eyes. He laid her down and kissed her forehead and we watched her as she instantly fell back asleep.
He stood up and motioned for us to lead. We did and he followed leaving Sammi in there with Jess. He shut the door and sighed running a hand through his hair.
" Lets go down stairs" jake said and we nodded. We walked silently to the living room and all sat around on the couches except jinxx who sat on the chair.
" I was scared that was going to happen" jinxx said rubbing his head.
" what exactly was THAT?" Andy asked
"a panic attack, it usually happens when she rethinks of things and it gets too much in her head, basically it's when your thoughts and mind just feels like it's exploding and feels like a heart attack almost, that's why she was breathing heavy, I've had one when I was her age but that's it" he said and we stared at him shocked.
" you were so calm, how did you know what to do?" Cc asked and he sighed
"she's had them for awhile so I always knew that I needed to speak slowly and get a slow pace in her head for her to at least be aware of me there then I always sing that song." He said
"what song was that, once you sang the part about being in a better place , better time she instantly calmed down" jake said and I saw jinxx give a small smile.
" it's called a better place, a better time. It's by a SKA band called Streetlight Manifesto, she's been listening to the band since she was ten, its a rock band but with trumpets and saxaphones, i brought her to see them a year ago after cam died and she met the singer Tom, he's a really good dude , he brought her on stage and dedicated the song to her " he said
" wow.." I mumbled and he nodded. " that song was alway her favorite, she always had listened to it , so I automatically learned that whenever something was wrong that I would sing it and whenever that part came up, she instantly calmed down."
" you really love her man don't you?" Cc asked and jinxx nodded
" you guys have no idea, ever since that day she attempted suicide , that day that I legit saw my baby cousin brake, I promised myself I would potect her with my life, she's been through hell and back and I've always tried to be right there with her" he said and we were silent. She really did mean the world to him.
" I remember.. In the hospital when she attempted suicide, we were in the waiting room and my aunt and uncle were talking with me." He took in a shaky breath and we looked at him worried, he had so much pain still in him from his aunt and uncle dying,I could tell but I also could tell he was trying to stay strong for Jess.
"They told me how much I meant to them and how I was more of a son then a nephew , on how they love my bond with Jess" he wiped a stray tear from his face.
" I'll never forgot what my aunt said to me that day, she told me that if there was anything to happen to them, that they wanted me to take care of Jess, to make sure she was okay, to not let her go back down the same road" he said a few more tears falling down his face.
Andy got up and sat on the edge of the chair patting his shoulder.
" hey man it's okay, they'd be proud of what your doing for her" he said
" but I feel like I'm failing them! Because I'm too dumb to see , she did go back down the road" he sobbed into his hands. Shit.
" hey ,listen your Doing the best you can , she's alive, she pretty happy, she has a home. Jinxx yeah she has gotten back Into self harming but do you know what? They would still be proud with the way your helping her. You love that gel we can all tell and I know for a fact. That your aunt and uncle would be fucking proud" cc said
"you think so?" He asked wiping his face.
" we know so" jake and jinxx smiled
" I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to brake down on you" he said sitting up.
" it's fine, were family , we all fall and well always be here for each other to catch the others." I said and he smiled.
" thank you"
" anytime, but I have a question" I asked and he nodded
. " isn't Jess turning 18 soon?" I asked and his eyes widened.
" shit next Wednesday, yes ." He said
" what are you getting her?" Cc asked
"well funny thing, I actually got in touch with Tom from streetlight manifesto the other day and they're playing a show in La that night, so I'm bringing her to that. You guys should come to, they're really good. It's going to be a surprise" he said and we all smiled.
" great, ill also buy her a present though " Andy said
" yeah same" jake said
" yeah no defiantly, I'm have another gift for her. It's going to be amazing." Jinxx said his face lighting up.
"what about you purdy? You have something in mind?" Cc asked and I instantly smiled
"actually I do" I said smiling.
"what is it?" Andy asked
" Im going to design her first tattoo, of course if jinxx is okay with it" I said and jinxx smiled nodding
. " defiantly, she's been wanting one forever" he said and I smiled instantly thinking of a design.
I was planning on making her birthday perfect.
I had to.
I woke up at 11 am to Jess shaking and crying. I shot up as saw her on the edge of the bed.
"Jess what's wrong" I asked quickly moving to her.
She continued to shake and moved away from me . She was breathing heavy and crying.
"Jess" I said touching her cheek.
She just kept starring blank ahead. She buried her head in her knees still shaking and crying.Shit what was going on.
I quickly ran out of the room and pounded down the stairs. Everyone was sitting in the living room and looked at me once I ran in.
" ash what's wrong" jake asked
" Jess " I was all i managed to blurt out. Jinxx jumped up and thundered up the steps . The rest got up and we followed quickly behind.
We got in the room and she was in the same position as before Jinxx sat next to her and put his arm around her.
" Jess." He said
" jinxx I tried talking to her she's unresponsive" I said
"we know how to deal with it, she did this a lot after cam died" Sammi said and we nodded slowly.
"Jess you need to calm down okay?" Jinxx said rubbing her arms. She continued to shake and cry. We all watched worried. Sammi was at the edge of the bed and Andy, jake cc and me were leaning on the wall watching.
" this ones a bad one , " Sammi said and jinxx nodded.
" go get a wet towel Sammi" he said and she rushed out. He kept rubbing her arm until Sammi came back with a towel. She gave it to him and he gently rubbed her face.
She started mumbling a little. I looked over to cc who was next to me, he looked back and I saw worry in his eyes along with the others . I knew it was killing us seeing her like this. He moved her so she was in his lap and he continue to rub soothing circles in her back.
" hey Jess remember when you learned the drums?" He asked and she gave a tiny nod still not all there
" you had the pattern..1,2,3and 4." He said slowly
" remeber? 1,2,3 and 4.." He said again. He kept saying it softly rubbig her shoulder and I saw her breathing slow a little.
" shit.." Andy muttered
"c-c-a-m " she mumbled and he shushed her repeating the pattern.
" s-shou-ld ha-ve be-en me" she said and we all looked at eachother heart broken. She was talking though so it was a good sign I think. I don't know I've never dealt with this before , I couldn't believe jinxx and Sammi were so calm.
Jinxx gripped her tightly and started singing a song i didn't recognize very slowly.
" So she wakes up, just to break down, she left a note on the dresser and she's right on time. You don't know anything right or wrong" She still was shaking like crazy taking in deep jagged breaths but I saw her look around for a second.
" I said I know, and she said so, I want to panic but I've had it so I go oh oh you don't owe anything to anyone" he continue singing and rocking her gently
. I saw her relax a little but not entirely. I looked at Sammi who was slightly smiling and back to jake Andy and cc.
" what song is this?" Andy mouthed and I shrugged, I've never heard of it, what ever it is , it calmed her
. " cam.." She mumbled slowly. He kept rocking her and rubbing her shoulder before continuing the song.
"so don't take your life, cuz it's all that you've got, you'd be better just up and leaving if you don't think they will stop"
" mom, dad" she mumbled slowly again She still was taking heavy breaths and crying but it looked as if she was coming back to her senses.
He took a breath and kissed her cheek before rocking her more and conituing , this part slower.
" and when you wake up, everything is going to be fine, I guarantee that you'll wake In a better place in a better time." He said making each word last. I watched as she stopped shaking and started breathing normally. Her tears started to disappear as she caught her breath.
"Holy shit" Andy mumbled
" so your tired of living? And you feel like you might give in, well don't it's nt your time" he finished off smiling a little.
She seemed to come to her senses as she opened her eyes all the way and looked around at us all and up at jinxx.
"Jinxx?" She asked looking around he held her closely rocking her.
" shh it's okay Jess just go to sleep " he said And she nodded and closed her eyes. He laid her down and kissed her forehead and we watched her as she instantly fell back asleep.
He stood up and motioned for us to lead. We did and he followed leaving Sammi in there with Jess. He shut the door and sighed running a hand through his hair.
" Lets go down stairs" jake said and we nodded. We walked silently to the living room and all sat around on the couches except jinxx who sat on the chair.
" I was scared that was going to happen" jinxx said rubbing his head.
" what exactly was THAT?" Andy asked
"a panic attack, it usually happens when she rethinks of things and it gets too much in her head, basically it's when your thoughts and mind just feels like it's exploding and feels like a heart attack almost, that's why she was breathing heavy, I've had one when I was her age but that's it" he said and we stared at him shocked.
" you were so calm, how did you know what to do?" Cc asked and he sighed
"she's had them for awhile so I always knew that I needed to speak slowly and get a slow pace in her head for her to at least be aware of me there then I always sing that song." He said
"what song was that, once you sang the part about being in a better place , better time she instantly calmed down" jake said and I saw jinxx give a small smile.
" it's called a better place, a better time. It's by a SKA band called Streetlight Manifesto, she's been listening to the band since she was ten, its a rock band but with trumpets and saxaphones, i brought her to see them a year ago after cam died and she met the singer Tom, he's a really good dude , he brought her on stage and dedicated the song to her " he said
" wow.." I mumbled and he nodded. " that song was alway her favorite, she always had listened to it , so I automatically learned that whenever something was wrong that I would sing it and whenever that part came up, she instantly calmed down."
" you really love her man don't you?" Cc asked and jinxx nodded
" you guys have no idea, ever since that day she attempted suicide , that day that I legit saw my baby cousin brake, I promised myself I would potect her with my life, she's been through hell and back and I've always tried to be right there with her" he said and we were silent. She really did mean the world to him.
" I remember.. In the hospital when she attempted suicide, we were in the waiting room and my aunt and uncle were talking with me." He took in a shaky breath and we looked at him worried, he had so much pain still in him from his aunt and uncle dying,I could tell but I also could tell he was trying to stay strong for Jess.
"They told me how much I meant to them and how I was more of a son then a nephew , on how they love my bond with Jess" he wiped a stray tear from his face.
" I'll never forgot what my aunt said to me that day, she told me that if there was anything to happen to them, that they wanted me to take care of Jess, to make sure she was okay, to not let her go back down the same road" he said a few more tears falling down his face.
Andy got up and sat on the edge of the chair patting his shoulder.
" hey man it's okay, they'd be proud of what your doing for her" he said
" but I feel like I'm failing them! Because I'm too dumb to see , she did go back down the road" he sobbed into his hands. Shit.
" hey ,listen your Doing the best you can , she's alive, she pretty happy, she has a home. Jinxx yeah she has gotten back Into self harming but do you know what? They would still be proud with the way your helping her. You love that gel we can all tell and I know for a fact. That your aunt and uncle would be fucking proud" cc said
"you think so?" He asked wiping his face.
" we know so" jake and jinxx smiled
" I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to brake down on you" he said sitting up.
" it's fine, were family , we all fall and well always be here for each other to catch the others." I said and he smiled.
" thank you"
" anytime, but I have a question" I asked and he nodded
. " isn't Jess turning 18 soon?" I asked and his eyes widened.
" shit next Wednesday, yes ." He said
" what are you getting her?" Cc asked
"well funny thing, I actually got in touch with Tom from streetlight manifesto the other day and they're playing a show in La that night, so I'm bringing her to that. You guys should come to, they're really good. It's going to be a surprise" he said and we all smiled.
" great, ill also buy her a present though " Andy said
" yeah same" jake said
" yeah no defiantly, I'm have another gift for her. It's going to be amazing." Jinxx said his face lighting up.
"what about you purdy? You have something in mind?" Cc asked and I instantly smiled
"actually I do" I said smiling.
"what is it?" Andy asked
" Im going to design her first tattoo, of course if jinxx is okay with it" I said and jinxx smiled nodding
. " defiantly, she's been wanting one forever" he said and I smiled instantly thinking of a design.
I was planning on making her birthday perfect.
I had to.
Notes
Sorry just a small update. That sog in there is honestly my favorite song. It is called A Better Place A Better Time , by a band Streetlight manifesto. They are SKA , those of you who are in familiar with that music it is rock with some trumpets sound lame but honestly check out that song . They are amazing , I've listened to them since I was 8 years old and I've seen them 3 times. I honestly think they're very good. Also feel free to follow me on twitter@omandjess
thank you all for reading! Hope you like it
I love this so much update soon plzzzz
6/2/15